drowning in my thoughts



yesterday night, was just another night
without you by my side.
quietly i cried, hoping things will turn alright.
tick a tock, the seconds turn replacing time with time.
reminiscning has been a stranger to me,
when i've no reason to hold on and see.


hah, the above is what i've created (:
finally, i've got my ENGLISH SENSE back!
i seriously need to start writing poems or i'll
go crazy :( 1 year without poems, how dull can my life be?
i felt so guilty, calling my bitch and ranting and ranting.
but the worst part is i keep repeating my rants :(
poor her, must have felt very annoyed.
but each time i repeat my rant, we'll have a different
conclusion, and we ended up almost quarreling. yes!
she said : "i know i sounded like someone, i didnt mean to"
i was already to shagged and engrossed in my thoughts.
first, we conclude things will be alright.
secondly, we conclude no its gna make things worst.
third time, we conclude let natural take pace.
fourth, we conclude i cant take it anymore.
i felt like a total bitch.
i didnt feel like talking to anyone, i cant believe i shed tears.
ITS SHED NOT SOB!
only my right eye leis.
LOL. a very good wake up call.
i just hafto keep on puffing and huffing.
realising how much life is out of reach, realising how much
life has in store for us, realising how much i cant rush
things :(
still, my bitch was the best.
yes, she did scolded me. she did blame herself,
i was already too weak. she's so sad.
me: "i'm so sorry baobei, i know this is the first time
you ever hear me say things like this"
as in, its the first time ever that im so low and
so engrossed and shag. i always place others first.
she: "i know, its okay."
we just hope things will turn out alright.
for those, who had been texting me and supporting me (:
im so sorry, i couldnt reply because my prepaid low.
but i'll never forget who you are. trust me, thankiu so nice.
i dont wanna say anything else, caus i dont want this few people
to say like :
"see, i thought you'll be happy without me but in the end.."
that kind of craps. BABY LUR SEYY!
i said this once, i said this twice, this time i'll still say it again!
I CHOSE THIS PATH, THEREFORE I WILL BE RESPONSIBLE
OF MY OWN DEEDS AND DOINGS. IF I'VE OFFENDED YOU
IN ANYWAY OR IF I OWE YOU ANYTHING, COME AND FIND ME.
WHETHER THIS PATH WILL LEAD TO A HAPPY ENDING OR NOT,
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE OF YOU.
CAUS WHETHER IM HAPPY OR NOT, I'LL WALK IT DOWN MY OWN.
SO DONT COME LECTURING ME ON WHAT I SHOULD AND
NOT DO! IM THE PRINCESS, IM THE BOSS, I CALLS THE SHOT,
SO GET LOST! IM NOT THAT UNGRATEFUL KIND OF BITCH.
I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING, I FORGIVES BUT NEVER
FORGETS. SO, IF YOU BLOODY WANNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY
LIFE, LET ME TELL YOU THIS : GO GET A LIFE!