i've LOST in this game called "LIFE".
i didn't expect i would have this day.
i didn't expect to fall so hard, and still get knocked.
i didn't expect to climb up on my feet alone.
i didn't expect to climb and fall again.
i didn't expect the unexpected ones to be there.
i didn't expect the expected ones not to be there.
i never knew this real world's so tough and hard.
i never knew people protect me from the truth.
now i'm here bearing all responsibility, fullfilling all
the promises i made and those who made to me, but did
not fulfill it. i never knew i had to be the one.
fate is there, to bring me down.
i've lost everything, from my bestfriends, to girlfriends,
to friends, to money, to ability to write a poem, to ability to
dance, to ability to indulge, to feel happiness and everything else
to LIFE.
i do not want to turn back, i do not want to be haunted by memories.
i never expect all this.
i do not want those nightmares, i do not want to open my eyes.
i do not want to face to reality.
everytime i woke up, i asked why is this happening to me?
why do i have to wake up so early?
why didn't he came to my dream last night?
to my amazement, i fell in love with this guy in my dream.
this guy appeared 4 years ago.
he appeared 2 days ago(: during my naptime, twice.
he has very little hair (as in his hair so thin & short)
he had nice body (for me)
with his seenable veins on his hands, he's thin.
4years ago, i sat side by side with him, on a beach,
watching kids running after each other.
i didn't get to see his face, he was wearing a white shirt.
were sitting on a map, no talks no conversation.
2 days ago, i dreamt of someone i knew. someone i once loved.
he's so like my dream guy. same, we aint have any conversation.
we're clad in baju kurungs (:
first dream, daddy kept constantly appearing in my dream=.=
second dream, i couldn't remember.
i knew he took out a necklace from his pocket, he was about to
give it to me, when i bloody woke up by some calls and smses:(
what's this?
i miss him though, altho he just appears in my dreams.