endless miseries**

see me drown

2008-12-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

see me drown, drown deep in you.

caus pictures are deceiving, behind those smiles leads a thousand sorrow.

i've missed you by 5 mins

2008-12-09T20:17:00.001-08:00

i've missed you by 5 mins

i just woke up and here i am blogging after my daily routine of
checks up for my friendster and yadayada =.-
i realised i missed bi by 5 mins again :(
i dont think it matters much to him now.
was waiting for bestieKU to text me last night till very late,
then he tertido plak =.- haiyoyohs! takpe, not the first time kan?
yesterday night follow mok go down and pick busu up.
went to my house the nearest 7-11 at the shell.
saw many familiar faces; iskandar,karthik, hafiz.....
the rest tak kenal lah :( anyway, people keep staring and smiling at me
i caught iskandar's eye but he seems to avoid :( i dont know why.
i cant recall doing anything bad to him? a few months ago we're
still in talking terms, haishh.. maybe so long never contact them already.
made them feel so left out or something. aku tetap sygkan korg lurh.
karthik smiled and say hello, ahhh! didnt knew it was him, i knew he was
familiar; da hansem lahh kann.
bought my ciggs caus i cant keep smoking ang hun my fingers
turn yellow, my lips burnt, my throat sucky =.-
last night dream was i dont know what you call that but i do not wish
to believe in that dream. it felt so sad and unbelievable.
true enough, i woke up with tears in my eye(altho i cant really remember
the content of the dream; consist of two parts)
it goes something like this :
i was engaged to my boyfriend, yes ENGAGED!
at the age of 16 or 18; i cant remember.
i was damn sad, very very very sad.
not because of the unGLAM engagement but because
i NEVER wanted to get engaged or married :(
but still this engagement continued.
his family were in purple and mine were in blue.
no fancy wedding gowns, we're just clad in baju kurong.
then i was too sad to even see whats happening.
okay, then i cant remember already.
how sad is that?
i woke up with tears in my eyes. i do not know why.
i cant even be sure if that guy in my dream is my boyfriend.
till now, im still pretty upset. yes i know it's just a dream.
but you see, that DREAM 4 years ago tells me that dreams DO
COME TRUE OKAY!
ahhh, one thing for sure, i know that in the dream i got engaged
not because i was pregnant. but haiyoh,
nowadays where got people get engaged so young one?
god save me please? tell me the meaning of the dream :(
i need to go buy a book that can intepret dreams.
SERIOUSLY, my bitch(deear) once told me that there's such book,
it's expensive but the worst part was it IS IN MALAY!
haiyoyoyoh. nevermind, at most i will look up the dictionary lah kan?
today i'll be all alone at home, so dont be suprised to see me blog like
4-5 times =.- i've nothing better to do.
okay now, i've gotta go check sgclub; a long long time since i've been active.
byebye see you later

awwwwwww!;cepedd is the name

2008-12-09T05:56:00.000-08:00

awwwww!

uhuh, confided in bestieKU (irfan). awwww!
kecoh beh kaypoh lagy ehk bestieKU? (:
MUAHAHAHA:D
how cute can he be? yes, although he's a year younger,
but he never fails to be there neither did he fails to make
me go GAGA(: and and our promises kan bestie kan kan kan?
hah! see, he likes me i likes him too!
suke jehk ehhk, bestieKU? kekek siots!
the one who understand my mix language! (haiyoyohs!)
ahhh, he will try and and ask that HOT guy along; omg!
yes, LOL. caus they knew each other =.- aiyo!
whatever it is, i'll be meeting bestie later in the month!
mesti best kan? ade baby ader, sume best(:
*self-praise*
that day might be the MEET-THE-GUYS-DAY .
hmmmmpfts, i think sooner or later me & bi's gna drift.
ahh, drift yes drift. to the left to the left =.-
hasn't been talking much, hasn't been contacting but ohh..
maybe they says "absence makes the heart grew fonder"
ahhh, dont ply that on me=.-
still very emotional now, i dont know what i should do.
i've stopped reading that book, caus i dont like it.
dont like the body line also, sounds almost the same with the one
i read before :( therefore, my very very kind brother is going to
borrow me a new book tomorrow. better be a nice and interesting one,
if not i shall make him go over and over again.
bitch might be comin over tomorrow at 3 (:
hmmmpfts, she makes me wanna read "braless" so much .
ahhhh, anyway... here i am eating 2 bars of chocolate (:
sorry, i cant help it.. i swear =.-
i finished my ciggs, shall wait for busu to come back and roll for me.
hmmmpfst, i know how to make that smoke effect.
that thick thick smoke then take pics sure nice one (:
DONT TELL YOU, kaypoh!
ahhhh, my bitch so gna be proud of me.
anyway, christmas coming..
all i want for christmas is ... THAT BOBBI BROWN BRUSHES(:
awwww, kidding lahh ehk.
all i want for christmas is .. (______________) fill in the blank.
okay ciaos!
gtg entertain people nows!
c ya baybehh

easy come easy go

2008-12-09T02:25:00.000-08:00

easy come easy go

awwwwww! these cute people just spice up my life (:
new friends are pretty much lovable.
to all whom tried so hard to get to know me, thankiu so nice.
ooooh, did i mention i saw a hottie on friendster?!
AWWWW! okay, shaddup =.-
i found the joy in puffing already (:
LOL. still am cutting down; therefore i've to enjoy my every puff.
yes bi asked me today since when i become so jiwang?
ahhh, this i do not know :(
afterall i realise jiwangs not that bad what..
granny's out again; her usual mahjong session.
brother hogged the com the whole afternoon.
GLAD, now it's my turn. i'ma stuck my ass here
for another two hour or so.
i missed so many people ;( it's been a long time since
i mingle and mix and get to know more friend.
i dont deny; im emotional this few days. wna know why?
spell P-M-S ahhh :(
hmmpfts, had stupid stupid cravings think about stupid stupid things.
i realise i dont know how to make someone happy,
but i can make someone laugh and feel love.
but all these applies to everyone except MY BOYFRIEND :(
ahhh, somebody teach me to make him happy.
gawwwwwwwdddddd!
see so many sad face up there already right right right?
new year's coming, i do not know what to do.
anyway, i miss my bitch. she's in camp now:( oh no, she'll
be back TOMORROW! ahhh, yes !
she'll be dropping by tomorrow baby! (:
can i say or can i not say?
okay, my bitch sort of got very angry with me.
she didn't like the way boyfiee treats me, she wants me to
wake up from my dream. ahhh yes the dream :(
i dont want, very reluctant to ! anybody tell me what to do?
okay, now spell STRESS. am muching non-stop on the crackers.
now what?
hear this, my relationship; my say.
sad.. off to munCh.. BYE

slumber party for two

2008-12-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

slumber party for two

okay baby, ditch the clothes, put on your bra and boyshort!

let's go PARTAYYYYE , till dawn (:

am still very excited about the upcoming slumber party.

but whether its this month or not, im not very sure.

camwhore,drink,bitch,dance,sing.. what else have i missed out?

dressup-s, makeups...

awwww!

idk if it'll even come true; we just quarreled last night :(

still i bitch her, i still love you joey.

if it's time to wake up?

2008-12-08T20:36:00.000-08:00

if it's time to wake up?

thinking hard what baobei said yesterday,afterall it's just a dream.

a dream that is shared by two, consist of two who knew each other

and got seperated but in the end they found each other.

not to reconcile but because of the dream.

what do i want to gain from all this? is this love?

why be together when we dont love each other?

why try to be together when we dont try to love each other?

but as i always said; guys will always be guys.

no matter who you chose to be in a relationship with,

no matter what's the ending, in the end.. you've just gained yourself,

another pocket full of memories; bitter sweet you decide which to

remember and which not to (:

i cant answer those questions i posed to myself;

because everyone will say it's stupid.

yes stupid, i did it or the dream.

caus you weren't there in the dream caus nobody else

except the two of us, you never knew how beautiful it was.

you never knew how amazing it was that two human being can

actually dream of each other in the same dream and aftermath

found each other 4 years after. 4 years, spell that.

that proves, the dream wasn't just any ordinary dream.

maybe we chose to remember but maybe we believe that our other

half is the person in the dream, i do not know.

what i know was, it was never my intention to be in a relationship

with him, we were unsure of each other.

but by taking this step forward, to be together;

maybe it can spell another step closer to fulfilling the dream.

once i fulfill the dream, i dont mind if we have to go our seperate ways.

i swear ;( but has anybody put themselves in my shoes and stop

discriminating my decision? i know it's stupid but i chose this way.

i chose to stay stupid, and to believe in this.

(although i never believed he's my another half)

but i still love him dearly. yes baby, i still love you.

i knew i love you even before i met you.

celebration

2008-12-08T04:10:00.000-08:00

;sorry bad quality photos :( taken with my phone.

this is the photo for today; the rest with baobei.

hmmmpfts, here i am blogging at 8.15pm.

i just woke up from my nap 4 hours long nap.

bi stil haven't text me nor have i any news of him

ahhh, spell D-E-P-R-E-S-S-E-D :(

i ate a big plate of rice with i do not know what you call that,

and then i spread nutella on 2 breads and i finish em all:(

yes, today 2 and a half bar of chocolate again.

but hey, i made an improvement i only puffed 4 sticks today(:

say YYYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

yes the bitch, did it! maybe caus the weather's too cold.

okay, i had people telling me i looked like 19 years old today =.-

ahhh, and they're so obsessed about knowing my age.

c'mon, LOL. age is just a number right?

anyway, i feel that im fat already, i want to go do some lady marmalade dance.

hah! (random, i know)

okay, i havent touched my book for the whole of today.

that book ; ahhhh! crap =X so many bombastic words.

hmmfpts, i wonder if people judge my age due to my make up?

ahhh, that one i do not know; let me go find out now!

ciaos!

cut it short

2008-12-07T22:32:00.000-08:00

cut it short

baobei was late again, nevermind. this time the whole
family was late :( woke up late, later than expected.
partly because someone texted me and then i realised im freezing.
hah! cleaned my nails and then off to bathe and then reapply my
toe nail's coat then make up and then baobei came over.
as expected, she forgot to bring her thumbdrive :(
so pictures will hafto wait till wednesday together with today's photo.
today sucks, i rather not go :( thats why we're back so early.
realise my other family members went to kl and then the rest
was working, sleeping, busy doing their things =.-
and i still bloody take the effort to wear baju melayu altho it's
raining but nobody else did except baobei =.-
argggghh! went to supermarket then, hah! crocodile got sale (:
so bought a white top for bi~ heh, almost same same like the
one i wanted to get him in renoma. if he doesnt wants it,
then i'll use it (: H-O-T!
see the title up there? cut it short.
:( in no mood to blog, bi's not back yet i think?
no msges no online no whatever.
bye,

take your picture

2008-12-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

flesh and flash

yes,baby! tomorrow, first thing in the morning..
my bitch gonna come and pass me all the pics
for friday in her thumbdrive oiiii(:
this time, not as many scandalous shot.
definitely, not in the mood.
(pssssttt...the rest of the scandalous shot's still not with me)
hmmmpfffts, she didnt wants to pass me her-oh-so-solo-shots.
but goddamnit! i need them to do the darn scrap remember?
awwwww!(: she offered to lend me her dress and belt ;
for this coming very very very big event .
i know, thankiu bitch, but i might want to figure it out myself first.
see that?! that what's real girlfriends are for!
anyway am blogging this at 1.25am.
i rushed my bitch to sleep lest she's late tomorrow again!
then i start reading my book :( so CHIM, my gawddddd!
okay, this post is supposed to be a very very short one,
because it's supposed to be that way.
i'ma go puff and off to bed, earthlings!
wont blog tomorrow:( maybe?
ehk, kecoh lurh. okay, the petite princess need her
beauty rest now :( it's been a long time since a guy said that to me.
no; no guys text me this okay!(now)
used to.... but ..... haish. whatever!
goodbye you!

1 more day

2008-12-07T05:34:00.000-08:00

awwwwwww!
i'm back from work (: spell NO WORK TOMORROW!
hurrayyyy! hari raya haji spending at my aunty's crib.
not sure if i can catch bi online tomorrow:(
well work today was BORING, so little customer,
so little things to do. and my mp4 died on me
(forgot to charge), yes died on me like 30mins after i start work.
so bored, didnt bring the book didi borrowed from me.
hah, "any place i hang my hat" =.- love story.
shall bring it over to aunty's crib tomorrow,
i dread the idea of applying nail polish tomorrow morning after
bathe, wearing baju melayu, and entertaining kids!
OMFG =.- hah, but i HAVE to learn to like babies by next year.
: ( my new year resolution !
nieways, today send a tray over to the salon and then saw ahgong=.-
hah, this malay lady keep staring at me =.-
me: "i tell mak uh, you never go home after work"
ahgong: "dont say lei, i cut hair only"
LOL. this lady must be thinking why a malay would haf connection
with a pure chinese guy:X _!_ stare summore lurh.
so he keep pester me not to tell granny he went over,
couldn't be any bothered with him then off to work.
no; hibernating (: daddy dropped by, haiyo!
what's up with my life 2 most important guys dropping by on the same day?
HAH. daddy passed me school books money to pass to grann,
and then passed me $20 share with didi.
how nice is he? lol. he'll be coming next week; that means
my allowance should be enough for me to spend on my next outing(:
*psssssttttt.. that is if i save!*
bi's gna be back by tomorrow! awwwwwwww!
i dunno if he'll text me tho :( his phone got confiscated.
blame it on me ;(
uh, i need to go clean off my nail polish later.
wake up early tomorrow; bathe, manicure and then makeup.
*no puffing for tomorrow*
lazy lurhhh. still need to pack my bag, wear my killer heels. omg!
= blister and more blister.
should i not wear my heels? but; buy so expensive than wear twice only.
haiyo, plaster plaster, standby please!
didi's birthday coming already = 27 more days!
my gawdddd! i havent buy him any present yet :(
gna go out on the 29th with my bitch and casper & mok & didi
to get out school stuffs and then off to celebrate his birthday!
[T-O-W-N]
casper & mok getting him that 195++$ puma watch.
(the one with touch screen i think?)
:( unfair! but nevermind f480 2 more months, i'll wait!
then then im going to convince daddy to get me my levis watch.
(the one and only brand; he will get for me)
*smack on my head*
nevermind, i get MY DKNY WATCH MYSELF!(as if)
o.o i forgot to mention; i bumped onto royhan mustaffa and i forgot who.
is it mustaffa the name? cant remember.
i didnt make eye contact with anyone, i thought im going to be late for work,
in lazy mode, practically dragging my flops :(
then trance was still blasting my ear ; as usual( i want to sleep!)
then they keep shouting my name, i cant pretend i did not hear.
my gawdddd! turned, smiled and walk to them.
yadayada - aftermath, royhan asked for a handshake.
didnt make eye contact with them ; none!
then i realised im not the only pathetic one! muahahaha:D
they tak senonoh uh, at bus-stop roll ang hun!
haha! wear so smart then smoke ang hun (:
MY GAWDDDD!
today at work, was chatty. chat with my ladyboss.
about christmas, shopping,sentosa,her kids, new year.
awww! she's a mother of 3 ! my gawdd! i cant believe okay!
she got 3 son, and her figure is wee-weet!
NOT FAT, thin as me (: shorter than me a bit.
pretty ladyy oiii!
i cant even tell that she's 29, not say a mother of any!
okay, today is so the jiwang =.- 3 malay songs playing in my head.
why is it so? i do not know either, okay!
at least i dont miss bi that badly like the first day!
ooooohhhh! i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait for the rest of the pics!
i'm feeling crappy now, oh! dont worry, i feel crappy every night.
i gave up, i gave up, i gave up!
i gave up on shopping, i gave up on YOU, i gave up on my mother.
i miss mummy, but FUCK IT : (
i hate you, hate you, hate you ! get that clear in your head mummy!
you're never forgiven, not now not ever ! (might, if you apologise)
im not that bad okay! i wont disown you, but feel free to disown me!
caus i dont bloody care! =.-
i hate it, i hate you, i hate now! if i never helped you,
i wont hafto go thru all this, if i never has helped you, you wont have
all this! but you were never grateful, you never appreciated!
now TAKE THAT! arggghh! whatever, whatever, i cant be bothered!
hah, now i understand how much didi hate you, he hates you more than i do!
BUT YOU LOVE HIM MORE THAN ME. argggh! shaddup!
i got to go now, i can rants 101 things i hate about my mother.
nuisance=.- i am my brother's mother & sister!
so who not happy with my didi come find me lahh ehk!
BYE!

all road leads to rome

2008-12-06T20:23:00.000-08:00

all road leads to rome

i learnt from baobei;
if you go to italy, no matter what road you take,
as long as you never give up, you walk and walk...
you'll reach rome(:
(sorry the picture on top dont really match the title
;caus the picture for this title is with my bitch)
have you any idea, that wishes come true?
have you had any wishes that come true?
hah!" i wish i wish with all my heart "(phrase from a cartoon show)
....hmmmpts, why kaypo about my wish?
AHHHH! muahhaha:D
my wish is my dream to come true ; a real dream uh!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

(private)

i pluck up all my courage, all my determination;
i gave in my all.
i succeeded not seeking comfort in your messages to put
me to sleep, succeeded not seeing your picture.
to you, i chose not to forget. but i wont wanna live in
the past; i chose not to delete your msges,
i chose to only seek them when im all alone.
i didnt forget you nor forget what i promised.
you know who you are;
ps: i miss you

hush baby,

2008-12-06T05:28:00.000-08:00

i'm officially blogging here at 9.29pm :(
i just got back from work, and 'hush' is still on for me.
today work, sucks to the core.
left home at 5.20pm walked the longer route, caus i dont
wanna die early. as usual, another 2 guys tried to picked me up=.-
but im not interested, oooops! "i'm TAKEN,baby"
then it started to pour very heavily, so i gotta U-turn
and bump onto them again, to take a longer way so that
i wont get drenched as much :(
first thing i did was to order 'deer meat hor fun' from the tze char stall.
hah. $6.00 gone, but worth it lurh. NICE NICE VERY NICE!
sat with an uncle, i dont know him and am having my earpiece on,
with TRANCE blasting my ear =.-
then he started talking to me, asked me what i eating, how much...
and then goes like... " ya, deer meat very expensive hor.."
but this uncle, looks like ah pek to me =.- but he speaks very good
english (: hmmmm, today i realised many AHPEKS, can talk very
fluent english, very educated, very friendly & nice!
i managed to finish up the whole big plate of deer meat hor fun.
MUAHAHAHA:D all on my own! include some of the veges!
awwwwww! i'm a grown up now(:
so proud of myself! puffing aftermath.
and then start work :(
i got scolded by MR POON _!_
ninabei, customer say soup never say is my soup right.
ccb, i so good help the duno who clear her plate, and is her soup.
better be glad if not the customer FCKING COMPLAIN UNTIL
YOU LOSE YOUR JOB ! =.-
respect, for you no more! don't think you old, can bully me :(
wait till, i complain to granny! make sure she kan you kan til you siao!
PUAH CHEE BYE, BUEY SONG ASK MY BOSS FIRE ME LAHH!
hah! then make me sad, :( everyone knows i cant get scolded
worst still, screamed at; sure cry !
but this time, i didnt cry . maybe caus i've grown up?!!
but still very sad, not my fault what.
hmmmpfts, made me miss bi even more. read his msges, felt very
comforting (: especially one of this sent long long time ago:
"asl bi u nanges uh?blang i luh jgn sembunyi kan"
haha! make me laughs. i still miss him, but everytime i touch,
my phone, his face appear ! muahahah! then i'll start laughing.
very comical, VERY <333
ummm, then then.. daddy dropped by:(
was in sleeping mode, still trance blasting my ear
(fyi: i listen trance to sleep)
he saw my bracelet and say "wah baby is your name"
LOL=.- then i go like " ohoh, he knows my name now"
then he say "people ask you come work, you like want to die like that"
me: "hello, 15 mr mins finsih work alr, summore nothing to do lah dey"
damn, he went to the fruit stall, bought i dunno how many longans.
and then brought a plastic bag, sat next to me and distribute =.-
ask me bring go home. i was like "huh? you want me to carry that?"
ARGGGGGGHHHHHH! my gawd!
when he left, i started eating the longan on my own.
and before he left he went around telling everyone im his daughter,
and asked if we looked alike =.- (his friend was laughing)
while me giving that si-bei-sian kind of face, and almost falling asleep.
didi came and fetched me, i realised i spend so much today again:(
always like that, at least i didnt buy cigs!
i bought my topup card(havent topup), standby only!
so if bibibi(: start msging me then i can text him. awwwwwww!
talib syg asked me to call him later, caus im bored.. & missing my bf.
he said if i talked to him, then i wont miss my boyfren.
ahhhh, cam paham jekh=.-
hmmmpft, off to send bi a long long long offline msg.
and rant ! yes, that's what i do last night.
ummmpft, POOF!
BYE!

the magic makeups makes!

2008-12-06T00:11:00.000-08:00

the magic makeups makes!

SO... YOU CAN TELL, before fully make up and after(:

then you'll know how magical can makeups be!

(those pictures above are not edited)

then, you'll realise how important it is to buy makeups,

get the expensive ones..and NOT put make ups for the sake of putting.

a tip for my fellow readers;

BRONZER does magic!

haha, i've this bobbi brown bronzer(i think can last me at least 3 mths)

i taught baobei how to apply bronzer on face.

first follow the T line, forehead down your nose bone,

and then your chin. followed by highlighting your face.

that means apply bronzer using A brush following your face bone,

the sides(: then apply some bronzer above your cheekbone.

bronzer is necessary because it helps you sharpen your features,

therefore when you take pictures, you'll look more (idk how to explain)

LOL. baobei told me bronzer can actually makes you look more bustier.

if you apply bronzer on your bosom line, then middle one (cant remem,

what's its called) =.- in the middle of your breasts.

wahhh! and then you can apply, many parts(: sadly,

it only works for the upper body.

that's all for today folks!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

now, i'm having a headache, from forcing myself to wake up

from my nap to bloody use the computer :(

then i wont feel so sleepy afterwards at work.

i'ma go eat before i go to work, granny's cookings today not to

my liking and i said i wont go on a diet anymore to boyfieeeee.

AHHH! hungryyyyyyyy:(

still listening to hush, haha! i've so much i planned to do, but

am to lazy to start becaus firstly, im tired secondly, im hungry.

i need to do something about my hair, F-A-S-T!

the curls, not going the right way :( i'm lazy to bloody do my hair.

o.o anyway, i've made up my mind, to save every single cent!

yes, save! because i need to buy more makeups.

i realised my makeups are so OUT. my gawdddd!

and every single set i see is 100$ not includind the brushes!

and i'm going to go treat myself to back therapy by end of next year.

now, i'm feeling the urge to get things going my way.

i'm feeling SO ADULT NOW! (in fashion sense and all)

i need a new concept for everything, i dont wanna go with the flow.

god, nobody knows what im talking about, except my bitch.

HAHA! conclusion; ITS A GOOD START!

okay, please make way.. the big fat baby hafto go now!

goodbyes, earthlings!

if it isn't you

2008-12-05T07:31:00.000-08:00

if it's isn't you

yes, awfully i miss bi :(
i cant not blog about this very moment, i'm sneezing hard.
i wonder if bi misses me too, but i don't think so :(
but if it isn't him then who?
my nose's blocked now, my tears just rolled down my cheek.
} from sneezing too hard and so many times.
my back and arms hurts so much; sun burn:(
but worth it, for my tan line!
anyways, i forgot to mention... me & baobei did sand therapy on our own!
yes, i told baobei what granny told me.
*secret.....shhhhhh!!!!*
im listening to LL cool j- hush(:
yes, practically im very OUT, very sentimentel sort.
i miss jazz, :( but i dunn haf a particular fav song so i could find any.
my mp4's song is so out. i hafto do something FAST!
yes, if not... i wont have the drive to do all i wanted to!
to me, life is fine now! but if i really wanna do anything big, things
MUST be perfect (: (as in the essentials)
i need a shopping spree, FAST! my closet is so limited:(
i know, stop reminding me that i always wear th same old clothes
when im out, caus my wardrobe is really pathetic!
anyway, today my bitch asked if i can stayover her house (whenever)
as in SLUMBER PARTY, for just t-w-o!
oh my oh my, im so excited.. when, i do not know yet!
it's just so fun being with her(:
she takes my mind off everything, inspire me to inspire others!
back back, im going to start saving now.. so by the 29th or 26th,
i can go on a mini shopping spree! on my own or not, i dont care!
i'm PERFECTLY fine shopping on my own(:
then i going to start saving again, for another shopping spree on FEB (:
as a birthday gift from me to myself!
and then save all the way till JUNE ! GSS !
OH MY OH MY! i dont know if i will make it, having N's :(
but, i must MAKE IT! bet, there's sponsors again!
okay now! i'm off to read my very expensive mag, and then off to
update my financial status in my diary planner plus update my shopping list.
byebye,
i miss bibibi!(:

I can feel ya pain
Like we siamese twins connected by our brains
Walkin thru the desert in the ice cold rain
Want u in my life and nothins gonna change
God willin, we still be doin our thang

5dec

2008-12-05T05:47:00.000-08:00

(the first day)

today, as expected my bitch woke up late. VERY LATE.

while the very good "ME" was on the com until 10.30.

and we're supposed to meet at 10.45=.-

i keep spamming her phones (both hp & house phone)

for goodness sake, she still didnt wake up:(

bathed, packed, make up.(will show you pics bef. & aft make up tmr)

OKAY. so yes, busu very kind heartedly, ride me there(motor).

to my bitch house, caus she finally wake up at 11.30=.-

took her address, went to her crib.knocked the door until

i almost die =.- haiyoyo! i slacked in her room, while

waiting for my dear bitch to get ready & yadayada.

needed to puff urgently, and so luckily.. she asked me to puff at

her balcony (: awwwww! sweetest girlfriend!

and her balcony is big, i tell you! enough to fit a queen size bed,

or 3 people doing yoga or for 2 to dance(:

while waiting for her, i browse thru her mags. sat on her bed.

when she's done we cabbed to ECP, then i realised that

i cant withdraw my money (lazy to explain).

so kind of her to lend me first (:

bought mac, sat on a bench with table by the beach eating..

before deciding where we wanna settle for.

(bitch : first time i have a friend who eats before taking off her clothes,

all my friends don't eat for a day before the day they go to the beach)

HAH. pathetic, im not like them! i have what they dont(:

[my very very very impressive figure =.-]

settled somewhere by the beach yes! beach, on the beach.

took off our clothes, straight after i put on my sunblock.

essential for me, bitch! reapply make-up, lip care & lip gloss.

put on the shades, blast the mp4, camwhore, and off for nap.

practically many people staring and bitching bout us.

HAH. who cares? baobei said : "TODAY IS A WHO-CARES-BOUT-US, DAY"

then we pout and give that mean face and "KE-CHIKK"

take photo, :( sadly i dont have any of her photos..

as usual will get in a week or two.

we stare at people who stares at us.

many kind, banglahs, aunties uncles, youngsters, girlfriends who

stared at us and then the boyfriend joined in too, lesbians,

butches, foreigners 0.o?

my GAWWWWWWD! we even thought of taking off out bikini and

do the full back kind of tan, as in for the back part only=.-

but no, wearing bikini in ECP already looks like so O-B-S-C-E-N-E

yes, spell that! camwhore 100 over all with her :(

sun tann, damn! there's this few parts when i totally cant take the heat,

i excused myself to puff in the shade on a bench,

then it really feels like you're torturing yourself in HELL.

but for the sake of saving money, and natural tan :(

we realise it's so hard to get tanned (tan line).

me: "hey,im not supposed to do this okay!im the princess"

baobei: "yes, princesses goes to TANNING PARLOUR"

awwwwwwww! it hurts okay, we lay there for more than 4hours,

to get the tan line we have now(: hmmmpfts, so proud!

we did went in the sea this time(: HOT HOT, NICE.

we goes like: "ahhhhhhhh!wahhhhhh!"

LOL. very very very nice shot we had !

(skip details, too lazy to say)

then at 6 plus, we went off (:

off to shower and change. practically many people look at us.

bitch: "i felt like we're parading in bikinis"

HAH. my gawdddddd!

rinsed, realise we got no plastic bags to put our bikini and wet towel.

make-up. felt so "HMMMMFPTS" yes, because i didnt bring my

blusher, my eye shadow & eyeliner:(

i washed my face like nobody business when i rinsed myself

;forgetting that i had my make-ups on:(

but luckily, the eyeliner still intact (: HAHA!

while applying make-ups this few malay girls, and 1 chinese girl

keep staring at us. prolly, we're too noisy. or they just wanna

learn a tip or two on make up (me teaching my bitch how to apply...)

bitch: (say out loudly) STARE STARE,HAIYA NEVERMIND LET YOU STARE

WHAT YOU HAVE I ALSO HAVE =.-

my gawdddd! (refering to the chinese lady)

haiyos, so direct :XX hurting y' know.

taught my bitch, how to apply bronzer, where to do what ...

and the malay girls keep staring at us .

haiyohs! i know i look old and matured, dont need like that.

or maybe i too H-O-T =.- i cant fit into my flesh imp skirt(nicely)

FAT , IS ME. ME IS FAT :(

I really cant stand people staring at me :(

they make me feel like something is wrong sumwhere..

my bitch : am i too fat or what?

me: is my bra sticking out?

HAH. lol. still got many stupid question we asked ourselves.

*skip skip*

bought a damn 6$+ magazine caus i just wanted a plastic bag:(

cabbed to hub, payed my bitch. off to seperate ways,

on the way home.. saw ernest, sent him to bus-stop.

talked, 3 normal topics; gang, class & tattoo

LOL. happy for him that he passed & will be joining us next year in sec4(:

glad he changed his mindset already. chiong ar chiong!

MUAHAHHA:X

okay now, i donno what to say. not in the mood to say anything.

my boyfie's out of town :( DAMN!

hah, LOL. it's okay, im fine.. VERY.

work's tmr, sian.

& i puffed so little today, so proud of myself (:

GOODBYE YOU!

1st day :(

2008-12-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

1st day :(

okay, am blogging here at 9.25am plus plus.
my god, baobei's still not awake :( we're supposed to
meet at 10.45 and she havent packed and whatever.
(me too lurh) the thought of bibibi already left singapore,
haish.. spells L-O-N-E-L-Y!
im pissed im tired, i dont know if today outing ever work out.
we're deciding hard between beach & town.
but the most obvious fact during our conversation last night
was we're both moody :(
now, i'm done spamming her house phone & hp.
let's see, poor thing i couldnt really remember what level she lives at.
i'ma take my time get ready, if by then she's not awake,
i'm so bloody gna take the bus to her house, & WAIT FOR HER
UNDER HER BLOCK :( it's not the first time anyway.
haiyooos!
the only sad thing is that, no bf to accompany me text like the last
beach outing. i'm off, before i really explode noW!

1 MORE DAY

2008-12-04T00:19:00.000-08:00

SPELL 1 ; O-N-E
hah, yes pathetically 1 more day to me going out
with my bitch (beach or town,let the weather choose)
and bibibi's off for KL together with danny oiii!
(& their family lur)
=.- hmmmpfts, i realise i've matured a lot.
NOT that matured(looks) lur! as in my thinkings(:
this morning, went to market never expect to see so many
people that i know. razif or razul? hah, idk which one is which,
saw one of them with his girlfriend, walked past the block they
slack, i do not know what he doing with his gf on him on a chair=.-
didnt realise it was him, but the only thing i know is the girlfriend,
said something and stare at me. cant be any bothered.
everyone's staring at me :( pffffts, yes again!
uncles, auntys, driver ( hah, one even turn to look at me while
riding his bike & the guy behind him also), youngsters.
awwww! make me feel so HOT. LOL. just hate the idea.
anyway, i saw venson;erzi, ivane;kor, jj, nurhakim, hakim, susu.
LOL. yes, everyone was practically staring at me=.-
i do not know why, cant be bothered.
maybe they're shocked that i'll be up so early and go to the market.
this morning, i couldnt wake up. but i dragged my feets, i feel like sleeping.
got home, quarrel with arthur yes over ($) and gang.
went online, chat with bi and danny, and kaixuan and i cant remember who.
lunch time, i realise that i had this "thang" for fried chicken wings!
(home cooked- marinate with sesame oil)
awwww! the last time i ate chicken wings before my eating disorder
was the raya outing with my primary school friends(:
went to ckigu zarina house, told them im on diet but..
damn! it's like as if there's this tag on top saying : "EAT ME,PLEASE?!"
ohh no, soft spot.. i'll go like : "YESSSSSS!I'M COMING....."
hah, then without realising i ate 7 chicken wings!
my goodness! AJ and all were going like:
"hey, i thought you're on diet?!diet konon!abeh makan 7 chicken wing!"
then he said so loud the rest were liek "waahhhhhh!"
=.- i know, they cant stop teasing me :(
today granny fried chicken wings, again.. i didnt realise i ate 7 of them.
yes, 7! i could go on, when granny stopped me (:
good thing, at this rate i'll grow fat, FAT. (not obese okay!)
now, the good thing is i get back my appetite..
caus every food i see seems like they're telling me "EAT ME,BABY!!"
YEAHHHH... IM COMING DARLING!!
(i sounded so gay)
while poor bitch, having a hard time losing weight :(
everyday she ran around the park near her home, 2 rounds.
=.- damn, i can never do that!
everytime she feels like giving up, she'll imagine that finish line
is the "SKINNY LINE" so she'll chiong ar chiong!
HAHAH. practically laughing awayy!!
hope tomorrow's weather will be sunny! oh, ima go check on yahoo.
haha, that's how crazy i can ever be.
fyi; i just finish mugging 2 topic (not chapter uh)
at least, improvement okay! im proud of ME.
i found the joy of mugging now! hah, like real :(
but see, i gta work forward my goal y' see.
okay now, enough crapping...
i love bibibi(:
LOL.
ciaos!

resize

2008-12-03T06:09:00.001-08:00

goddamn it yes, :( i know you know i havent talked
to my boyfriend for the whole of TODAY!
damn, yes i didn't upload all the other photo:(
baobei didnt really bring the USB, caus her very good friend
has not used it tho. and then her friend transfer the photo,
to a thumbdrive and guess what? so many photo is missing.
while me is pissed off now, having to resize my photo :(
and so much more to resize, i felt like a bitch now.
1 more day to 2 weeks.
2 more day to .....
argggh, i've got to stop this counting thing.
well, i mugged today (sort of) prepared my notes..
(i damn wrote my own notes)
did f&n but before i even complete CHAPTER 1, my eyes
just hafto close :( guessed i woke up too early today.
so off i went to sleep till baobei text me says she's coming.
and i didnt really realise my phone was ringing =.-
i thought someone on my mp4 :(
HAHA. my very moronic brother thought so too!
yesterday, i wrote my 2009 new year resolution,
accompanied by my nonsensical SHOPPING LIST.
&& wish list .. plus my things to do (AGENDA)
hah, DAMN NONSENSICAL i tell you:X
but i realised, i've not done face mask for more than 3 months :(
i've not went on a huge shopping trip before.
and many many more...
i feel like killing myself for not resisting indulgence.
yes, 3 days ago i start eating 2 bar of choc, yesterday 3..
today 4, GODDAMNIT FOUR, (SPELL IT)
:( i'm so gonna grow fat, now im craving for kfc.
been like.. 2 months since i last ate kfc.
ARTHUR has not return my money, mummy has not gave me
my money as promised :(
currently texting bestieKU (:
hah.. oh danny hope i'm online tomorrow=.-
errrrmmm, i do not know why;
i dont really know him and i've nothing much to say to him
besides the topic about MY BOYFRIEND(:
hahahahaha.
CASHMERE MAFIA is now on my screen.
guess what? my BROTHER is watching it, not me.
LOL. fanatic huh? i guess he likes drama a lot.
he watched like 3 drama today=.-
aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!
im going crazy, without you here baby!
;somehow this song just randomly play in my head.
i do not understand why i feel like mugging everytime im tired.
and end up sleeping, but be proud; I PICKED UP MY PEN!
yes, i actually start writing = i did not lost my writing sense.
i guess i'll turn in early today after another daily bitch talk,
gotta go to the market early tomorrow (:
ULTIMATE X GOOD + GIRL = ME(:
yes, granny's working tomorrow thus ima got to go to the market.
friday is coming... coming.. coming... OMFG :(
that's = 1 day left with bi.
heh, none of his nonsence for 3 days yes 3.. i think?
glad my bitch gna spend the first miserable day with me.
& saturday , sunday my mind's gna be occupied with work.
and bestie gta accompany me (:
dunno if royce will come down and fine me... awwwww!
my confession:
i bought a pack of ciggs :(
because the ang hun i roll myself sucks and gimme
soar throat =.- too thick already, not thin,
and and some bo kick :(
GOODNESS SAKE!
byebye, i'ma go find some food to stuff myself!

picture talks!

2008-12-03T03:44:00.000-08:00

; kisses are appreciated!

; when she's all i could ever ask for(:

; there goes my bitch, staring at my figure AGAIN!

;NO NO, we didnt plan this! i swear !

;idk she took a picture of me =.-

;pictures are illusive

; my bitch love my figure yo!

; BEST SHOT (:

bitch's originality

; no no, not seducing

;what's with that face, bitch?

; CANDID

; how nice is the view? (VERY!)

;WHEN BOREDOM STRIKES

;sunn tanning yo!

; the one i'll grow old & saggy with

; tilt you head to the left, you'll see a heart shape(:

; awwww! GAGA

; the ugly back i talked about?

HAH. baobei trying to prove how pretty permed hair is

;deear's gifts to us (: blue dolly's mine!

she said it resembles us!

; my courage & strength

;bitch shot

; saw the wallet above the pink box?

HAH & my presents!

; the PRESENTS (:

the wrapped present with red heart is mine from baobei.

(forever21 wallet cum clutch in pink!)

chat with danny

2008-12-03T01:08:00.000-08:00

my chat with danny (1/2 only)

**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
really
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
im nt sure...
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
but i knoe that me n his family goin to kl this fridae morning
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
yes i know. you going also?!!
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
yahh...y?
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
oh nothing, just take good care of him. and and you all gna be back by monday morning rigth..
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
right*
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
yeahh baby
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
u are right
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
how u knoe?
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
hah. okay! HELLO, im his girlfriend =.- shouldn't i know some details?
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
hahahahaha\
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
okok
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
heyy i gtg....
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
sure thing! tata!
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
i hope tmr ur onlinee...
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
yea ! see ya(:
**DANNY the Guy Next Door** says:
takkee caree
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
takinq care you!(:

HAHAHAHA=.-
how cute is the both of them? LOL.
just chat with danny, on msn of caus!
LOL. the first few missing part was about me asking him,
where is his bestie cum my boyfriend.
:(( havent talked to him for the whole day,yet!
and i dont think he came online today either.
and he didn't text me too!
okay, im feeling crappy now(dont ask why).
baobei's on her way here...
yesyes, ima go fetch her now! so blogg laterrrrrrrr(:
hope bi's online later. awwwww!
goodbye yous!

if i miss you

2008-12-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

IF I MISS YOU

okay, 1 more days to 2 weeks with my beloved boyfriend(:
2 more days to another beach outing with my bitch,
and then bi's off to KL :(
so he said if i misses him got to his friendster=.-
(got a lot of his picture)
yes, i know dear. but thank god, i had his photo printed
& laminated just nice in my wallet, and countless
of his photo in my phone(:
HAHA!
that spells 17 more days to our first monthsary.
26 more days to APITO's birthday !
22 more days to getting $150(LOL)
12 more days to my next allowance from daddy:D
3 more days to work :(
HAHAH, bi is gna be back my monday's morning.
and and im so proud i had to spend the first miserable day
of bi not being with me (lol, actually not talking to me)
with my bitch by the beach.
i'm so gna stuff myself with CHOCOS.
looking forward to taking more picture, or bi's sake!
baobei is gna come later after her drum lesson,
prolly in the evening. i hafto go off soon :(
my brother gna hog the computer again!
and bi's not online :( so i dont get to talk to him.
awwwwww! yes, sadly.
had a nice (texting) chat with my bitch last night.
feeling all guilty that i got her aneroxic while i stuff
myself with endless chocolates =.-
and trying to persuade and tell her how much i love her
like this, she dont hafto lose any weight or yadayada.
I BITCH YA, BITCH!
muahahah:D
hmmmmpfts, granny cooked chicken rice:X
ehkk, and we're her guinea pig, partly becaus baobei's coming.
haiyoyo!
tsk tsk tsk. i promised to start mugging today.
to make me like mugging more, ima start with F&N.
(what is short-crust pastry?)
yes, pathetic. ooooh!
i'm in love, i'm in love, i'm in love!
i know bi will say like "siao uh?"
LOL. random,
i'm excited for friday beach outing, but i dreads friday :(
becaus that spells the day that bi's so gna go KL .
heh, ya!
and now, im pathetic than ever.
my very very very lovable busu did not roll the damn ang hun for me.
so i hafto roll myself.
i hate it lur, i roll then the kick is damn kao(thick) one.
summore, i roll NOT NICE. yes, can smoke can already.
enjoying my every puff (:
ciao for now!

you + me = us

2008-12-02T03:12:00.000-08:00

bibibi(: said it's nice oiii!

tell me it's nice isn't it?

LOL. had a nice time chatting with bibi (texting).

yes, as usual i always made him mad :(

but never fails to coax him oiii!(:

he must be loving me :XX

okay, goodbye now!

resistance is futile

2008-12-02T00:51:00.001-08:00

WELL WELL WELL(:
i'm back, i know this is my 3rd post for the day!
bi's off to watch his ben10; awwww! so cute!
went to buy some essentials, and then cant get granny's
orbit chewing gum :( caus the pharmacy is close.
haha!the nearest pharmacy is at j8.
no crazy, definitely i did not go to j8 lur.
my usual casual outfit, my grey top with grey hotpants,
no didnt wear my flops, used my giovanna flat clogs.
(lazy mode; practically dragging my feet)
no make up ons! not even foundation and loose powder.
still, i do not understand why people keep staring at me.
ohoh, i bring my cotton on environmental tote! lol.
stuff all my bought things in it (:
I HATE STALKERS! good grief, of all things to be,
why inspire to be a stalker?!
=.- cant understand people nowadays.
and and typical mat reps wannabe =.- sad sad, to see..
so young wanna be mat reps, and even try to hook girls up.
EH HELLO; PLEASE OPEN YOUR BIG EYE,
IM OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR OLDER SISTER, DONT
TRY TO HOOK ME UP, CAUS IT NEVER WORKS!
(p.s: i hate people who ask for numbers and kenal2 on the street)
pssssst...i saw a few of my schoolmates, i bet they gna bitch about me,
like ; eeeee, she wears so minah or what shit.
having bad hair day, amazing i didnt even style my hair,
and to me i look like a mother of 2 :(
yes, the minah-lian tak menjadi .
HAHAH! no joking*shy*
anyway, what is wrong with wearing a body hugging
top, when you have got the figure?
what is wrong with walking with confidence?
hello; my mummy taught me to walk like that!
:( caus if i don't and is she saw me, she's so gna scream at me !
yes, sorry but true my mummy cares very much about
this confidence kind of thing.
and my body shape; yes the stupid S shape...
is controlled by mummy since young FYI.
my bitch knows why :(
kay enough says!
now, i just hate people staring at me. but what shoud i do?
hey, c'mon you'll never find me clad in long sleeve shirt or t-shirt
yes t-shirt and idk what shorts in central okay!
goodness you!
and is it guy's nature to stare at girl's bosom?
or bitch about how big their bosom is with their friends?
GOODNESS, c'mon guys you're only how old lahh.
whistling and your pick up line is so "OUT"
tsk tsk, fancy picking someone who looks dunno how old
older than you, shameless!
hah! enough of ranting, im off to text BI (:
awwww! i act like im 20years old. that's OLD

for good

2008-12-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

i've just woke up:( and pop, im here in front of the computer!
yes, i've not bathed. i felt like lazing around, and off to bed.
muahahaha:D but nahh, ima good girl(:
after this, ima go buy some essentials and then go lepak!
hah, yes. it's been 9876543210days (thats exaggerating).
okay, lets see, i've not hang around ever since school's close.
yes, you know my daily routine after school, is just slacking.
yes, i miss the whole bunch of cliques(different).
and how touching it is, when they sponsors you ciggs.
HAHA! so yes... i'm still thinkinghard if i should go get my
diary planner later or not :( maybe not..
i dont need it now anyway. yes, save money!
hmmmptfs. chatted with bestieKU yesterday, (text).
he asked me to find him a suitable nick name =.-
LOL. tell him, so late at night where can think, otak jam
brain juice not flowing. hah, so he says i like to make him laugh,
so late at night ! lol.
nieways, IS.. don't worry about ahboy again okay?
like what i told mamy, he's old enough to think.
he's 17 for goodness sake! you know i know, he can survive
out there on his own. i already said:
"you say one time, say two time... third time just say "K qo!,
jangan nak menyakitkan hati orang !"
just let him ti ti kia long dio piah(walk straight,bang the wall)
when he bang enough already, he'll wake up and whether
he wan to turn left, turn right or gostan, not our problem.
caus by then, he will know what is right for him.
at most let him, bang till he got concussion and DIE.
bitch is so upset, she couldn't call me last night.
but she needs to talk to me badly. so she texted me.
i felt like im a loghead, this few days i sleep, zi tao cant feel
my phone vibration. yes, i felt so bad.. not being there for you people.
okay, so i need to start mugging already.
yesterday tried to do the sudoku, and found out, im stuck!
damn, brain juice not flowing (night time lur).
ummmm, yes. i cant complete the easiest thing:(
well nieways, bitch coming over tmr with the photos! and
i'll be so excited (: yesyesyes! i need tuh go and print pictures.
GOODNESS SAKE!
okay ima go do my things now!
gone with the wind!
WOOOOOSH!

4th post of the day

2008-12-01T03:31:00.000-08:00

okay, i know im getting crazier.
(fyi: this is my fourth post of the day)
crazy AUNTY, if she hadn't screamed her lungs out,
i bet i'll still be sleeping away =.-
goodness, cant you tell that the house is so dark and arggggh!
waking up at 7pm when i slept at 4+,5 :(
and now, my bloody headache is here.
anyway, i realise i cant remember things that take place,
recently but i cant remember things from the past =.-
if im going to continue like that, N level must study now..
remember later , if not last minute study..
OTAK JAMM (i know i sounds like bi now,)
well, the highlights of the week :
1.wednesday evening : my bitch will be here together
with HER camera & USB(aiyoyo,) to bloody transfer
all the photos for the other day to my computer(:
yes, excited. bet bi's more excited.
nieways, the photos i have now is considered very DECENT alr.
the photos in her camera can fits in these categories;
scandalous,seductive,stupid,innocent,lame and....
(for us to know for you to find out)
goodness! i dont know if i should ever upload all of them.
you know bitches do their things (:
but but, i realise i used to be very shy whenever someone
flashes a camera in public wanting to take photo.
but with my bitch, all else doesnt really matters.
with her around, nothings is impossible.
look stupid? we'll look together, feel stupid?we'll feel together.
my bitch of 4 years coming 5 . im proud of her.
well well :( im hungry now, i wished i hadn't woke up.
now i gotta go think what to make for myself.
i hate cooking =.- (dont ask me y i chose f&n)
tsk tsk tsk.. i know i've lost touch of the topic i start with.
lets continue...
2. town with my bitch and then to the beach .
yes, beach again:( but bi thinks its a good either,
rather have me at the beach then town, shopping my every
penny away. =.- ya i know, boys will always be boys.
town for baobei to get her new bikini.
should i get one too? caus mine fits me just nice.
and it's a present from mummy:(
or should i get a monokini? but i wont like monokini's
tan line =.- its much more of a swimming costume to me.
no c&k sandals :( no shopping :(
just the monokini or bikini then cab off to ECp.
yes again, friday.. will there be like more than usual people?
ahhhhh, hack. we dont wana go sentosa, having people staring at us.
we'll be contented enough, placing our beach mats ON
ecp's sand right in front of the beach and sun the tan on!
EHH I KNOW I CRAPPING, JUST READ OKAY!
i wanna eat beef ball noodles now :(
RANDOM BUT AWWWWWWW!
no noodle, rice please? i realise i dont eat noodles.
hmmmm, beef kway teow sounds nice.
but no, saving moolahs = eat at home OR starve yourself.
tsk tsk tsk.
i dont miss bi, i dont think he misses me too!
muahahahah:D dont know what is there to miss,
when we havent even met each other =.-
but,i do miss his nonsence okay!
& did i say? i was pranked by him 3 times today!
awwwww! like small kid, cute but true!
imma go off now ladies and gentleman.
be back tomorrow. i wont be blogging as much like
this again. and i realise its already dec.
and as i said that imma go stuck my ass in front
of those books and swifts my pen=.-
but i havent done any of those, i seriuosly need a BOOK.

convo with hubbyku

2008-11-30T23:42:00.000-08:00

aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
ghurhphanginandbabypoahsow r
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
carik2..
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
nmpk?
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
carik pe?
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
ghurhphanginandbabypoahsow r
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
dpt carik???
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
carik ape?
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
werds.............................
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
anginandbaby, niek?
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
ah........

how cute can he be?
LOL.

} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
tak pernah org buat cam tu to baby taws(:
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
angin crerative per
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
ye, angin kan different from other guys (:
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
yesh2
} BABY♥ANGIN lur siol <333 says:
hah, syg you !
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
yey!
aNgIn ToniQ and BabY..lahh SioLL says:
syg u jugak luhs

LOL (:
never fails to bake a smile out of me.
ILOVEYOU LURR!
; bi's off to soccer court to play soccer,
while im going to puff and off to bed yo!
YES THE ROYALTY NEEDS HER ROYAL REST
(awwwwww!; bullshit)
(c'mon my 3rd post of the day, obviously im bored to death)

CONCERN

2008-11-30T22:29:00.000-08:00

okay fine, this is my 2nd post for the day.
bi's off to lunch, bestie is so high now, sistarhs all
out and away, bitch having netball (i think?),
and the rest....(hais, i do not know what to say)

LIFE,
life is short and unpredictable.
people tends to say the person you're gna
marry to tends to be the person you DO NOT REALLY LOVE.
have you heard of that before?
i heard of it from someone.
haven't we all played away our life away, enough?
like i said, nobody dies a virgin, becaus in the end
LIFE FUCKS US ALL. (pathetic but true)
havent you see enough of all this?
havent you know what is right and wrong for you?
what's up with people taking drugs?
haven't you know whats the ending?
havent you got sick of it?
havent you know where it'll ends you up?
firstly, dont think "GUM" is mild.
it's never mild. it'll deteriorate your thinkings,
and for goodness sake if you do not actually know.
you can die from sudden sniffing (idk what shit).
but the main thing im tryna bring up here is, you can DIE.
yes just die like that, while sniffing.
havent you know that people thought they could fly,
when they sniffs gums?
and where do they end up? lying under your block,
DEAD.
CAUS THEY FLY THEIR WAY DOWN!
havent you know how pathetic is this all?
i mean, you'd think you've seen enough of th world or what?
have you ever try to see how beautiful Taj Mahal is?
have you see the lives of the poors?
have you experience being rich for a day?
and pop, you wanna end your life.
i dont think its funny, seriously.
i mean, yes you might think i'll be stupid and crapping.
then people will go like :
"eh then why baby still smokes?"
you know?you dunno so just shaddup.
you wont die all of the sudden without knowing why, from smoking.
you wont die instantly from puffing overly.
this is my life, and i chose it to be this way.
cant you tell hard that im trying to cut down?
=.-
anyway back to drug.
do you know that drug doesnt only harms you, but the person
around you? yes, both mentally and physically.
let me smack some sense into you.
take me for an example, if you think "ICE" is fun or cool.
let me tell you it's NOT.
what's about "ice" that will harm other people, beside the takers?
if you notice, my back, have a lot of dots and (idk what you call them).
it doesnt hurts, but it gets itchy some time.
this story of someone playing "ICE" in my house was a long
long time ago, but this thing is stuck with me FOR MY WHOLE LIFE.
ITS BEEN MORE THAN 5 YEARS NOW.
and i hafto live with it, damn! but true.
it's not nice, i cant wear tube, no corsets, no bikini.
(but i hack lur)
see.. tsk tsk tsk.
im not the bloody one who's playing the bloody thing but i got
that bloody thing on my back=.- it's a scar to me.
do you know that you can actually get violent when you
take drugs? do you know you can do things that you dont mean to?
do you know during all these process, someone else can get hurt?
CM'ON STUFF ALL THESE IN YOUR BRAIN NOW!
do you know, the money you used to buy all these
drugs is your parents hard-earned money?
[dont push this question to me, i use my own hard earn money ok!
; to buy my ciggs NO DRUGS!]
so practically, drug leads you to TWO place
1. PRISON, RTC, BOYS /GIRLS HOME
2.7 FEET UNDERGROUND UNDER YOUR TOMBSTONE
(death)

^^ common sense.
nieways, i just got back from lunch and my brain juice not
flowing so i cannot remember the whole bunch of
bullshit i was thinking just now:XX
so, main point is PLEASE DO NOT DESTROY YOUR LIFE,
BESTIEKU!
aiyoyo, all that i can say i already say..
the next time, i wont crap anymore about all this to you..
i'll just say "K, qo!" tu jekhh
i found out many unpleasant news,
so disheartening ( but doesnt really concerns me)
i had some( a few) matters that is bugging me,
deep inside, badly :(
i dont wanna tell anyone, dont wanna confide.
dont wanna hear the ugly truth !
not avoiding okay, is just CHOSE not to hear.
and deep down i already knew.
life is beautiful ; HAH BULLSHIT!
TELL YOU WHY NEXT TIME.
SAYONARA (:

i stay in love

2008-11-30T20:41:00.000-08:00

Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

yesterday was another important day to me(:
when i took a different than usual route to work,
i found this blue marble table & U shape chair, next to
a childcare/nursery with the place to park ur bicycles.
yes, i remembered that was the place in my dream
a few days after i found my dreamboy, i had this dream.
(for me to know,for you to find out)
practically i earned myself another bestie!
IRFANIRFANIRFAN; bestieKU(:
don't be disheartened,irfan! baby is very understanding.
i dont care that you're a year younger than me.
im not that arrogant type of bitch, maybe thats why everyone likes me!
Laughs Out Loud.
was chatting with bi half the time, texting and texting.
overall i'm happy now(:
work was exhausting, very.
went home, rant again at my bitch.
in the afternoon she asked so what's our plan for the
coming Friday, shopping?
hahaha, not funny. how can i go shopping when all my
other planned is screwed? how can i go shopping when
daddy halved my allowance? how can i go shopping when
SOME people havent pay me back my money?
and so much more is on my shopping list.
LOL. she asked me is "the" STONE is my priority
on friday. =.-
me : "stone?what stone?since when i got a stone in my
shopping list?"
realised it was that ring from heroic rendezvous.
$103.++
GOODNESS SAKE!
so we was thinking at night to forgo the ring and save a bit more
instead to get the DKNY watch (:
$185.00 siol.
dont have the 12-1 thing..
just the hour & minute hand and teh work DKNY .
LOL. wtf? guess even more worst, haha
*inside joke* (lazy to type and translate)
she was doing an essay on "marriage"
and she asked me for points =.-
me: "sorry beb,but i can only tell you all the bad points of
marriage, HAH!"
LOL. that's me for you!
white DKNY watch,
roxy baby pink school bag,
white everlast school shoe,
and my "i love paris" diary planner.
hah, sum it up baby = $310
:( haven plus the rest of my shopping list.
stakat niek jehk 300+ (maut seyy)
arrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!
_!_
okay whatever, skip the watch for now.
150$ for all the above things excluding the watch :(
enough meh? i think if enough also left a few dollars only.
and i desperately need to buy my charles & keith sandal.
okay skip skip.
i need to be done here right now,
granny's gna be home anytime. and she's gna kill me =.-
awwww!
goodbye you!

SICK

2008-11-29T21:56:00.000-08:00

yes been taking photos recently, i do not know why.

keep seeing people whom i've not been in contact for a long time.

meet BEN (: hahahah, my part time lover!

*erhemmmmm*

sorry ehk, bad hair day yesterday =.-

so yesterday 3 plus went central with busu to meet my dearest

cik ben (: MUAHHAHA:D whose actually working at central

for the NETS dunno what shit.

so busu was with mok, and half the time i was left out:(

so mok & busu went to do their things while i follow ben

around and do his work. went into shops and explaining

to them about this stupid NETS promotion. haha!

while me, volunteerily takes out the brochure paste the thing

on the standing brochure. lol. idk how to explain lur sial.

updated him on my life (briefly).

so after that he decided we went to enough shops (:

LOL. and he hates the idea working on saturday!LOL.

so we slacked, puff and then off to meet the rest (:

HAHAHA! (asking for being fired!)

so off to my workplace to eat our lunch cum dinner.

then we're laughing at the fact that people might think we're

from secondary school students doing part time job.

and me with my hot pants and tight polo and slippers.
and and the part when he got pissed off by the curtain.

LOLOLOLOL!

then before we eat, he went to buy ciggs, asked which cigg i smoke.

LOL. i didnt intentionally wants to "ketuk" him okay!

i said : "MARLBORO MENTHOL"

i thought, he buy to share or just offer me a few sticks.

HAHA! he gave me the whole pack and buy himself his ciggs(:

awwwwww!sweeted !

LOL. ask me to last for 1 week, gile =.-

siao! last 3 days very good alr.

maybe he thinks i so pathetic smoke ang hun :(

tsk tsk tsk.

yes yes take a few shot and off to work (:

ohoh, i've already top up my prepaid so text me you!

if "IMPORTANT UH".

*smacks your face*

niway, been 2 days since i talked to my boyfriend.

i do not know where he went to nor how to contact him.

but its okay, we all have our own life to lead (:

im just happy being here with me myself and i .

(not exactly, i still have irfan, my bitch, casper.....)

HAHAHAH!

goodbye you!

CIAOS!

drowning in my thoughts

2008-11-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

drowning in my thoughts

yesterday night, was just another night
without you by my side.
quietly i cried, hoping things will turn alright.
tick a tock, the seconds turn replacing time with time.
reminiscning has been a stranger to me,
when i've no reason to hold on and see.

hah, the above is what i've created (:
finally, i've got my ENGLISH SENSE back!
i seriously need to start writing poems or i'll
go crazy :( 1 year without poems, how dull can my life be?
i felt so guilty, calling my bitch and ranting and ranting.
but the worst part is i keep repeating my rants :(
poor her, must have felt very annoyed.
but each time i repeat my rant, we'll have a different
conclusion, and we ended up almost quarreling. yes!
she said : "i know i sounded like someone, i didnt mean to"
i was already to shagged and engrossed in my thoughts.
first, we conclude things will be alright.
secondly, we conclude no its gna make things worst.
third time, we conclude let natural take pace.
fourth, we conclude i cant take it anymore.
i felt like a total bitch.
i didnt feel like talking to anyone, i cant believe i shed tears.
ITS SHED NOT SOB!
only my right eye leis.
LOL. a very good wake up call.
i just hafto keep on puffing and huffing.
realising how much life is out of reach, realising how much
life has in store for us, realising how much i cant rush
things :(
still, my bitch was the best.
yes, she did scolded me. she did blame herself,
i was already too weak. she's so sad.
me: "i'm so sorry baobei, i know this is the first time
you ever hear me say things like this"
as in, its the first time ever that im so low and
so engrossed and shag. i always place others first.
she: "i know, its okay."
we just hope things will turn out alright.
for those, who had been texting me and supporting me (:
im so sorry, i couldnt reply because my prepaid low.
but i'll never forget who you are. trust me, thankiu so nice.
i dont wanna say anything else, caus i dont want this few people
to say like :
"see, i thought you'll be happy without me but in the end.."
that kind of craps. BABY LUR SEYY!
i said this once, i said this twice, this time i'll still say it again!
I CHOSE THIS PATH, THEREFORE I WILL BE RESPONSIBLE
OF MY OWN DEEDS AND DOINGS. IF I'VE OFFENDED YOU
IN ANYWAY OR IF I OWE YOU ANYTHING, COME AND FIND ME.
WHETHER THIS PATH WILL LEAD TO A HAPPY ENDING OR NOT,
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE OF YOU.
CAUS WHETHER IM HAPPY OR NOT, I'LL WALK IT DOWN MY OWN.
SO DONT COME LECTURING ME ON WHAT I SHOULD AND
NOT DO! IM THE PRINCESS, IM THE BOSS, I CALLS THE SHOT,
SO GET LOST! IM NOT THAT UNGRATEFUL KIND OF BITCH.
I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING, I FORGIVES BUT NEVER
FORGETS. SO, IF YOU BLOODY WANNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY
LIFE, LET ME TELL YOU THIS : GO GET A LIFE!

visiting

2008-11-28T20:49:00.000-08:00

i didnt knew people are watching my steps

2008-11-28T04:14:00.000-08:00

i didnt knew people are watching my steps,

scary but true :(
anyway, i've just got home :D
went to woodlands( causeway point) , lorong ah soo, amkhub.
so practically while we got off the train, i bloody need
to puff so i did ~
and notice this group of 3 guys been staring at me =.-
typical mat reps, i think? cant be more bothered.
and then i found out, STALKERS!
YES, they followed me until i think they realise that i know
they're following me caus at 1 point i was at 77 street when
they went in the shop, and i bloody stand at the glass panel there,
and stare at them (:
so since then, they never follow. how smart can i be?
got myself a leather bracelet with "baby" on it,
customised ~ oh, its a gift from busu (for no reason)
LOL. then off to precious thots to buy that crystal ball,
as a present for her friend. 65$ lah sey.
i wanted one too :(
shag, i think i dress like a minah-lian. as usual, but
wardrobe's so limited. no shopping :(
NO WORK = NO MONEY.
yes so pathetic until, i hafto buy ang hun when my ciggs finish this time.
that way perhaps better, caus i get to smoke 10 of that in
a day, and if i finish it = no more :(
caus busu roll for me 10 everyday only.
sad sia. yes,
went to lorong ah soo for visiting again.
this time with my uncle and 2 cousin.
my youngest cousin is 4 mths old, and her brother is 7years old.
pathetic, all my cousin so young.
haziqka & haziq.
what a nice name (:
nevermind, so whole of the time i was trying to learn
and LIKE babies and toddlers.
yes, BOTH.
prefer toddler to babies.
awwwww!
made to carry and take picture with them..
uploading tomorrow(:
so then off to amkhub's supermarket,
get my peach tea & hershey kisses.
got home, and here i am blogging without changing my
clothes nor removing my light light lightest make up.
so sayonara people!

bestie

2008-11-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

bestie!

how nice is it, to know you've a bestie who goes all
the way to help you salvage your relationship?
:D yes, my boyfriend's bestie DANNY (:
so willing to help me do something about the situation,
that we're currently in.
so you see i've not been blogging about my beloved boyfriend.
because we quarrel most of the time, and we're not really
in contact now(my prepaid low, his hp spoil).
sighs, yes!
but finally a remedy another miracle is here to help,
salvage this dream(:
god bless the outcome, whatever may fall.
i'm ready to take, bring it on!
told bi was going to go to sleep, yes very shag but somehow
i cant go to sleep, so i just laze around..
puff puff, then off to clean the house and bathe (:
and here pop! i am in front of the computer.
chat awhile with danny and then he assured me he'll
help in whatever way that is good for the both of us.
hopefully is a positive outcome, so my tarot card is always right?
hmmmpftsx, am going off now to do my usual stuffs.
then later gna accompany busu pick mok up(:
yadayada.. somebody please inspire me to keep my mind off
these unnecassary stuffs.
i wanna go persuade busu to get me my book. heh!
goodbye now!

sheesha

2008-11-27T19:02:00.000-08:00

sheesha sheesha sheesha, anybody?
LOL. my bitch is so gna accompany me!
muahahahah:D
my boyfriend so supporting(LOL).
yesterday night talk was awesome, with all the singing and
all the sighing(idky).
and then in the middle of the night i felt like mugging=.-
very random of me (: but heh *good girl*
but i didnt lur =.-
and and busu is so going to buy me my roxy schoolbag(:
wawawawawa~!
nvm nvm, so we're practically talking about
ritzy, sheesha, breast(always), body figure, air stewardess.
still very depressed :(
haha, good body figure no meat so?
ohoh, we even talked about diet.
me... supporting her to be aneroxic.
hey c'mon, im the most supporting kind of gf ever!
so maybe its a bad thing=.-
but hack, she influencing me to study and read.
all coming true baby!
LOL. yes, somehow im gna start reading before my english
deteriorate any furthermore with my english mix
chinese, mix hokkien,mix malay and whatever more.
aiyooooooo!rabak sey.
hahaha. maybe there's kenduri tonight, maybe not.
maybe we gna go celebrate hari raya haji, maybe not.
aiyo, pathetic family. cant make up their mind.
ooooh, and my talib syg is so mad at me or not giving
him a call to meet-up yesterday :(
he says im a naughty2 girl.
and this friend of bi actually commented in 1 of pic.
tittled: "presenting; the bachelorette"
awww! he say :
mane ade bachelorette, dah angin yang punyer paa.
LOL. step jekh lurr cant meh?
so fierce seyy,
so in the end is "presenting; the bachelorette (exclude me)"
uh, yes. pathetic.
so bi said he cant go in friendster if not he also will scold me :(
awwwww!
and and talib syg said i looked so different.
they say i looked like im much older than my age.
AWWWWWW!
*smack on my head*
nevermind, still very quite depressed that all these sales is
going without ME :( me, can you believe it?
me not buying anything during SALE?!
look at that future state skirt, awwww!
damn it,
nevermind, am going to go bathe and off to sleep
before waking up to start mugging
(oh please dear god, give me the determination to)
goodbye earthlings!

shag baby!

2008-11-27T04:07:00.000-08:00

shag, baby!

LOL, i just got back from j8 with my beloved mok.
realised something, i forgot to text TALIB syg=.=
was supposed to meet him 5 plus 6.
sorry ehkk, prepaid low lur.
& too shag to remember:XX
i not bo xim(heartless in hokkien) okays!
i practically went caus i need some fresh air compared to
staying at home (:
and y' know what? i went out trying evry hard to keep my
eyes opened. yes, i gave mok my words to accompany her.
so whether im sleeping or not, i'll still go with her.
so i woke up, put on my foundation and loose powder then my
lip care.. and change so im ready!
grey shirt with grey short with grey hoodies.
yes=.=
only brown havaianas slippers with black sling bag and
PINK wallet, yes pink=.-
(dont ask me y, ask my bitch)
so i guess i'll hafto stick with pink next year?
being me, i think yesterday was a total torture.
headaches getting worst, my body trembling. yes, trembling.
i need to puff very very much.
so mok as kind as she is, lend me 10bucks to get my daily dose.
(my ciggs lur)
asked if it's enough. damn of cause!
i dont wanna go lending another 2 dollars to bloody get
marlboro menthol :(
was thinking if i ever buy winner, i swear i can cut down a lot.
HAHAHA:D
on second thoughts, i think i'll end up smoking more.
cutting down in process (:
then off to j8 :( heart ache! yes i was like...
"wah! chee bye, i got money they no sale, no money so many sale!"
yes, :( what the fuck?
cotton on, buy 2 bra get 1 free :(
thongs 3 for $20 :(
future state skirt = $49.90:(
OMFG :(
and saw so many familiar faces, oh i saw my idol.
LOL. not really, this guy in my school so good in dancing.
my wish is to be able to dance with him someday (:
i bet people will start killing me if i ever say this out.
ooooh, he looked at me :D muahaha,
i know he was staring at me, although he walked past, but
he constantly turns to look at me.. woaaaaaahhh!
yes, :( too bad hah. im so faithful to my beloved boyfriend.
ooh, gen ting? or whatever his name is, was with him(:
so of caus i smile, dont you smile when you see someone you know?
LOL. thats basic courtesy if you dont bother to go get your ass
there and say "HI" lol.
saw sean too, this time was mutual smiling(:
heh, wrong term, i know.
so cute cans?!
whatever. sleeping mode lur.
cant stand looking at all those stores having sale without me :(
me, totally broke looking in the store with amazement, aweing,
and you'll hear me go like "ooooooh!!awwwww!"
no, i used to go like : "EH SEEE, 49$ NIA."
dont do it anymore :( working is tough.
49$ is 3 days my salary . heh! ya.
still i got no idea how im gna save whatever daddy gna give me
this coming weekend.
and am so so so not in the mood, so was thinking of
asking daddy out on a drink(:
jack daniel's whiskey oiiii!
in my hand lur, muahahah:D
half bottle, daddy you me, you know i know!
hahahaha:D
maybe not, :( bi dont like me drinking.
but,if with daddy? i bet nobody haf the reason to say NO.
*wink*
whiskey neat neat neat please?
NO MIXTURE, DADDY!
=.= somehow sitting at s-11 with a bottle of whiskey in hand,
sounds so OLD.
no ambience no nothing.
ohhhh, for a moment just now was thinking of what baobei said
the other day, since we couldnt finish the peach tea up.
*wink wink*
ask me to do the sheesha thing.
damn, i bet bi gna kill me if he ever know.
definitely no, i didnt do it.
c'mon crazy? in the middle of the beach and everyone already
staring at us, for being the only 2 in bikini.
and and there goes my ciggs if we ever do that.
NONONO, not risking being caught like that.
in case for some who dont know what im talking about,
hah(very lazy to explain)
its a DIY sheesha. hah, using a bottle of tea, whatever tea lur,
green tea, peach tea, lemon tea.
not gna elaborate anymore, wna know?
ask me yourself ! (:
i'll tell you if i know you!
muahahha:D
but felt like doing :( awwwwww!
its been so so so long since i've last done it.
i remember, i ended up vomitting after that,
maybe because the tea and the ciggs doesn't click :(
poor me, hard time baby!
hey c'mon its not a drug okay! i dont touch drugs(:
whatever, waiting for 9pm am gna go call my bitch!
goodbye now

slaps

2008-11-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

don't tell me i look like my mummy,
i'll bloody slap your face.

had this lecture by one of my not very close god-brother
idk when(nong nong time ago)..
yes, PARENTS .
in my case, nobody can say anything.
cause i bloody dont owe my parents anything.
I SAY SO!
they're only subtituting money with the amount of time
that they hafto spend with me.
so dont come lecture me about what shit and all.
nobody has the right to, OKAY!
haha, ridiculous but true, to think someone doesnt
wants to acknowledge her daughter (not really lur),
okay ignore her daughter. whatever, fucked up kind of mother.
abandon me for him, LOL.
tit for tat, i'll show you the taste of your own medicine.
dont come throwing your money at me,
i dont give a damn!
hate you!

gripping tight

2008-11-26T19:11:00.000-08:00

gripping tight

yesterday, i've broke my record :D
i puff a total of 3 sticks only oiiii!
yes, 3 lahh ehk.
practically having headache for the whole day =.=
was freezing half the time :(
as usual, talked to my bitch, made up a lot of analogy.
yes, i'm beginning to sounds like her,
realise that she's my inspiration.
was having a nap 2-4 pm yesterday( & i missed bi,when he came online)
had many dreams( short short ones)
the most funniest part is when i wake up,
i asked myself : "what is short crust pastry?"
OMFG, yes i actually did that okay!
then i say to myself, once NOVEMBER IS OVER,
i'll get my ass in front of those books :(
(idk if i can achieve that)
but i'll try, for the sake of doing.
oooops! i saw that diary planner and am intending to get it
$15.00 awwwww!
nevermind,
now im left with no moolahs, totally none.
not even a cent. yes.
but i felt more happier that way, idky.
for a moment, im not depressed nor am i worrying about money.
countdown 3 more days till daddy give me my allowance (:
i'ma go save it, yes save!
i think?
working 2 days later, i dont feel like working alr.
*skipskip*
talking to baobei has always been fun never fails to make me laugh.
oh, she still inspiring me to bloody go read a book=.=
yes, i know bitch! i know i havent touch one for 987654321days?
LOL.
the last book i read is ps i love you(2nd time).
can somebody buy me a book by cecilia ahern?
please?
*winks*
yesterday yesterday i was an english teacher for a moment to my bitch.
yes, she said "FOUNDED"
i say since when english got that word "founded"
she says : "find, found, founder, founded"
_!_
lol. I SAY IS FOUND. NO FOUNDED.
hah. she cant understand why.
my dear bitch, not all past tense got -ED behind.
she goes like : "who dunno your ang moh very tok kong one?"
ya whatever.
luckily i wasnt blinded enough to agree with her "FOUNDED"
hah.
so, last night we're practically singing songs
(if our sentence include any song title)
oh, and i told her i need people to donate moolahs to me ..
so we go like :
"donate, oh donate, oh donate some money to me to me"
lol. figure out what song is that . HAHA.
my bonnie lies over the ocean =.-
we're still very excited about the beach outing (upcoming).
my analogy,
[add the beach, minus the clothes, divide the foods, multiply the sunblock]
whatever, midnight, followed busu to go find her"AUNTY"
for goodness sake her "aunty" is not that old.
then i cant remember her, but she says
she used to bring me out when i was younger and whatever.
ohh, so i just smoked her winner (red).awwww! shucks!
learnt that people who goes to club normally smokes
red or sampoerna or winner=.=
whatever, so we're practically (me & her) freak out about that cat.
this time, we looked at each other and ask where's teh cat.
all of the sudden i turn to the right, and saw the cat next to me,
below, opening its mouth and meow!
yes, bloody hell. i was so shocked, i screamed.
"wah ni na bei, ccb!"
LOL. they laughed.
then send her across the road and back home(:
good news, quitting smoking in process.
i know i said that countless time, but this time for real.
its because i wanted to not because i hafto.
so if i ever smoke, i'll say because i wanted to not because i hafto.
(:

baby, please understand this dream is fading away.
i dont wanna lose you neither the dream.
so its either now or never.

saving money

2008-11-26T02:57:00.000-08:00

i'm so proud of myself now(:
i've not huff and puff today yet. it's 6.58pm y' know!
so that is = to more than 12 hours of not touching my daily dose.
LOL.
yes caus i no money, no daily dose, and i hafto cut down.
i'm so proud for catching bi at the right time,
realise i missed him once (:
nevermind.. the main point here is i gta save money!
yes, save bloody save.
another beach outing with baobei up soon.
yes again, this time its pure tanning and bitching and cam-whoring.
awwww! add the suncblock, minus the clothes,
divide the foods multiply the volume!
hmmmptfsx.
pout & puff, smile and smack.
HAHAH. *inside joke*
tsk tsk tsk, its a pity if you dont hit the beach(:
awww! so no shopping now, on hold.

failed to catch you

2008-11-26T00:46:00.000-08:00

failed to catch you

so sorry that i didnt really elaborate what happened on the 24th.
firstly i dont have that "writing-a-recount-kind-of-feeling"
make me feel like im back in school.
today sucks totally, my prepaid is low so i cant text my bf.
he's phone is spoilt so he can't text me.
therefore we cant contact, and i dont know how long this will
last:( caus i miss him badly, and i've so much to say.
last night i went to THE funeral, yes(not elaborating)
i saw my mummy there, she didnt really bother to come
and catch up with me neither did she talk more than 3 sentence to me.
WHATEVER! i cant be more bothered to, everything was so wrong.
last night, i walked around with tears in my eyes.
yes in my eyes, very little lur, look like can drop any moment.
so maybe thats why i was left alone by ahgong and his friends.
they dont know say what geylang east hia di.
BLAH, so gangsterism cant be bothered.
i was practically at the next block because the funeral is a christian 1.
so the priest or whatever will niam(nag) a lot.
heard this part:
"si le bu shi wan le, shi mei le....."
WTF? lol. i cant do this, i cant hear people say this type of things,
i'll go crazy i swear.
and then next priest (practically a talk on life & death).
take turns=.=
after that was the priest singing, the rest was standing up.
i swear uh, he start singing only that SEMBAWANG START DRIZZLING.
LOL. funny, me & ahgong run far far and sit.
and hello, they use MIC lei=.='''
so i blast my techno in my mp4. still can hear his voice.
powerful.
hah, late night talk with baobei on ahgong's phone.
all the way till home(:
talked about saggy breast. yes still very upset,
then we talked about what guys are thinking.
and she said she found that "dunno which aunty give birth
to that son's number" yes.
the one who made her life miserable.
so she goes like
: "darls, you think i should text him?or maybe not?should i?or not?"
me:
"hello baby, you know im the most sporting kind of gf you can
ever find, so stop asking me these type of questions.
i'll say go lah, it doesnt kills. just go if you want to!"
baobei:
"maybe thats the problem between you and your bf"
me:
"hah, maybe i do not know"
she said im too matured for people my age.
maybe? maybe not?
and what is wrong with people nowadays telling me i look very
matured and im more matured than my age?
AWWWWW!
is that why that baby calls me ibu?
he called me ibu 2 days ago. for goodness sake.
i got totally freaked out, you betcha,.
oh, had i include that deear's letter includes marriage & kids.
yes, i freak out. awwww!
but maybe maybe maybe i might change my point of view.
god bless you,
ciaos!

from now till eternity

2008-11-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

from now till eternity

woke up at 7.15am yes. AM, (spell it)
LOL. was supposed to wake baobei up at 8.
i do not want to oversleep nor go back to sleep,
lest i cant wake up to wake her up =.-
and if she's late deear's so gna kill me i swear!
went online, and at 8 sharp, already in front of my house phone.
getting ready to spam baobei's phone. SPAM.
spam and spam and spam:( but no answers, & yes she's still asleep.
my last resort, call her home (:
I KNOW IT'S SO EARLY IN THE MORNING.
BUT TOO BAD I'LL HAVE TO DO IT=.=
another spamming was about to happen, when at the very last
few seconds, someone picked up the phone(:
awwwwww! yes, joey's mummy!
asked her to wake joey up, and then there my bitch,
(perhaps dragged her feets to answer the call lethargically)
H-A-H-A
went to bathe at 9am sharp, LOL.
bathed for 30 minutes, i do not know why?
taking my own sweet time, dragging my feet to the toilet.
(before that i dragged my feet everywhere to pick my stuff up)
the thought of the day before yesterday just bloody scares me.
i dont wanna panic, i dont wanna run, i dont wanna get excited.
the attack(some sort) the day before yesterday was one of the worst
ever; my heart problem.
my whole body practically following my heart beat and busu
felt it. we're both just so shocked and lost.
breathing hard dont work :(
whole body trembling, i just fall down on the bed.
feel my heartbeat, praying hard; my tears rolled down my cheek.
i was so lost and hopeless, i dare not go to a doctor.
i dont wanna find out i got some sort of heart disease or what shit.
NVM,
back back>>
after bathing, dry my hair then make up time.
another time consuming period.
was already 10.15 when im ready(rushing oiiii!)
ran down to buy my daily dose then off to meet my bitches at hub's
taxi stand. was quarrelling with bi, idky.
things were alright by the time i reach the traffic light.
those things i brought was practically killing me=.=
so heavy, and my body aches! and so shagged.
and i've so much essentials not brought.
then my baobei text me ;
"Bitches!you two are late.haha"
LOL. that means she's early lur. godsake, what a miracle.
first time in 4 years ever that JOEY YAP IS ON TIME AND
EARLIER THAN ANYONE!
muahahaha:D*i bitch you, darling*-
reached, saw the both of them crapping and bitching with
photographs in hand. was moody and and tired and and lazy.
so we cabbed down (: 12$+
*skip skip*
found a very suitable place, settled and all.
present exchanging part :
me present them with my lollipop roses awwww!
baobei present me a F21 pink wallet cum clutch (:
deear got the same one but in purple.
deear present me a plastic "doll" small figurine, in a pink box.
"she says it looks like me"
baobei got her's in a black box(:
ME: "WHAT IS UP WITH PINK?"
lol. not a pink fanatic kind of thing, just somehow brighten me,
and make me feel so girly i do not know why?
we all are very engrossed in our own problem, and
i really need time on my own at that time.
baobei: "can we read the letters now?can we?"
LOL.
i cant take it any longer, asked each of them to face each side,
shut up and read their letters(:
yes, i put on my mp4, and read and read and read.
almost teared ;( how touching are these sweetfaces?
*skip skip*
ate, then took off our(me & baobei) top and off to play sand.
LOL. we did not practically sing till our throat sores neither
did we dance till our bone break.
hmmmmpft. girls talk,
baobei: "darls, whats your bra size?"
me: "why me first? you luh, you younger"
baobei: "huh, you oldest lei?!"
me: "i dun care lur"
baobei: "wait uh, idk lei..(take out her bra) see yourself(c)"
me: "LOL.mine uh?(checkin2) B leis"
cant remember the number in front.
yes, so envy her:( her breast is natural high one.
that means she cant wear half cup bra nor low cuts.
i got saggy breast :( V valley awwww!
she was depressed because i got the figure.
i was depressed because she got the boobs.
=.= thats what we talk all day.
we're supposed to grow old and saggy together.
(we both haf high cheek bones:)
mmmmphst. we camwhored like crazy.
yes, very very scandalous shots.
(too bad not with me yet; shall upload some soon)
then something cropped up(not explaining)
we went to suntec city :(
make me see so many things i now wanting to buy.
my shopping list is as high as idk what.
this heart shape crystal,bronze ring, from heroic rendezvous
$103.99++ LOL. caught my eye.
(yes, im coming for you baby! wait for me)
that roxy dress we both fall for (55$)
that ms selfridge rectangle handbag :( (65$)
that 3 books from cecilia ahern(60$)
OHMY. cant cant make it.
i dont feel like saying the rest now.
feeling so uneasy. but its okay, another beach outing
with baobei coming up soon.. promise!
bi, im so sorry. i should have notice all my mistakes.
please forgive me, and i love you alrightey!

night talk with baobei, my bitch.
realise i was too harsh on bi.
realise i was more matured than girls of my age.
realise many things, undescribable.
i totally have no mood for all these now.
am gna blog whenever i wants to!
gdbye earthlings

biatches reunion oi!

2008-11-24T06:00:00.001-08:00

just got back from reunion, already very shag!

yes shag.

shall blog tomorrow!

and and above is those unedited pics. more to come.....

stay tune sexayye!

bitches day

2008-11-23T16:31:00.000-08:00

okay earthlings! im here blogging at 8.35am on

24 of NOVEMBER 2008:D

well, i forgot to blog last night =.-

anyways, yesterday was supposed to meet busu's evil twin

at 2pm at lorong ah soon (void deck) LOL.

yes, we're so late that we gta take a cab there.

& i bought ciggs (now left 5 only :X)

we're so pathetic that we gta eat in the cab

(havent eat any meals oiiiii!)

well well, upon reaching the place, i alighted the cab

and start taking out a ciggs and try to light it.

then busu say, "eh siao uh, they stay this block 2nd floor only,

can see lah, go void deck. go go go!"

LOL. yes, so i went. while waiting for the evil twin,

we took photos(i do not know why).

oh maybe becaus of me wearing a hair band =.-

then busu says:

"dunno whose daughter is that, so pretty sia"

(never kembang okay!;too lazy to tie)

so smoking halfway when busu wna take photo with me,

evil twin came :( i was smoking!

then we all kanchiong spider lur, caus the evil twin

like to pao toh wan summore, is 1 of the fiercest in the family.

she dont really looked shock but she just say

"wah kakak you smoke uh, tsk tsk. ah yoooo!"

(i just jeling her)

LOL. better than her smoke CONTRABAND SIOL.

still police leis.

*skip skip*

visiting was boring, yes indeed.

we get to hear grandmother story from busu's aunties.

awwwwww!

so one of them asked me something in malay and too fast.

i couldnt catch so i was like "su,,what she say huh?"

then she of caus goes like "aiyo, nie mlayu ke cine?anak mlayu

tak tau ckp mlayu uh?"

busu: "dier kan SLOW skit.."

_!_ nabei,

"ANAK MLAYU NENEK CINE LAHH"

lol- my brother used to say.

anyway, from them i found out that my real grandfather is

actually the dunno whose cousin and yadayada.

you know, elderlys like to talk about family ties.

and the reason our side family is so small because either some

already pass away, or never contact or lost in somewhere.

(dont really bother)

back still aching, my hand cant straighten.

and uh! so we left before the rain gets heavier and ...

i gta be so kind to sponsor that evil twin ciggs.

in case she start shooting her mouth.

realise the two twin are so slow when comes to smoking=.-

nvm nvm, anyway am only gna go work on weekends from

next week onwards so please date me out on the weekdays (:

yes, DATE!

muahahah:D

skip many parts, to lazy to elaborate.

am going to go get ready for my bitches reunion. yes

the long awaiting reunion is TODAY!

put your hands up baby!

LOL. goodbye now!

falling deep

2008-11-22T18:52:00.000-08:00

falling deep

last night, was puffing the whole time.
my bitches called me up, individually. i really treasure it alot.
as usual, my night talk with baobei, she called me close to 11.30.
we'd talked about death, brands, analogy, books, and many more.
"IM THE PRINCESS, IM THE BOSS,
YOU ARE FIRED, SO GET LOST!"
-kimora
(idk how to spell her name lur)
vera wang, anna sui (:
we actually sang! yes, reminiscing the past:
britney spears - im not a girl not yet a woman
blue- bubblin, one love
westlife- (cant remember)
mariah carey- all i want for christmas is you, my all
christina aguilera- "im a big big girl in a big big world..."
justin timerblake, nsync, aaron carter ....
awwww!
i completed the present alone, while talking to her:D
2 hour plus a talk.
my body were aching half the time, yes it is.
idk where my bf is, cant be more bothered.
im sorry for those texts whom i did not reply,
because im NOT IN THE MOOD.
my back hurts, my left arm is in great pain, my leg is still not okay!
i walk like a bimbo!
=.-
i got another visiting today, and am so excited for tmr reunion.
but i doubt, anyone will have the mood to..
we'll practically go there and cry our lungs out, dance till our
bone break, sings till our throat soar, take pictures like a whore.
LOL. (quite rhyme ehk?)
yesyes, yesterday talk (some remembered part)-
baobei: "wah then next time your son call you ibu you will go like,
*clearing throats*(american slang) NO SON, IT'S MUMMMMEHY!
NOT IBU, SAY MUMMMMEHY!"
me: LOL
-------------------------------------------------------------------
baobei: "im going to finish reading the book im reading, im not happy.
i dont wanna finish it, but im very proud of myself"
me: (thinking) *every good things come to an end, it's just like
life..isnt it? like when you're done with a relationship, you dont
wanna stop, you dont wanna forget, but yes, you hafto stop,
whether you forget it or not, doesnt matter*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
baobei: "i once read a book they wrote you cant choose to deliberately
forget all these because it already happened but you can choose
to remember it or not"
me: it sounded very chim(profound) lei, i dont really understand but...
doesnt matter
----------------------------------------------------------------------
vulgarity is back to kill me =.-
i was going like
: "wahhh, ni na bei!"
: "wahh, cold mother!"
: "puah chee bye lur"
: "chee bye sia"
: "simi lan jiao?"
: "mai jiao lah"
: "ni na mah"
=.- i know, miss my class too much alr i think!
offf now! am going for another visiting lest i regret again.
and and ohh! i still havent got over HER death, i still cried
last night then after deear called me and she said i sounds like baobei.
*phone rings*
deear: "hello?"
me: "hello?"
deear:"hello?"
me: HELLO!"
deear: "DARLS?"
me: "ya?"
deear: "darls, did you just cry?"
me: "ya sort of"
deear: "you sounded like baobei"
=.-

when it hurts deep down

2008-11-22T03:34:00.001-08:00

when it hurts deep down
[IN LOVING MEMORY OF GRAND-AUNT NORMAH]
22.11.08
01.20AM
DUE TO FAILED CARDIOLOGY
(DUNNO WHAT SHIT)

last night, work was as usual boring.
just that people ordered in more quantities.
& i heard 2 song repeatedly for the whole 3 hours.
bi played soccer for 4hours, yes FOUR. (spell it)
so definitely, he went to sleep earlier than ever.
(& he slept for a total of more than 14hours)
went home, was already so shagged very.
went online, & i couldnt remember why i did not blog.
i keep forgetting to do the stuffs that i wanted to.
was about to go to sleep when my bitch called me.
being ME, i don't have the courage to reject it nor fake
that i did not hear it or whatever else.
i answered, true enough; because i was still not asleep.
we were so emo, i do not know why.
don't know which aunty borned that son to make my bitch's
life so miserable.(she sounds very miserable)
but base on her nonsence, we made out many "IMAGINARY"
analogy for life & relationship.
me: "actually, i hate emos.i dont know why, we're emoing"
& the worst part is, i dont know why im EMO, also.
i've have what i wanted(almost) & got what i wished(almost).
i couldn't really remember what we said last night,
sleeping mode. we're practically in no mood to talk.
and we take turns to sigh. yes, sigh.. (HAISSSSSSH!)
the last part was, she wanted to go to bed early.
because she wants to start life afresh, she's gna go jog
2 rounds at the park near her house.
so, when i wanted to go to bed.. i realise i couldn't:(
just nice, busu reached home.. so we start preparing for
my bitches presents(:
the fact that we're both shag, is still there.
then then, someone called our home.
me: "wtf? so late at night?"
then my brother was so shocked, he passed the phone to busu.
the next moment i know was the both of them went to wake
my granny up from her sleep.
then i realised, my beloved grant-aunt(granny's brother's wife)
passed away :(
i didn't shed a tear then, i didnt believe it.
i swear i didn't. but i know i went puffing twice after that.
i saw a cockcroach(damn it, i forgotten how to spell)= ka zua
i thought it was her, but still i didnt let it come out of the drain.
i knew it, i swore i sense death last month :(
[i can sense death,in a way or another]
but nobody believed me, nobody did.
although i didnt believe that she passed on, i still think back
of the things i did with her.
my life regret:
few days ago, when we were told that she's admitted to
NUH due to heart attack (ICU), i didnt really care.
they went to visit her a few day later,
i didnt went. i thought she's fine, yes.
and am so tired due to work and all the problem i had
in hands. twice i escaped, twice i was excused from not going.
they planned to visit her today, was still thinking of escaping.
i just hate the idea of going to the hospital and still, its
so far away and the trip to and fro is very time consuming.
we gta wait for everyone to get ready then it'll be around 3 when
we leave, 1 and a half hour to go and another to come back.
what can i do? i got work at 6pm for goodness sake!
go there, stuck my ass for 10 mins and make a move?
that was what i was thinking.
she had her operation 2 days ago(if am not wrong)
everything still was FINE.
now.......
---------------------------------------------------------
so me & busu practically haf no mood to do the present.
to add on it, we're both already so exhausted from work.
& i had just too much to think and reflect on.
(i do reflecting everynight before going to bed, yes i do)
we packed everything up and off to bed.
i couldnt go to sleep :( i didnt wana accept the fact.
i dont want to wake up to find myself lost again.
slept at 2 plus almost 3.
3-4am (somewhere there), my right leg cramp.
yes, in the middle of my sleep.
it's the first time i have leg cramp while sleeping in my home!
used to have it only when staying over my ex's place.
so he'll wake up just to help me get over my cramp.
this time, nobpdy was there. i knew someone is still awake.
it hurts so much, i need to scream, i really need.
then i try to relax my muscles only to find out, i couldnt move.
still, i try very hard, and i dont wanna wake busu up
caus we hafto wake up early in the morning to go for the funeral.
then, i was fine after awhile. managed to go back to sleep.
slept for less than 5hours around 4 hours plus.
waked up at 7+ am, to head to jurong for the funeral.
yes, we trained there. i still couldnt believe it.
i was told by granny not to go near to the corpse because i just
finished my period and i havent bathe "clean".
(in the religious way)
too early to dress up, was told to wear something long.
didnt wanna wear baju kurong, dont know if i have any=.-
so i just clad in white polo and grey skinny.
(i hate wearing NF skinny)
and andd worst, i cant fold my skinny:(
so i ended up looking like some sort of lost minah mix ahlian
kind of look, damn !
saw busu's evil twin there _!_
she said i look like minah rep.
totally spoil my mood, act one very expert at there.
bragging about her newest and collection of her gadgets.
(hp, psp, and whatever....)
we knew we had to eat before going up to the place, to show respect.
so we got no where to sit except on the stairs near the interchange.
evil twin: "you all like orphans eating hungrily"
but in the end she also sit down. KAO PEI!
then she throw her empty bottle at me,
i threw back in front of granny.
(didnt get scolded tho) MUAHAHAH:D
and i told her, you look like some sort of
mat rep tak menjadi :D
with her FAKE jade, LOL.
she said mine's fake too! i say you dont believe
ask granny lur, cant see its gold meh?
=.-
we waited for them to collect the body from the hospital
for a total of 4 hours close to 5.
yes, many people was there.
i was dying to puff :( and this baby uncle of mine,
vomitted(motion sickness) LOL.
so we went to jurong point with him to buy him a shirt.
so we wrapped him in the (scarf) LOL.
i dont know why he likes it when i carry him, but his hands arh..
aiyo, anyhow put one . then nver hold properly.
*skip skip*
i was already very tired, so is the rest.(some just got back from night shift)
and this baby uncle of mine, keep clinging on me:X
caus im the only girl in the family who will carry him and
spin and spin like nobody business then swing him using only 1 hand to
hold him another to support his body weight.
my body was already shaking due to my tiredness,
and my right leg still hurts badly:(
im already sweating alot, and he's so heavy.
im tired of carrying him here and there, with 1 hand.
then i gta support with the another when i know i cant take it.
as usual, swing him, yes..
i sang "rock-a-bye-baby...on the tree top"
reallyyy, too bad nobody can imagine how i swing him,
as if he's sitting on a beach bed or whatever, then im the stupid tree.
i told him i cant take it, TOO BAD! A BABY CANT UNDerstand!
YES, damn it, he didnt stand up like before.
*too much fun for him i guess*
he's too busy giggling and smiling.
in the end, my hand cant take it, and he fell on th floor.
i was like "OMFG!"
YES! BLOODY FELL. good thing, he's still alright.
my brave babyboy, didnt cry.
everyone was like gonna kill me.
*luckily i rock him very low and near the floor*
he woke up, am squatting next to him when he hold my
face with 2 hands and kiss me then poke my nose with his
index finger. (: how cute, yes he's 3 years old!
then everybody start saying how much he likes me and yadayada.
for a moment, he called me "IBU".
everyone knows i hate babies! but babies love me.
=.- maybe caus i also very childish, ahboy said so!
i was like :" huh!? ibu, there lah. not me, there!"
then he come to me and call me ibu.
=.- everyone was laughing, so of course im so scared to even
entertain him anymore. but he still come running to me.
even after the fall, he still wants me to rock him.
when the body arrived, they bathed it while some waited outside.
and see the praying part from the window.
was told not to go near so i stand outside and watched by the window.
after they bathed her, she was placed in th middle of the living room.
and all the other girls, crowd and sit around.
so they do the normal routine *idk what its called*
before tat, busu was talking to me about funerals.
i never officially been to a malay funeral as in see them pray
and the body in front and the whole process.
only did went to the chinese one, and even the chinese graveyard.
told that i was not supposed to hold joss sticks nor burn
incense paper even to the dead.
(i'm sorry, i didnt knew. but it was the past, so not counted!)
LOL.
when the body is placed, they only reveal half of the face.
then people will start sprinkling the *idk what* thing in a
way (dunno how to explain)
OKAY, so everyone (almost) started crying.
i still didnt believe, i thought i'd never cry.
i never did cry for anyone's death.
neither do i think i'll ever cry.
yet, i cried, with heart full of regrets and apology.
i prayed hard that she'll forgive me.
i reminisce the part when she'll hug me and say
how beautiful i am (: i miss the part when we had
a family gathering and as usual i did not join the ladies,
crapping and gossiping she'll let me sit on her lap
cause there's no place to sit.
she'll tell me how beautiful i am everytime,
she'll tell me how much i grew.
even when everyone else has stopped crying, i did not.
i didnt sobbed hard, but i just cried.
to my shock, my brother put his arms around me and pat me.
he said softly, "see now you regret,next time if there's any
visiting see whether you'll go or not, dont cry"
and continue patting me!
for the bloody first time he did that to me, thankiu brother:D
i love youuuuuu!mwuahhhhhh!<3
until, i was ready enough to shake his hands off my shoulder.
we walked down and made our way to the bus.
it was already so late, my eyes are swollen and it's smaller than ever!
and my body shivers,
im so afraid im late for work :(
*skip skip*
reached home 5.20, take a quick bathe.
off to work, puff twice before start work.
my bosses can see how shag i am, already so tired
from crying and thinking, and my eyes looked as if
its gna close any sooner, but im not tired.
im not tired, i just wanted to be alone. i dont wanna talk,
i couldnt smile. i just wanna shut myself from the world.
the person i needed most, wasnt there. no one was there to
comfort me this time, too lazy to go and find one.
i needed a hug badly, but too lazy to go down and
get a hug from my dearest friends:(
busu sent me my dinner at work.
i worked for 1 hour only today. my bosses said i looked
terrible, they dont want me to fall ill and thus skip work tmr.
neither do they want me to faint.
so i went home.
now thinking back, today is my worst day.
never had anyone said i looked so bad, and all my
feelings can be read just by looking at the way i talk
and the way i looked.
my hair is in a big mess, but i do not bother.
(cant even be more bothered)
my voice is too soft that my customer had to "huh?huh?huh?"
(i think i sound too gentle=.-)
and i got no moolahs :( why wont anyone volunteer to pay
at least some sum of amount that they owe me?
hais,
it really hurts me till now.
i still feel like crying, i wished someone will pat me to sleep now.
and whisper "dont worry baby, everything's fine now"
but too bad, its just a dream
and MY BF IS HAPPILY TONNING AWAY. YES, HAPPILY.
NO MESSAGES FROM HIM YET!

dua insan

2008-11-20T23:27:00.000-08:00

bila kau senyum, ku gembira

bila kau sedih, ku menangis

bagai taman rindukan kembang

ku rindu wajahmu oh sayang

di mana saja kau berada

ku kan tetap bersamamu

walaupun jasadku jauh

namun hatiku tetap padamu

i'm here blogging since bi's banned from using his

computer oi!=.-

he's back! muahahah:D

yes, not very in the mood right now.

we just sort of quarrelled :(

but things are way fine now!

yes, he cooked breakfast today oiiiii!(:

how cute is he? he does houseworks & he cooks!

muahahah:D

yes, we're talking about his friends, and guys.

we both knew okay, how many people dont like us

together because they're jealous and whatever more.

but, all these aint gonna break us apart.

andand oh, im so obsessed with this malay song "dua insan"

i do not know why. seldom okay! obsessed with malay songs.

i miss my bitch :(

we couldnt meet up on sunday.

caus i hafto go visit my busu's grandfather at hougang.

bi's going to ton tomorrow. awwwww!

tmr am going town. i do not know why.

LOL. no lur, to get a bikini(perhaps) and my shorts.

i miss bi<3

please for goodness sake, go get a life if you dont like us together.

it has nothing to do with you, you or you!

yes! and for goodness sake, im already ATTACHED, yes

ATTACHED TO MUHAMMAD DZULHIJRAH BIN ROSLI<3

so quit asking me for stead and yadayada.

=.-

thankiu so much!

for those who supported me & us !

we're very grateful, thankiu so nice(:

i love you people!

yesterday night

2008-11-20T18:37:00.000-08:00

stay, don't stray baby

practically, yesterday sucks :(
because bi's not in singapore and he didnt text me,
till later in the night (:
puff puff puff and yadayada.
smoke your life away baby!~
(mental, note)
okay.. so last night had another late night talk with my bitch.
she actually forgotten to call me =.-
and i top up my prepaid for her
(be honoured, bitch!)
MUAHAHAH:D
halfway, bi texted me i was practically screaming inside.
poor bitch, gta wait for me to finish text him.
awwwwwwww!
bi :
pertama kali ku mencintaimu,hatiku sayu tak dapat bertemu,
tapi ku tawu walaupun jauh, kau tetap dalam ingatanku..
ingin berjumpa tidak kesampaian, hati terluka saat ditinggalkan,
kasih mengapa kau dustai jua, cinta yang telah kita bina..
i tetap sygkan u walau aperh pon..
jgn sedyh tau angin syg baby..hehe..have a good rest kkz..
Muax angin misses u..gd nite putriku!
yes, although i dont quite know what it means (:
muahahha:D and then he send me this :
i love u,u love me,lets go out and kill barney, with a shotgun bang bang
hanging on the floor no more purple dinosaur!
LOL. how random & cute can he be?
so then he told me about danny, yes danny.
i do not know why. but its okay!
he said, danny was practically teasing him and say
"chey, angin..baby sheyy.."
and he cant help but smile (:
awwwwww. sweetface!
so back to late night talk. yesterday night was about;
shopping, great singapore sale, reunion,soulmates, angel
guidance, crush, breast (LOL), and i cant remember.
for goodness sake, my busu knows this person who
is bloody related to my little little crush. oh god!
but it doesnt matters now, i've my beloved bf(:
and and im TIONGXIM(faithful) to him okay!
muahaha!busu says if im not attached maybe she'll ask
her friend to kind of introduce my lil lil crush to me.
but hack, i already know him=.-
rewind.
oh yes, we did talk about dance too!
oooooooh! im so excited we gna or maybe might do this dance
thing together.. wheeeeeee~!
bitch was practically complaining that im not concentrating caus was
texting bi half the time, and he's in johor for goodness sake.
so, we(me & bi) keep saying ok ciao, ok ciao. but we still
reply & text =.- so my bicth got very annoyed(i think?)
so told bi i gtg concentrate on my talk. muahahah!
yes, he ask me to concentrate on my talk and the usual sweet stuffs.
woooots! my first ever boyfriend who did not bloody hell,
not allow me to talk to my bitch that kind of thing. and
he supports me okay! how sweeeeeeet?
now, i do not know why bi's friends are practically viewing my
friendster profile and adding me up *shy*
LOL.
yes, and we did talk about some whores in school.
bitch talk, alright.
shall not elaborate, lest anyone gets suspicious or even
they think we're talking bout them
(jangan perasan lur!are you a whore?)
LOL. okay lur. nvermind,
teh rest shall be history oh secrets!
*baobei dirty litlle secret with me oi!*
and and , bloody hell i got no idea why she suddenly ask me
"darls, whats your bra size eh?"
me: "damn it, we're only revealing everything on the 24th"
okay. ciao peoples!
ima go buy ciggs & wait for my bi to text me oi!
yesyes, TATA!
GOODBYE EARTHLINGS(:

a new beginning

2008-11-19T23:51:00.000-08:00

love spells a new beginning for me & you

okay, lets do this in sequence(:
yesterday before i went to work, i went to buy ciggs.
bad thing :( no menthol only got menthol light.
i was like : "ohhhhh, dont do this to me, please?"
LOL. i cant take light, whatever light it is caus i'll end up sick.
no choice, wanna save money so i bought next red :D
$10.00 lur siol=.-
only got texas 5 menthol and 2ocent more ex.
sick of texas5 alr :(
was texting bi half the time. asked if he want us to remain
the way we are or just be normal friends?
it's not that im not used to this kind of intimate names,
but i dont want to because of this and he cant go get a gf
& yadayada (idk how to explain lur)
HAH. he said, he want us to be together(as in a relationship)
but too bad, im not ready:(
i told him, its about the responsibility & the future not NOW.
he said, he's willing to take it (:
awwwwwww!
so,i asked him to pop the question at night around 10.30pm.
so i can discuss with my bitches !
yes, they're the first on my mind(:
texted them and baobai said this :
since you want it, and he wants it. and you both know
sooner or later you'll be together, why not now?
how nice is that? :D
deear dont really approve, caus of the "time".
it's too fast and i reunited with him less than a week.
(a day more to a week)
that's today!
LOL. but both my bitches supported me to go with my heart(:
work's boring, ultimately.
went home, called my bitches...
then another conference with my life most important 2 bitch.
muahahah:D
we talked and crapped and to take my mind away from him,awhile.
we talked about babies and marriage and breast.
yes, almost forgotten. everyone knows i "HATE" babies:(
to me, they're a nuisance (i know, im bad) yes i do not deny they're cute.
but yesterday on my way to work, i passed by this nursery.
i cant help but looked inside, these adorable bunch of toddlers,
with so much noise to make just didnt fail to make me smile.
for a moment, i like kids :D they sort of bring
bliss,purity,happiness,liveness and many more to one life.
okay, i admit this, im good at playing with toddler but not babysit them!
most of the babies i carried on my arm, just didnt fail to sleep:(
idky. i know people says my hugs are like bear =.-
enough, back to the topic...
marriage = sex =babies
everyone knows that. as much as everyone knows i hate marriages.
no, not actually hate. it's having a phobia of.
*goodness sake people,stop physchoing me okay!*
baobei says: why not get married and fuck everyday but use a condom
instead? =.= goddamnit.
she thinks nobody will ever wants to marry her,
so deear pictured her in a house with full of furniture.
everything she needs except a husband and childrens and grandchildrens.
poor thing :( [no, im still not getting married]
and then she'll have freckles, and wrinkles with crooked nose(muahhaha:D)
and and saggy breast =.-
awwwww!
okay then we talked about breast, yes...
how hollywood stars mummehhy can have their figure so nice,
after giving birth, their breast so firm and yadayada.
easy, caus they have the moolahs!
to go to slimming centre, hire personal nutritionist, hire personal
gym instructor, go for breast firming or whatever.
GOODNESS SAKE!
aiyo, i mean c'mon. marriage is a lifetime thing, you bitch!
it's a lot more commitment and effort and everything else.
=.-
nobody understand my point of marriage, even my bloody angel
(royhan) keeps trying to change my point of view towards marriage.
stop it, so i texted bi.
then he says he's not ready yet caus he dont wanna get his heart damaged.
MUAHHAH:D
c'mon, i dont timer guys lur!
yes, once bitten twice shy, still i will try:D
my motto oi!
so he popped that question...
and and... i still question him about so many things.
in the end i said "AIS SIR TWO JUICE"
(pronounce it = I SETUJU [i agree])
LOL. he's happy but he's afraid im not=.-
silly boy(:
my point of view at that time:
it's either now or never. i don't wanna end up
losing him again. and 4 years of waiting is very very long.
although we didn't knew who's the other half in our
dream, we didn't gave up on waiting.
now that we've found each other, it's a pity to give up.
so yes! i will never regret caus even if we were to be
seperated in the future, i will never regret because
my dream came true, i think bi feels the same(:
20NOVEMBERo8<3
00:11 hours!
Bi, cant come online today :( because of his mummy.
and and he's off to johor and will be back only tomorrow.
couldn't text him, i feel so sad :(
(prepaid low lur!)
but i'll wait, i swear!
dont forget your putri oi, bi!
muahahah:D
so so so...
i added this guy on friendster, then he adds me back,
then i add him,now we're friends(:
LOL, danny's the name.
didn't knew he's bi best buddy (:
we intro intro then he told me ...
o.o okay lur. hope i get to know bi more from him.
muahhah:D

distance cant measure,our feeling for each other

time can prove our willingness (:

since it's all fated this way,

may god bless us !

:(

2008-11-18T23:05:00.000-08:00

tarduh!
im feeling more miserable than ever,
i do not get to go to hougang caus its so gna rain.
and i couldnt drench myself before going to work.
i couldnt meet my dreamboy.
then i couldnt meet my friends :(
then i've no ciggs with me, completely none!
then, i was forced to bloody eat.
then i feel like i wanna go sleep.
so i do not know what i should do, idk why i on the computer either.
i felt very lost, and i couldnt call my baby bitch caus she
having her drum lesson, i dont wanna call my bitch either,
caus i dont want to disrupt her :(
bi is off to find back his bicycle, which got stolen yesterday.
(i think?)
LOL. couldnt remember.
my hearts confused. i dont want just another fling.
if i can choose, i'll make this one a clandestine affair.
i dont want no, one minute man.
i feel like killing myself(who dont?,when they have troubles)
i suddenly remember its been a long long time since,
i've last eat a chocolate. maybe that could bring back my
appetite(: but, i just ate chocolate 2 weeks ago.
and a miracle happened, i didnt finish it thus it went down
the drain(littering), yes. half a bar =.-
waste my money :(
my heart is beating hard now :(
i need a puff and i dont haf ciggs on me.
i think i need a rest now . goodbye.

19nov

2008-11-18T14:51:00.000-08:00

okay am blogging early in the morning (:
i couldnt go to sleep for some godsake, yes yes.
im practically tired, very.
i wished i could go to sleep, but tobacco meter is running out.
then then, i've tummy cramps :(
yesterday at work, was shit!
*i dont take joke, okay boss?*
LOL.
i bloody took my time to do my things, relax mode.
boss: "you fall off a bicycle today or what? you walk as if,
your butt hurts"*laugh*
me:*annoyed*NO
boss: "okay lur, uncle just joking.can put down your earpiece not?"
me:*annoyed*NO
LOL.
i didnt hear what my bosses said also, and hack.
i do not understand why do they ever have to discuss with me,
what they're gonna do to their stall and yadayada.
they said perhaps next year they gna take the whole unit
=2 stalls together
then they gna do teppanyaki(or something like that) & grilling.
so as usual, my boss act one bigshot, then say
"maybe if you work properly, i'll teach you how to grill"
=.-
i rolled up my eyes on him, and off to smoke break.
something unpleasant happened.
aini & mic came over and yadayada.
sadded man, not because of that hurting words she spits at me.
but because i lost a friend :(
BUT HACK, she doesn't even care.
all i wanted her to do was, pursue her heart and bloody not
hurt my bestie JAI, anymore!
zaman bile sey, nak cakap gangster nie sume=.-
bi thought it was dramatic, i think so too.
ohoh, moolahs running out.
i do not understand why i went to buy MARLBORO MENTHOL,
yesterday and am left with bloody 4 sticks!
:( all these taking a toll on me & my health.
bloody hell, how the hell did i get to smoke so much?
so am gna go buy MM again:(, today.
there fly my moolahs.
oooooh, am going down hougang today.
i do not know if bi's gna meet me.
so who wna meet me huh?
LOL. awhile nia. leaving hougang for work
at approximately 5.30(:
busu gna send me to work by bike.
awwwwwwww! i love bikes,
okay shaddup now.
i'm very apologetic to my bitch(baobei), becaus i didnt call her
after huffing and puffing. LOL.
texted her a gdnitey msg tho, but couldnt get to sleep after that.
her text to me:
its okay. i know you cant reply this and its okay too.
reduce puffing or i huff and puff and blow your house down!
good night princess. haha! catch up with you soon.
how cute is my bitch? LOL
she called me princess=.-
AWWWWWWW!
another 5 more days, exclude today...
havent started doing the presents though :(
but already started writing their letters(:
how nice an alpha am i, right bitch?
*self praise*
okay, lets do without all this.
i still do and can receive texts.
for those who took the effort to text me and crap
or whatever(:
am very grateful, people!
i love yoooooooooooooooooooooooou!
never fails to bake a smile out of me.
awwwwwww!
(i know i every time go like "awwwwww" my bitch
sometimes thought somebody pinched me=.-)
okay, reminiscing the late night talks, with so much
of imagining and sound effect, you betcha.
its very very very hilarious, sad, happy and sleepy.
c'mon its a late night talk, bitch!
almost forgotten, my deear bitch send me a text yesterday:
Bismillah,Dear Allah, The lady reading this is beautiful, classy
and strong and i love her. Help her live her life to the fullest.
Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations.
help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Protect her at all times, lifet her up when she needs You the most
and let her know when she walks with You, she will always be safe.
Love you:)

omg, i know i know.
i love her too and its unmeasurable.(is there a word like that<LOL. damn it bitch, you're making me tear!
iloveyou, iloveyou, i loveyou LAHHHH!
for all these while she make me believe in GOD.
& am so very very grateful to her.
okay, now lets all cut down smoking.
i've spend almost my whole "teenager" LIFE, puffing away=.-
god wont like me like that:(
awwwwww!
okay, am going to go to friendster now.
have a few friend request to accept lur.
goodbye, earthlings!

spammers

2008-11-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

no life, spammer=.-
see this :
i'm not a bitch. i'm "THE" BITCH(:
i dont know who you are, i dont want to know either.
so you better not let me know who you are.
i guess i know who you are.
say whatever you want, those worthless comment
aint gna bring me down (: dumbfuck!

AINI:
see this, i never said i was in love with MIC.
i never tergile2 pasal dier before okay!
and who dont know you're the one who tergile2 pasal mic.
since 2 years ago? so what if he's back?
stop calling and texting non stop telling me how much, he
miss me and whatever shit.
so what if he's "HOT" now?
and minah, dont forget you've a boyfriend okay!
and he's my close friend!
bloody leave him if you got this stupid crush for mic.,
dont hurt jai :( dun hurt him you slut,
stop acting one very good person trying to bring me
and mic together, caus it wont work. NEVER!

spoiler, always spoiling my mood(:
nevermind ohh!
last night bi left for johor.
sad siol, caus smth happened due to deja vu and and my moodswing.
ohh, so i had my late night talk with my bitches (individually)
while waiting for him to come back. LOL

bi:
farhana itu namamu, farhana sering di hatiku
sukarnya untuk bermanja dengan diriku,
tak sanggup ku kehilanganmu,
tak tertahan menunggu rindu..
ur dreamboy's back!

LOL. i laughed & laughed and cant stop laughing.
how cute can he be?
this morning.. was forced to wake up at 10+ to bloody
eat my meal.LOL. porridge?
i keep feeling like wana vomit, and grann says caus
my body cant take in food already so must force.
and im having periods so cant dont eat:(
am goin off now. got no mood to blog.
off to talk to bi.
LOL. byebye

here we go again

2008-11-16T23:59:00.000-08:00

here we go again..

i think my eating disorder is back :(
can somebody please drag me out of the bed to eat?
i've been waking up early i do not know why.
suddenly i felt, i've lost control of my body =.-
my right eye keep tearing(idky)
i remembered somebody said it's a symptom for idkw shit.
my leg bleeds when i didnt even scratch it :(
and and my heart problem is back, for goodness sake.
so, remembered bestie said if it beats hard and fast again,
drink cold cold water with plenty of ice.
(idky, either)
as much as im trying to stay happy, so much thing happened.
for a moment, i was lost. lost deep in thoughts.
i hate this heart thing, at times it beats so hard that the person
next person can hear it or when somebody touches me they can
feel it. practically my whole body will shiver from the beat.
not really shiver but you can see the whole body beating LOL.
and and thankiu for those who texted me to remind me to keep
away from cold cold water & carbonated drinks because of period=.-
i was always the abnormal sort,
either i eat too much or i dont eat.
eat also complain, dont eat also complain. idk what you want from me.
ooooh, for some reason im not having my moodswings, idky.
its just that i became more lethargic.
6more days to go..
i've not bought a single thing nor prepare any.
"sweet for my sweets"
my theme for this year.
didnt had late night talk yesterday, i was too tired.
my phone batt is like gna die any moment.
too lazy to charge either.
i forgotten what i've planned to typed.
i've no mood either. a moment ago was talking bout
moodswings now it swings me :(
goodbye lover & friends(:

tell me if its me that you want

2008-11-16T05:53:00.000-08:00

tell me if its me that you want

_!_ up:(
just got back from work, work's boring today.
less than 20 customer or even less than 10.
=.- i found out so many things, so distraughting.
first, i've accept all friend requests already. but they're
not up yet and and i cant view their profile.
what is wrong with friendster?
(1 example):
i added dreamboy,
then he added me (& we're still not friends)=.-
so i end up adding him again.
2nd thing was:
my blog's song. was supposed to be the full version,
i do not know why it's only 30sec long:(
so pissed off.
well, only 1 thing pleases me when i went online(:
b's offline message to me.

Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlas sent 11/16/2008 8:46 PM:
where's ur dreamguy...??
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlas sent 11/16/2008 8:46 PM:
pat sini waiting for u...every time..every day..every moment
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlas sent 11/16/2008 8:46 PM:
luvs u luhs
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlas sent 11/16/2008 8:46 PM:
tkcr my b
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlas sent 11/16/2008 8:46 PM:
hhaah

LOL. (:
how cute can he ever be?
he claims he's cuter than me yesterday=.-
well well, b's working up on his sweet talks.LOL.
(first example):
pertama kali ku lihat wajahmu,
wajahmu sering bermain di mataku,
suaramu selalu terdengar memanggil namaku,
ternyata kita sedang bercinta,
pasti suatu hari kita kan berpisah,
cintaku hanya untukmu saja,
tiada orang ketiga:D

(second example):
pertama kali terpandang wajahmu,
senyuman mu memikat hatiku,
inginku berjumpa dengan mu,
luas kan rasa hatiku,
berikan lah aku peluang menuju bayang kasih & cinta,
memberi cinta sepenuhnya pandamu ouh farhana:D

LOL.
i'm a total idiot, i've nothing to do.
(: am so glad my baby bitch is over that "guy"
and am heading my advice & suggestions.
ooooooh! you've grown up now, bitch!
i bitch not one, but two of them:D

[baby tell me if its me that you want]

whatever may fall

2008-11-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

whatever may fall, i am ready (:

friendster's still screwed _!_ everyone lost their friend.
no wonder i've much lesser emails and much lesser
(totally no) new comment=.-
can please readd friendster please? thankiu so nice:D
=.- add alr still cant view, wat seyy.
MIA MIA, stress stress, anything beep me (:
im going away-ay-ay-ay..
i will blog lur, but ohhh.
i still miss you alll

senseless

2008-11-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

senseless

last night bitches late night talk wasnt so much
of a fun:( caus i couldnt concentrate,
i use my house phone to call so therefore, they
start killing me when i need to go for my smoke break.
what else?work is tiring, so i was in my sleeping mode as
usual. bestie they all know,when my sleeping mode struck me.
=.-
i couldnt really remember what we said last night,
i was too restless, deear was hungry & excited, baby bitch
was sad and excited then sad again:(
LOL.
then bestie msged me telling something so disrupting,
got me thinking the whole night.
until now, am still thinking hard.
im so sorry, i cant blog about what we said, as promised.
something highly confidential, regarding many people.
okay am so excited now, msging my B(:
LOL. i cant remember how he looks like now,
but its okay. caus i've found him.
muahahah:D
am gna go entertain my bitch now.
gdbye, blog again later !(:

angin nyer dreamgirl lur

2008-11-15T06:10:00.000-08:00

LOL.
i just got back from work, since didi is alr back so
that means lesser time online = less post:(
okay lur, muahahah:D
went to work today, took the shortcut, then this 2
malay guy staring at me =.-
LOL. i thought that got smth wrong wit me.
then i walk like normal lur, i think they scared by the
way i walked=.- then they taking the stairs while
i waiting for them to walk faster.
then this guy gave way and said "hi",my closest ppl
know how i walked, fast(:
i didnt even looked at him nor did i look back.
i think i walked too fast for them to catch up with.
today another embarrassing day for me=.-
i've no penny left on me, just that i didnt borrowed.
and and, i took altog 3 stiks from my lady boss=.-
so so so malu lur.
was texting dreamguy most of the time, so wasnt really boring.
(: found out we've so much in common for character
and he posesses all the quality im looking for in a bf.
muahahah!
didn't i mentioned i had this "thang" for racer?
LOL. shocked to find out, he's a racer too.
so i said: "ohhhh.dont make me fall for you"
definitely, he replies with a laugh.
went for my smoke breaks with royce my adeq angkat.
kecoh lur he, kaypoh want to find out abt my b.
=.- in the end when we knew he's a racer.
royce keep bugging me to ask him from what group lur,
what name, what colour bike, and if can give his number
caus he wants to make fren with him=.-
LOL. i gave up, i just give his number and found out b
stared at him a few days ago from head to toe.
i told b, "klau my adeq ade pape, gua goyang pun turun lur"
i back him mahh.
b's phone is flat now, and am waiting to call my bitch for another
late night talk now(: ooooohh. im so excited.
oh and b told his friend that he found his dreamgirl.
they thought he dreaming=.- then ask him to bring
me go down lepak one day.
LOL.
royce asked when i plan to go into a relationship with dreamboy?
i said "next year lur"
LOL. why he more excited than me?
kaypoh jehk tau.
my last msg to b, the last part was funny lol.
asked him go tell all the girl that he's mine,
"blang pompan2 tu sumer, ANGIN BABY NYER LUR SIAL"
=.- couldnt really remember what we said lur.
but i know he's got everything i wanted.
&& im so proud of him.
but in the noon i made him sad, i cried so did he.
;( because of my last "LOVE"
but its okay now, i dont wanna elaborate either.
all i know is, he willing to wait for me no matter how long
i need or if ima go fall in love with another guy.
he'll still wait.
caus we believe, in the end we'll still be together(:
we've 1 thing that all my ex-es dont have with me,
FATE & the same dream.
b, i sygkan u tau!
lol. i duno since when i become so malay-ish.
tsk tsk tsk.
goodnitey earthlings(:
i'ma go dissapear myself infront of the monitor to infront
of my house phone.
naughty late night talks, starting..
3....
2...
1....
*shy*im still here lur.
OKAY I KNOW ITS LAME.
tata, now!

late night talk

2008-11-14T22:02:00.000-08:00

late night talk; sex & the city

LOL. last night was chatting away on the phone wit
my baby bitch (: guess what? we chat for 4hours and more=.-
I KNOW! like wtf?
maybe caus we've so much to talked about and yadayada.
told her about dreamboy lur, definitely.
still i cant accept he's the one, i swear.
maybe it's so soon. yes i did expect him to appear in my life,
soon. with all those horoscopes thing saying something like
he's gna appear on the 13th and whats not.
BUT I HAVENT GOTTEN OVER SOMEONE ELSE,
and he appeared=.- i've totally no that (zzzzzzzzz) kind of feeling.
(zzzzzzzzz=attracted to him nor that love struck feeling)
talked to baobei about so much things,we've so much to catch up on.
oh, we didnt really talked about sex lur.
we talked bout marriage and the past and yadayada.
she said she gna save to buy that polaroid kind of camera= $100+
LOL. just for our biatches reunion.
godsake =.-
we talked about our special features (:
baobei= big boobs (lol, i envy her lur)
me= my big eyes (obviously)
deear= her dimples (awwww! so cute!)
we talked bout boobs and many more.
girls talk *wink*
ohoh, im meeting her on idk which sunday before the reunion.
so that we can go to town and hit the store and perhaps,
buy a monokini then to cotton on to buy that shorts(:
i knw, cotton on having sales:(
that day after i bought my lousy mp4, i saw it.
if i havent bought my mp4, i could merely get 3 bras and 5thongs
or whatever else (:
tsktsk, bad luck, i've no penny left that day.
(have lur, but not enough)
last night talk, made me almost teared then a moment later i
was laughing so hard=.- then as usual i go like
"shut up, bitch!"
due to my poor stm, i will like say something and another
moment i forget it, so my poor bitch hafto remind me
and say "we stopped at....."
muahaha:D
Ritzy, our dream (:
to open a fashion retail outlet.
somehow it faded away, but then we realise we had passion
in weddings so if deear is still in.
we might open our own wedding planner kind of boutique.
im so excited=.-
RITZY THE WEDDING BOUTIQUE,
PLANNER FOR THE PERFECT WEDDING AND PLAN
FOR WHATEVER YOU WANT US TO PLAN.
lol. that's what my bitch said.
we could talked like till the next morning but sad thing,
my poor bitch got tuition the next day so she had to turn in(:
sent her a text :
Gdnitey bitch(: u'll always my baby.im just a fone call away!
nw be gud and go to bed.talk to u again tmr.sweet dreams.
whatever u choose,i'll walk it down wit u.
SHE SAID ITS THE SWEETEST MSG SHE EVER RECEIVED(:
i didnt cry last night bitch, you're my strength.
not forgetting my deear, she's my courage :D

up till now, i still couldnt believe he's my dreamguy.
everyone's so shocked. i am shocked myself.
knowing my dreamguy is someone i knew in my first
primary school and yada.
texted him just now(:
so i said, "i want to ask u a question, if you get it wrong
means you're not that guy(:"
so i asked: if he's sitting on my right or my left, in the dream.
his answer: left
i doubled check : "on my left?"
he said yes.
=.- i know, its correct lur. but i cannot still accept the fact.
he asked what other questions i have to ask?if i dont believe,
he dont know what to say.
i said :
i dont know.gimme sum time lur.i haven got over my last love yet
ur arrival is too sudden for me.im sorry.
i know very sad lur :(
he said:
its okay, he'll wait for my arrival.
i think this is all so wrong, wrong things at the wrong time.
but people said: "maybe he's here at this time to help, you
get over that you-know-who mess"

Break me off, show me what you got
Cause I don`t want, no one minute man

(:back

2008-11-14T05:38:00.000-08:00

okay, im here blogging after work (:
dreamboy went for his religious class oi!
and my baby bitch replies so late =.-
i dont know what to do.
so im here blogging(:
MUAHAHAH!:D
today at work, first smoke break went to my usual place.
before that i saw this 3 malay guys walking lur, so far away, across
the playground to somewhere further i guess?
then smoke halfway, they walked pass me.
then 2 metres away, they stopped.
looked at me =.- then i stare at them.
then they turn 1 round and walk back, for a moment they stopped.
then i stare at them, then they walked off=.-
0.o?LOL.
stare stare, funny meh?
work halfway as usual starting so boring.
so i just slack at the coffeeshop, then this group of guys keep
staring at me =.-
AWWWWW! hate people staring at me lur.
(daddy know me best!)
actually i dont like to stare at people, but if they stare..
you must stare back!
muahaha:D
one aunty strike 4D treat everyone drink(:
got free drink, muahahah!
then then we got busier, so much customer all at one go.
i almost scald myself again=.-
then i kay siao wann return the 2$ to ah pao uncle.
guess what?
he say "nevermind nevermind" with his hands stretching out.
=.- pissed off lur, 2$ fly. still tell granny what he give me wan.
*smack ur face uh*
then busy busy all the way. walk here and there,
still must deliver go next coffeeshop then take back the tray.
awwwww! lucky i still get my smoke break.
i think im so dumb:( stupid stm, make me feel so dumb.
one moment i was looking at a customer taking order,
the next i couldnt remember the customer nor what he/she orders.
hais,
okay now. friendster's still faulty :(
im'a go call my baby bitch now, and wait for dreamboy to
finish his religious class :D
goodbye, earthlings!
&& gdniteys!

dumb

2008-11-13T23:06:00.000-08:00

okay, im so frustrated now :(
dreamboy said by .30 he'll be on, perhaps he had already
forgotten about me =.-
but i dont care, i only know hate liars and he didnt
bother to text me and tell me that he's not coming online
or yadayada.
i forgo my sleep just to wait, i've waited for almost 40mins now.
:( PISSED OFF, and plus period is really killing me.
it hurts like nobody business, and i dont have the energy to stuck my
ass out of this chair, and i've rot here for 2 hours or so.
DREAMBOY, IF YOU SEE THIS ; IM ANGRY WITH YOU!

argggggh,
i just came across ena sistarh's blog(:
i saw her post that meant for me.
BABY SIS ;sis , i will bE dere .for , you should kNW
i am nort a girl with sweet talks , and stuffs .
i just wish-d ddat , you can like forgo evrything ?
life's ish destined , at tyms we wished we wouldn't fall in loved
cus we won't get hurt in ddat way
.but we doesn't have any choice ahs .if
, you are sth to him , he will be back-d
.i didn't kNW what happend , but thy only thing i knw ish
ddatmy dear baby sis won't be hurt cus of ddat small thing
dda ahs !& i hope so ahs !jiayous sis !
you have my greatest support ^^

how sweet is that? but it just hurts me when i read that part
"but thy only thing i knw ish ddat my baby sis won't be hurt
cus of ddat small thing dda ahs !"
i used to be independant, very independant in the past.
everyone used to depend on me(:
always stealing free hugs & kisses from me.
i'll do almost anything to make my loved ones feel good.
ena, for you, my kiss :XX
hah, remember those time when you wanted my kiss so badly.
(we're not les lur.kiss on the cheeks)
during this time, many reminded me of my past.
you never knew how much it kills me :(
how much it hurts. i dont want to dissapoint anyone,
neither do i wanna go back on my words.
gimme some time, to climb back sisters.
i'll make a comeback.
you have my words, if i go back on them,
by all means come and get me(:
(i'll be waiting here)
i got a lecture by few people few days ago.
how nice and kind i am to all these people, how ruthless
i'll never be if i were to fight with them.
how will i never hurt them.
=.= (dont want to continue, lame siao)
and and that 2 girls uh, sorry uh, i never meant to
stare at you lur :(
dont come find me leis.
i very scared :XX
i not scared you come, i scared you NEVER come only!
wu ji ka ka lai lur, limbu sat sat wait for you.
stare stare no use lur, 2 on 1 come lo.
IM NOT SUM CHUAN PO FOR NOTHING HOR!
SIA SUEY MY NAME ONLY!
=.= but now i good girl lurr, dont come lei..
if you zun wan come hor, your water uh standby full full uh.
want me? come get me and give me your best :D

waiting in process

2008-11-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

:D i just bathed, && am waiting for dreamboy to
come online. he's off to pray then buy ciggs.
LOL. told him i will go bathed and then go to sleep.
but i cant sleep now:( my hair's still wet.
i tried on my bikini just now, and see if it fits(:
well, i dont wanna spend on buying another bikini,
cause i seldom use them anyway.
but maybe if i buy a monokini then it'll be great lur.
cause it's a 1 suit piece then i can wear em to the swimming pool(:
(if i ever go to one)
but after yesterday incident, i found out how important it is
to save my moolahs.
period's here :( am having bad bad tummy cramp.
i dont feel like going to work, i dont feel like eating
nor do i feel like moving around. so tarddduh! i wont be suprise
to blog a few more later (i know i blogged a lot alr today)
BUT friendster _!_ fucked up :( cant go in.
i dont know what i should do now.
oh caus of tummy cramp caus me to keep smoking.
then i'll feel better, i know CRAPS.
i dont have chocos you see, :(
&& i found this chinese song that i wanted to find long time
ago but but i keep forgetting.
"ni zhe me she de wo nan guo/ zui ai ni de ren shi wo"
sad sad sad =.-
ohh, i found the han yu pin yin lyrcs to it.
& i forgotten that eversince i deleted my (idk what you call that)
-user lurr.
i lost all my songs + my chinese songs.
so this user (now shared by all)
only got a few, didi's chinese favourite songs.
granny just came back, told her about the "$2" thing.
then she call ah pao uncle, then he say he give me one, dont need pay
LOL.
cute lur sial.
45 mins more to go then my dreamboy wil be online(:
off to play some fucked up games.
goodbye earthlings!

my dreamboy(:

2008-11-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

(another convo)
`SHOCKING!

Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
bucuk dreamgirl
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ehleh, bucuk pun u suke pe =.-
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hehes
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
yer luhs dream girl punyerh psl
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
(: uhuh
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
tkder ur pix lagi ker.....
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
i still wanted to remember about the primary skool thingay
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
takde uh, i deleted the rest. got 1 lur, wit the guy i last loved.
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
ouhk....
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ohhh, yg tu. takde. i swear i look very ugly with short hair
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hehes
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
ok perh
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
=.- NO NOT OKAY!
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
SMALAM 13 KANNN?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
yup2
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
asl?
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
i swear my last post, u read...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
i wrote "my horoscope says by 13th my life will change" ohhhh. its teh day i found you !!!
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
really...
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
wah its really a fate
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
thats whyyy
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
i didn notic until now
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hahs
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
terkejut japp
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
uhuh lurrr... it's all fated, dreamboy(:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
yup2...its really2 fated...Dreamgirl(:
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
MUAHAHAH. i'll never forget this .
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
same2
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
idk what to sayy lur =.- all these just so in time. just 3 days ago i talked about you to my bitches now, you're here with me(:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
s
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
wat do you talk about me???
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
LOL. i said about the dream then i said how much i wanted to find you. i said maybe you didnt even existed =.-
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
then they say god knows, if it's time you 'll show up(:
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
be glad dreamboy, i added you. if not we never would find each other.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
and and, i rarely add people on msn ehh. duno why i added you also
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
ya.....hah
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
its really2....fated manx
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
totally blank
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
dont noe wat to sae
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
anyway, remember about the tarot cards, i told you yesterday? i just went online and try it again(:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
den2??
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
outcome : The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
i got the empress card (:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
means?
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
there, its stated there pe. joy & happiness. and blah blah
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
how you feel about yourself now (The Star)
You feel there is hope, or if you don’t, have faith - a tranquil period is imminent. If you have been ill, suffered bereavement or disappointment in love, take heart, good fortune is on its way. New horizons are indicated and you will feel a new zest for life. This is your wish card - if considering a new love affair, new job or career, or travel, then g
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
what you most want at this moment (Temperance)
The cards suggest putri, that what you most want at this time is some peace and harmony, a sense of control and to feel that life is flowing again. Perhaps you have been, or still are, going through some tough times regarding a relationship, financial worries or some other kind of loss. Take heart that peace will be restored - this is a time for you
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
your fears (The High Priestess)
You are feeling uneasy and insecure, something in your gut is saying ‘be careful, all is not as it seems’ - something just doesn’t feel right. If so, delay any decisions or actions until you have answered your concerns. If male this could signify a significant woman in your life being a bad influence.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
what is going for you (The Fool)
This is an exciting time with much potential for fun and good times. Your confidence should be high, it's a great time for new possibilities. If you are considering leaving your job, home or relationship, in time you will. An unexpected desire will be fulfilled, even before you express it!
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
except for what is going for me: is a bad part
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
haiyo
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ye lur(: imma go see my horoscope now
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
Quickie
It's time to bring out your secret weapon: Your amazing conversational abilities!
Overview
Your education never ends -- and today sends you some new and interesting course materials! You may stumble over them on the net or it could be that a new instructor pops up in your life.
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hehes
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
okok go
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ooops. salahh, that one yesterday nyer
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
Daily Singles:
Are you wishing for a sizzling affair? As much as a passionate connection seems like the ideal, in reality passion can burn out quickly if both parties have nothing in common except for lust. A stable foundation is the best option.
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
wow!
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
muahaha.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ape lur?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
da check u nyer horoscope
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
dahh.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
muahaha.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
jap jap. ape u nyer horoscope eh?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
gemini
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
jauh sey
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
hahah. jap jap
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
uuu....too bad to say...
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
i gtg kul 12....
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
haiz..
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
okay, lur
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
asal haiz?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
nnti i online alik
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
what tiem/
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
kul 2.30 gituk
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ohh, nanti you nak online you msg me lur. i come online(: after you go i blog jap. beh i gi mandi beh i gi bambam
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
huh tido agik..
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
ok lah dreamgirl
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
sanggup pagi2 online just to wait for me...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
1 day i mesti tido 12hours tau. hari nie i bangun siang seyy
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
sanggup pagi2 online just to wait for me...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ye lur beh tak bleh tido. kan excited.. you pun pe...
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
samerh2....
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
heheheh
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
proud sia dpt jumper dreamgirl
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
(: hahah. tau lur, sume my ex pun proud pe ble ngan i tak tau asal=.- beh dorg gi blang kawan2
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
slener part of miek>>>
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
LOL.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ape u nyer first name eh?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
first name??
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
uh uh.
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
MUHAMMAD DZULHIRAH BIN ROSLI
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
choose uhk maner satu full name
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
tau,, love score kite how much?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
how???
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
i bet you will be shock . first time in my whole life i see so high.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
guess dulu
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
how much
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
80??
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
nop
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
85?
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
nop
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
95?
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
nop
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
100
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hahs
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
takkan 100 nyer lur
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
87
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
98.4%
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hu?!
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
shock kann?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
really??
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
http://www.mylovecal.com/Gemini-Rooster-DZULHIRAH,Aquarius-Rooster-norfarhana
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
gi tengok uh
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
kkk...
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
ah2 luhs...
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
its fate mahs...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
yg part about her tu.. mostly betul (:
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
shock kannn?
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
kan kan kan?
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
yayayay
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
hahs....
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
u...ur dreamboy gtg...
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
okok luhs....
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
okay !(:
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
tkcr kkkk
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
msg meeeeeee!
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
jgn miss you later u cant stop sneezing
Pantat! Smoking Without a Tobacco--Found u atlast! says:
okok bye2...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ye, (:
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
tata1

show me the light

2008-11-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

yesterday was the most pathetic day i ever ever had :(
NO ciggerates, and im left with only 20cents.
then i went to work so paisei must ask from lady boss cigs.
both smoke break take from lady boss=.-
then, after first smoke break.. i very thirsty sey.
but left with 20cents, because i lend to my very very very loving brother(:
all my penny =.-
so i so shy to borrow from boss :(
i went to borrow from granny's best friend (her idol)LOL.
i so shy :S told him wanted to borrow $1.00 buy drink.
then he stand up, i chua sai(frightened).
lol.in the end the table on top got 1 $ he lend me,
then i wna walk away that time he ask me give him back teh 1$,
LOL. he lend me 2$ instead.
=.- i say 1$ enough lur, then he say nvm nvm take 2$.
never see people like that before.
work was boring, ahgong came to pick me up since didi's not around.
LOL. wahile waiting he drink with the uncles over there.
i finish work, i drag him home.
last night, i shed tears again. this time only buchuk knew.
she found out, =.-
LOL. so i told her everything that's in me.
& i forgotten what she say.
hah, yesterday borrowed her phone msged dreamguy, my dear(bitch)
& bestie.
LOL. bestie asked how cute can i be? 0.o?
caus i got stm and im so young, ask me eat more brains=.-
yucks!
bitch was telling me how that "green person"
miss-called her and yadayada aftermath we talked about my D-guy(:
dreamguy was busy yesterday.
&& oh, he's gdnitey msg to me was the shortest i ever received from a guy.
=.- (even the "you-know-who" send me much longer)
ohhh! and much sweeter tooo.
awwwww, i love sweetnothings(:
ok now, gdbye earthlings!

(dreamguy coming to view my bloggy)

my heart skipped a beat

2008-11-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

for a moment i was lost, but this time i was lost with you.

i could be the happiest girl, when i found my dream guy.
i almost screamed my lungs out.
another moment, i was bursting into tears.
how sweet is it, to know someone dreamt of you and to find
out the both of you have been waiting for 4 years(:
how nice is it, to find each other?
you'll never know. maybe its all fated, like they say
"what's yours to be, will eventually be"
but to add to all these, whats more.. if you know all that you've been
waiting for was someone you knew 9 years ago, and got seperated
a year after and eventually found him 4 years after the dream?
its been 4 years now, yet we're still clinging on this dream.
it's nice to know how much this dreamt meant to him,
till he actually wrote it on a paper and cut it and keep it in his wallet.
is this love? idk. but what we know now is, we love the person
in the dream not each other, not now for at least.
i've no hard feelings now, neither do i wanna invest any.
the one before, was a mere deep infatuation.
a silly and memorable one (:
now, back to reality. we've to face this truth that we uncover.
god's will, if we're fated to be, no matter how many years later,
we'll eventually be (:
i miss you dream guy.
if you ever see that guy in my dream please tell him i miss him.

(okay, for those nosey pokers.who says im imagining things and i
fall in love unnecassary, please. we related our dreams and it's
almost close to each other,yes maybe he'd lie.but trust, is what
i have for all my friends, until you betrays them)

convo 1

2008-11-13T00:36:00.000-08:00

Keep Continuing the Journey says:
aper luhs
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
sanggup sey
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
eee. i tertuptup lur, the convo. send agi ...
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
sanggup sey
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
sanggup to chat with me tk pakai conditioner
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
oh tak suke takpe, next time je.. i mandi lambat lambat . u tunggu uh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
apersey
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
hah! da, i tak nak uh ckp ngan u lagi. mrajok uh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
huh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
apersey
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
i tk ckp paperh aleh2 majok
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
alalal
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
jgn luh majok
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
hahah (: okay lur,
Keep Continuing the Journey sends:
Open(Alt+P)
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
lagu tadie
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
slh send uhs tadie nyerk
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
i kan princess (: muahaha, suke hati uh i nak mrajok ke pe . (psssssst... i senang mrajok tau)
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
yerluh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
dream girl nyer psl
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
hahs
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
hahaha. tak suke tak peee..
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
suker2.....
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
so.....
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
tgh buart aperh niek
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
takya uh pakse diri (: tak buat pape
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
aperjek u niek
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
abeh kan u said dat ader duer lelaki mintak ur picture
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
izit him...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
him? sape him?
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
kan u ckp i mintak ur pix abeh ader lagi satu laki mintak ur pix pon
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
uhuh. asal? jealous ehh?
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
tk luhs
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
tyer jek
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
behh.. o.o the another guy is dj mok lurr. yg kasi comment kat my friendster
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
ouh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
confident seyh....
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
confident? pe?
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
ur frenster shoutout
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
hehes
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ehleh, da lupe uh, i taruk ape. i ade stm uh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
asl stm plaks
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
tak tau =.-

The file luahan hati original-iskandar feat jai.mp3 was scanned and determined to not contain a virus.

You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Homes\My Documents\My Received Files\luahan hati original-iskandar feat jai.mp3 from Keep Continuing the Journey.

♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ohhh. you ckp tak de courage nak g ngok my friendster beh g tengok jugak
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
"cause im your baby, your baby, your baby, your baby I THINK I FOUND YOU, BABY!"
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
hehes
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
ehleh, beh u pun confident pe... i pun tak kata its meant for you!
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
eh...
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
i just said seyh.....
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
haizz....
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
lah, takmo lurrr.. haizz2. asal plak ?
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
entah
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
saket kepaler ahs
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
asal? da lahh, tak main2 lagi lur. (: ye lahh, tu shoutout meant for you. suke?
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
ouh...
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
serious angin tk bedek
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
saket kepaler seyh
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
gi bambam lurr.
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
gi mamam panadol beh gi bambam(:
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
aperjek
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
hahs
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
jap2...
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
kate sakit kepale=.-
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
yer luhs
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
nak mamam panadol
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
oh,, gi uh
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
kkk
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
jap ehk...brb
♥the QUEEN of swords says:
okay
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
angins back
Keep Continuing the Journey says:
hehs

(my convo withh him)
awwww!

my dream guy

2008-11-12T22:08:00.000-08:00

i cant resist not blogging about this moment,
it meant a lot to me(:
firstly, i was on friendster when i chance upon this
friendster profile of someone.
looked thru his pictures, and realise that he's my
ex schoolmate (: from my first primary school.
commented him, but received no reply.
so i added him on msn and we talked.
sadly, he couldnt remember me. caus i've changed so
darn much. i dont have my old old photo though.
so i divert attention to my brother, perhaps he would remember.
yes, he did have an impression on didi. but not me :(
we're talking halfway when i say
"of caus you wont remember me caus i mix with chinese more"
LOL.
he said he know lur.
i say "cam paham je =.-"
LOL. to my shock, he said he dreamt of me 0.o?
i know, like wtf? I WAS LIKE...
YOU DONT KNOW ME EXCUSE ME?
he said, he had a dream of this girl, 4 years ago if he's not wrong.
i was shocked, very very shocked.
i had this dream about that "dream guy" 4 years ago.
and we're both waiting for their arrival to fall in love with them.
how a miracle was that?
i meant i asked if that dream was long ago, and was it like after
i left the school and he said yes.
i do not bloody know how to react.
i need my hunk! and he's not online:(

miss independant

2008-11-12T18:51:00.000-08:00

miss independant

(okay,i know that song here, is so not me.but
cm'on i like the lyrics okay!)
yesterday i managed to cut down on cigs.
first i succeeded then, i failed :(
from 10am-5pm, i only smoked 2 sticks.
isnt that a very very very very big thing? im proud of me.
this show that i can persevere. but then, proudness got me over.
in the end of the day i smoked 6sticks altog.
=.- i know, i feel like killing myself.
just caus i achieved something so great i go and do it again.
well, yesterday at work is a bit more busy than usual.
plus, it's raining:(
& that damn umbrella i brought to work, upon
reaching the block, it spoils :( totally, break.
(i know lur,ppl used to say i too violent no matter what i hold
can break. but i alr very gentle now)
for the soup part, i realised as long as you're calm and you know
you're ready for whatever the outcome will be you'll never regret
caus you've gave your best & stay firm.
just like a relationship, only that it takes two to tango.
tarduh!! i didnt get hurt okay, yesterday(:
muahahah:D
was so hungry yesterday but i do not want to spend my moolahs.
i promised lil bro that i will lend him 25$ caus he's going
for his class chalet and he got no $$.
(i know at times, im very evil to him.but i still love & care for him okay!)
so, i rather starve then break my promise.
LOL. guess what i do? i bought a dollar bread (:
when didi came to fetch me, he support me lo
eat my jap food ! lol. he pay, i pay 50cents.
then he never eat teh rice finish, he give me eat.
so touched! he eat little bit only then give me eat.
told him that i've no $25.00 to lend, short of a dollar.
then he say i so silly, 1$ short nevermind de (:
on the way back, i felt so guilty lur, made him buy th jap food.
when he can save for his chalet plus he didnt eat much.
yesterday, was a very peaceful day.
very less text from peoples. those who texted me, idk who.
and also dunno what they send =.-
i just read then delete. then i forgot what they send.
(always liek that)
but nevermind lur, doubt is anythng important ,
upon reminsicing i teared, i laughed hard at the sweetest part.
imagining how silly for all this to ever happened, how blind we both
can be. how impossible we knew we were.
i didnt shed for the worst part instead i shed only for 1 part.
your last sweet nothings;'(
i didnt wanna tell people how much tears i've shed.
i sobbed hard,i ran to the toilet to cry maybe thats the
part that caus me to smoke 3sticks for nothing=.-
i didnt wanna dissapoint anyone, they always thought
im the strongest one among all.
caus i get over someone real fast, but not this time.
caus we didnt even started.
you left me independant, to defend for myself.
now, i've seen whats going through for me.
maybe that fall was all destined, it's a sign for me to
climb up again and never look back.
for all i've done i never regretted i never did.
i was labelled the sweetest girl, the strongest one.
your "big gal", thats what keeps me going.
never did someone called me "big gal".
i dont want this notorious type of glamour.
i buried this ah-lian-in-me deep down (:
i'ma cut down smoking, i'ma be a big girl now.
a good one too(:
reminiscing the time when i was the sweetest girl,
the gentlest one the strongest one.
(& the kindest too)
heh.
i want her back!
i miss dressing up :(
puting on earrings and accesories, dressing to the nine.
now, i'ma go buy some dress and change to a total new me.
i will be back,
ohoh... (they says they miss my american english kind of slang)
_!_ LOL.
ok now, i'ma go plan my big day(biatches reunion)
tata, earthlings!
dont miss me oi!

lost identity

2008-11-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

late night talks

everyday on my journey to work, i'll see my little little crush :X
LOL. (used-to-be-crush)
still remember the way he sings and smile to me (:
but this time, we passed each other like as if we're total strangers.
the last time i talked to him was, on teachers day.
muahahah:D *no hard feelings okay!*
yesterday at work, my lady boss asked me how's my outing the day before.
LOL. never expect her to ask, so i told her how far a distance i walked.
=.- then we talked about education and my goal to study in shatec.
she said shatec very ex :( th other time so idiots told me was
$6k for 2 years plus diploma =.-
she says if fail a test and retake need "thousands of dollar"
if take hotel managemet or (idk what you call that)
had to learn how hospitality, clean the bed and set the room.
if take the cooking course need to learn how to wash plate.
so i do not know exactly where am i heading to, can i just work in
china black? LOL. i wna go partayyyye!
so as usual my boss likes to disturb the coffee uncle =]
2 days ago was "kopi-o neng pah puey" (200cups of kopi o,in hokkien)
LOL. yesterday was "coke, neng xiu" (2 carton of coke)
then the uncle we shout to the counter and point at my boss.
hilarious i drink halfway also laugh and got choked.
somehow when i pour the soups into the styrofoam cups or bowl,
i had this fear, this fear of getting hurt. i tend to hesitate.
i thought to myself, was it age matter or was it maturity.
last time, i will just daringly pour, i do not care if i get scalded.
"once bitten, twice shy, but still, i will try (:"
so i just sat-sat pour the soup, of caus my hand tends to tremble lur.
you've no idea how pain was it, you can actually see the smoke okay.
if you've just put your hand above the thing and feel the smoke,
you will already get scared.
last minute got many order so i was released a bit later than 9.
as usual didi come and picked me up.LOL.
so we're somehow talking halfway when he asked me something
in malay like...(then he stutter)
him: "ta ta ta tanye!!"
me:" ta ta ta tak nak!"(then my saliva almost drop=.-)
LOL. funny siol.
then he stutter his malay words all the way .
like " bo bo bodoh"
then i go, "wa wa wa WAHHHH"
i know, how lame.
okay back to my bitches, msged them during work(:
we wanted to bring a tent for our outing (so imma hafto bring lur)
but the thing is, NONE OF US, KNOW HOW TO PITCH ONE!
=.=''' I KNOW. so then we decided on the beach straw mat,
that i have. but for goodness sake, is unfoldable, only can roll.
and it's like up to my shoulder tall :(
imagine we' taking the bus and with the beach mat, i swear people
will be looking at us=.- i dunwana go like "eh see waht see?!"
_!_ neh!
LOL. no, ima good girl now (: i dontwant that notorious type of glamour.
i've already know what ima give them both for the present exchanging session.
(pssssst..i even plan for next year's reunion presents!)
now whats confusing me is ...
should i buy a monokini or a sundress or a big bag or a white racerback/camisole?
MAYBE I SHOULD BUY ALL (:
muahaha:D but, im supposed to save,
procrastinate again, (*doggy eye*i'll do it next month, i promise??)
LOL.
yesterday late night talk on teh phone was great with dear (:
my dearest bitch .WHOOOO!
we'd so much to share, so much to imagine so much to laugh about.
and i almost cried, been so long since i last felt that way.
we reminisce together(: we talked about GOD,
we talked about fate, practically everything about
HIM, HIM AND US (: muahahha
*tsktsk..secret lur*
and and oh, my dream guy!
dont ask bout my dream guy, i made a total mistake,
please swear upon me .
LOL.
i woked up early this morning and accompany granny to market(:
how good a girl am i?
that long walk, really woke me up .
i dont wanna continue this notorious way of glamour.
i wana be what i wana be.
i wana be independent liek what baobei says "you're always the
strongest among us all"
maybe being a socialite or a "social butterfly" isnt that very good
afterall?
but was a lesson from mummy, to learn and to speak
every kind of language and slangs of the people you mixed with.
but at the end of teh day, you'll just grow tired. tired of entertaining,
and you lost your identity, you lost yourself.
you will never be yourself again.
NEVER, (shall continue this another time)

NOTE: *I GOT SHORT TERM MEMORY*
i swear :( i just figure it out .
1 moment i picked up my clip from the table and then i walked to
teh toilet and found out my clip is lost :( until now,
i cant find it, and this happen 3days ago.
at work even worst, i couldnt remember my customers very much.
and i dont know who order waht, then i got mixed up.
when i see the plastic on the table, i ask my lady boss ,
she say i order one =.- LOL.
luckily got lady boss help me remember who order what even
when she did not attend to the customers.
at least i did not send the wrong food to the wrong customer,
because before i send i'll ask my lady boss who order =.-
is there a treat for STM?

biatches reunion

2008-11-10T23:18:00.000-08:00

antidotes

last night slept at around 2am :( couldn't go to sleep.
wonder & ponder what was i thinking when we're walking that
long distance yesterday. *secret*
none of us get to go to sleep, yesterday. all so "kecoh"(noisy),
reminded me of someone who used to laugh hard at what we says
to each other.LOL.
was listening to my mp4, a daily routine. when my brother complained,
how hungry he was and buchuk also. but then they said since its alr
wee in the night might as well, sleep away so you wont feel them (:
then my brother as usual, trying to act smart like as if he's a good MALAY student.
him: "saya anak melayu, nenek cina" =.-
LOL. then they asked my and brother to duet a malay song.
my brother insisted to sing the girl part, in the end we never sing.
then he wanted to hear industan song . lol
then buchuk wants to hear malay song=.= (so jiwang)
then i keep pressing next, got techno lur, reggaeton lur, all kind of song.
then they dance on their bed:XX
lame siao.
woke up at 11+am this morning, then smoke then eat then smoke.
LOL. baobei(my baby bitch) msged me(:
saying how much apologetic she is for neglecting us all.
(in fact we all moved on in our life, rarely contact)
my 2 bitches are busy wonderwoman, so very hard to date them out.
we talked on the phone, crapped about guys. oooooh,
NO GOSSIPING OKAY!
o.o baobei say she really wanna be my antidote to feel right,
and she gna lend me her chubbs (:
me: muahaha. yes bitch, i do!
LOL. we sounded so les (:
deear and baobei is so free on my next next offday 24th.
we're gna go to east coast park for a picnic and maybe, suntanning for me (:
*bikini, sunblock, lip gloss, shade, sundress
but no beach bag :(
o.o gna bring a tent there . always me =.- ya, their very good alpha.
im so excited! :XX our annual reunion with letters and present exchanging
session. muahahahha ! o.o did i mention we're gna go fly kites.
yes, we're gna go fly kite. so please please mother nature, dont rain.
we're gna go and binge on food and crap yada and cry and scream and
cam whore and bloody bitch at each other!
im so missing them right now<3333
it's our 3rd annivesary. muahahah,
thinking back about those times we sat in town, coffeebean.
talking bout boyfriends and fashion.
talk about bosoms, fats and periods.
miss those time, we locked hands and shop our way across town.
those neoprints (:
and we always go like "SHUT UP, BITCH!"
lol. no we dont take offences, bitch is another language
means "love" to us. those time when we meet in bugis and we scream
"I BITCH YOU" lol. imagine how many people staring at us .
oh my 2 bitches, are in big dilemma arent they?
all 3 of us, having a same problem. with different people.
those time when i invite my bitches (individually) on my family outings.
you can never imagine how it feels.
tahts how close we are.
those time when i'll picked baobei up after her stupid course at orchard hotel
with laopa(god-father) then off to my friend's chalet. and baobei
wearing high heels that hurts her, so in exchange she wore my flops,
while i wear her heels (: how nice am i?
good, in biatches inc., im always the alpha, the planner,
the middle person (: the most wildest and naughtiest, and daring.
deear : the most matured, calm, sensitive, pretty
baobei: the baby among all, cute, sexy, sensitive & the most
busy one!
LOL. so much more, i couldnt say. 1 thing we all know deep down.
" I BITCH THEM"<333

restless

2008-11-10T06:12:00.000-08:00

RESTLESS

went out with pinky & bestie today :D

goddamnit, early in the morning kanna dua(got stood up)

LOL.good job uh, yenfang (:

still dare ask me meet early early.

lucky i never go down kfc, if not i sure dulan(blood boil)

woke up at 9+am due to the loud thunder disrupting my royal rest:XX

yes, woke up checked my mail and yadayada while the rest still sleeping.

if it wasn't for yenfang i wouldn't have had to wake up so early either.

that day told her meet at 12 she say so late, 11.30 say late =.-

so we decided at 11am then? she never never ans my call nor reply my msges.

luckily, i didnt go down kfc to meet her(:

supposed to meet bestie at 12pm at sim lim square.

muahaha, took my time, 10.30 bathe, 11 come out, make up until 11.40

he msged and im still at home :XX

LOL.today applies very less make up,

(as in all my necessary make ups but reduce the quantity)

cant believe i took bloody 40mins to put so light make up=.=

foundation then loose powder then concealer then eye liner

then loose powder then eye shadow then blusher then lip protection

uv blah blah(dunno exactly the thing to describe), then lip gloss then

lastly bronzing powder(: can never never do without all these.

everytime i go out (town or not in amk)

9items , muahhah.

the most time consuming is my eye liner :(

yes, so i wore a grey 3/4sleeve shirt from stream

(the shirt is so thin & body hugging)

can see the breast line ( then middle hole)

LOL. so i put on a hoody and wore my black flesh imp skirt.

i hate my skirt :( everytime i wear it, reminds me how fat i am.

it's size M for goodness sake, i didnt realise it when i bought,

and it's a bit too tight for me to wear it low.

(the zip closure part will tell you why)

=.- wore my white gladiator caus i think since its pouring heavily,

the floor shall be very wet and among all my sandals & flops & heels,

only my gladiator wont make me fall (:

took bus 133 instead =.- (suppose to take 851)

but when i reached the bus stop the bus just went.

*slap on the head*

LOL, arthur say reaching alr msged him

muahaha, when the bus approach his house there i told him

i reaching alr:) if he know this, he's so gna be very furious

nevermind, he always do th same to me either

so i was busy listening to the songs in my phone, when

i try to figure out how to walk to sim lim square and wher to stop.

LOL.i stopped the wrong bus stop=.-

stopped at raffles hospital that bus stop and still saying i reaching alr.

for a moment, i was lost. *shy*

but everyone knows how town-clever am i

so i just bloody figure out and walk straight across a few streets

and tarduhh! i'm there already!

met them, LOL. we looked like we are drenched (not very)

supposed to search for my mickey mouse mp3 .

was already gna buy it when they say no good, caus

cant delete the song on the spot neither can see the title and

what songs next (: so bought this lousy mp4 in red

$40/- lol. 10$ more. 1 gb, nvermind uh. use temporaily niah

aftermath, we went to eat at sim lim square (:

my meal & drink's on bestie (his treat, he said so!)

ate mutton briyani & drank crysanthemum.

muahaha :D mine altog 6.80$

then then we walked from sim lim square to parklane (:

pool, as planned.

bestie ask me where my "MARLBORO MENTHOL BABY NUA"

im so lousy first round. haven even hit 1 ball in then arthur won alr

=.- ya, i know i noob. but if you ever played with him,

you know how pro he is (not exaggerating neither am i advertising

him, but even mummey said so!)

he won most of the games (except the ones i cheated and he allowed)

so, since so long haven played and my skill deteriorating, bestie

taught me again! LOL(pictures tomorrow eh)

most of the time, i was cheating or tyko shot (:

i used my hands to break teh ball then, when he helped me see

which ball to aim when i play with him, see liao he tell me the

position, cannot go in then i push the ball in the hole (:

muahahah, then my turn.

won buddy once, won pinky once !

then no mood, so dont play.

ate macdonald, bestie treats again! after which, we walked to

cathay , window shopped.then off to PS , walked the whole ps,

then in ps they were like

"mam, please dont walk so fast later sir scold."

"mam, if you want to buy anything just buy, sir sign"

"mam, becareful in front got wires you always trip and fall,COMPLAIN!"

"mam, sir call, you want me to tell the truth or lie"

me: "muahaha!LIE!"

pinky: "oh sir, mam in geylang....." =.-

LOL. we're practically just talking and crapping.

when we go to stardust ..

"please keep 100m away from mam, sir say so"

LOL. tehy bloody hell go tell the sales person=.-

then i picked up this miss-sixty body spray (elixir)

but found out no tester, then bestie shout to pinky.

"eh mam, want tester no tester complAIN!"

LOL. lame siao.

when we go to build a bear workshop,

"mam, want to see clothes for her very expensive son"

they told the sales person

LOL. after they got tired they wonder and ponder,

"who is the sir uh?no salary then follow this small girl here and there"

muahah. after that we walked to istana park then to orchard point

then to centre point then to heeren then to tangs then

to far ear plaza 0.o

imagine, from sim lim, walk to bugis then to parklane then to ps

(walk the whole shopping centre, go in most shops) then to

istana park, then to (as stated above)

end of the day we're so exhausted yet they sent me home (:

took the bus with me LOL.

*ooops. didnt manage to take photo with them personally

neither did i take any decent photo of them

our legs are so tired and they numbed easily

we're like half dead.

but i told them, its okay they dont have to follow me lurr,

i dont mind walking alone either.

i need this long walk after all these stupid thangs happening to me.

in far east they say "next time got what big walk, i call you go"

MUAHAHAH. dash my hope i wanted to go to missha but it moved alr.

LOL. after we alighted the bus, bestie jumped over every puddle of water

lol. i say "eh siao lian eh(youngster), gimme 1 cig"

LOL he say "im not siao lian eh, im lao eh(old)"

LMAO, we smoke halfway at 210 we all at there nua, then i call bestie

"eh siao eh"(crazy one)

he call me "eh pui eh" (fat one)

WTF, i cant take it, i felt the sudden urge to go toilet.

then, i bade goodbye and walk quickly

after few steps, bestie shouted "AINA"

lol. tehy all behind me, they wanted to go toilet also=.-

first only bestie say wan go toilet then he at there whistle

and say "weeeeweeeet" and repeat and repeat

then pinky scold him, "dunn weeeweeet2 lah, i also wan go toilet"

LOL. then we all run, i run home the run find toilet.

then bade goodbye(:

quiz

2008-11-09T18:15:00.000-08:00

tagged by :yeeliing sweetheart <3
(to do a quiz =.- )

(i'll skip the rule part)

1.do you have secrets?
: who doesnt ? =.=

2.would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
: mmmpft, never tried before (: but if cupid strikes, who
wouldn't say no?

3.do you enjoy going to school?
: NO, i go for the sake of going.it's always the same old routine.
go like never go, teachers also hack

4.what would you do with a billion dollars?
: donate half to charity, shopping and travel around the world(:
&& i would like to make kids dreams come true !

5.what is your view towards love?
: now? mmmpft, love is blind, its foolish.
when you're in love you'll do so much stupid things &
make a fool out of yourself (:
for how beautiful love is, its undescribable

6.which is more blessed?loving someone or being loved?
: being loved, by the person you love (:

7.list out your 15 favourite songs:

1# superhuman
2#baby
3#miss independent
4#forget about me
5#my all
6#i still believe
7#qi dai ni de ai
8#whatever you like
9#feedback
10#maria maria
11#takdir cinta
12#stairway to heaven
13#together
14#i know what you want
15#its over

(all these different songs remind me of different people)

8. if the person you secretly like is already attached, what
do you do?
: mmmmptf, me?ASK HIM TO DITCH HER FOR ME :xx
lol, no lurr, dont do anything (:
as long as he happy can liaos.

9.is there anything that make you happy?
:oh, i will be happy if mummey gna bring me on a huge
shopping trip, without me paying for a single thing!

10.what makes you angry?
:WHEN SOMEONE LIES TO ME

11.how would you see yourself in 10 years time?
: o.0. im gna own a bike and a car and maybe a restaurant.
so i'll prolly rot at home, if none of those above is achieved.

12.who is currently the most important people to you?
:oh me??ermmmm, those who needs me(:

13.what is the most important thing in your life?
:o.o, passion & indulging

14.single or attached? with who?
:oh i'm so so so so SINGLE :D

15.favourite colour?
: black, white, silver, gold, brown, pink & red :D

16.would you give all in a relationship?
: try to make an effort, but ALL? NO!
(im every guy's dream girlfrend)
LOL.

17.if you fall in love with 2 guys, who would you pick?
:NONE :X or maybe, the 1 who i love most & love me backs!

18.would you forgive & forget no matter how horrible a thing
that someone does?
:OH NONO, I'LL FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET(:
I'VE ALL THOSE IN MY BRAINS, SO I CAN NAME A LIST

19.kiss or hug?
(: hug!

20. tagged 5 people to do this quiz:
XUANIIE, sofea, jane, ena, siewhui (:

a whole new beginning

2008-11-08T23:07:00.000-08:00

it's a whole new beginning, with me & only ME (:

if i were to say about yesterday i could go on ranting
& ranting like (non-stop).
do this for teh sake of my loyal viewers okay.
after that fall i had, it really still hurts( even now).
it's a real fall okay!
recently, i'm shocked to know that my long lost friends,
came looking for me (:
tuty & clique, im very apologetic towards the whole group.
if you'd ask me where i want to be, i would still choose to leave.
for i do not enjoy that kind of life.
maybe it's a blessing in disguise that after i left,
you guys straighten out your thinkings.
thank god, those gotta go to school, went (:
those gotta find a job, found (:
those gotta quit whatever they needs to, quitted (:
still i am very happy to see you all from here, leading the sort
of life that at least leads to somewhere brighter.
i'll always be here, for anyone. i dont move nor do i change
my number . muahaha :D
yes, for my misfortune .
i fell hard once yesterday(everyone knows that)
i almost fell, twice .
1. staircase
2.at work
i scalded myself twice last night
1.at work
2.the tasteless maggi i cooked
1 big big big great news (to me):
i thought i saw that guy! omg omg, i know!
=.=
that guy in my dream, i saw him on friendster.
first, i didnt really give a hoot to him, i just thought.
he had a nice side view, thats all (:
(his profile's private)
it was till the middle of the night that i recall, and felt
so familiar, without going on the net to check i bloody
msged my closest one and buchuk and all.
muahhah : D they asked me to add him up,
so did i. realised he viewed my profile oi!
=.= no, no no, i'm not in love with anyone at this moment.
i dont wanna make this wrong mistake again.
i've mistaken 2 guys for THAT DREAM GUY.
(both is a big total mistake)
*fell in love with them caus i thought they're the dream guy.
how embarrasing :X
caus i like their side view?
& why do all these guys looks the same?
oh, i thought this might me another blessing in disguise.
saw my horoscope, and they said by th 13th my life's
so gna change 360degree (:
even if he turns out not to be that dream guy,
its okay ! caus i just gained another friend.
so, no hard feelings this time. NO NO NO.
was chatting with ROYHAN and he keep trying to influence
my thinkin: ( wassup wit getting married?
=.= i do not understand !
muahaha : D
oh ps: that guy is someone's friend so , not convenient to
reveal anymore. and he's a total stranger to me.
i do not know him, neither do i like him okay!
back to today,
i slept for 9hours today 0.o?
i done my own pedicure, i cut em all very very shorts .
caus i realised everytime i had long long fingernails,
my finger tends to grow thus my hand's long :(
and and my money runs out easily thats y.
for tomorrow plan, im meeting bestie perhaps togt
with yenfang at sim lim square at 12pm (:
to buy my mp3, i need a cheap mp3 now, i'll die
if i do not bring my songs with me.
then off to parklane by legs , muahahah :D
to play pool,
pool & lunch is a treat from bestie .
gooody!
not going to the west tomorrow, mummy dumped me
so shall go next next next monday to sembawang then
to woodlands, shopping!

i shall bid goodbye now,
(: stay tuned for more juicy crappy news about
that dream guy !

fell hard, hard enough

2008-11-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time since i've blogged so much in 1 day.
ever since he's departure, i've lost interest to blog.
he used to read my blog, via psp and time he have to spare.
i was online just now it struck me that to ask him if he's
meeting me on the monday. i got up,
i tripped on my keyboard's wire, i fell.
fell hard enough, for a moment i was struggling, hard.
nobody's home, i've no help.
still in my mind, im still thinking of you, my priority.
i couldn't move, the pain's killing me. it hurts alot.
i struggle and slither my way to my phone.
i texted you, you didnt bother to reply.
thank you, bestie, darwin & ena.
all the encouragement and yadayada.
i'm so glad to have all of you.
bestie requested me to wear the angel necklace, he gave to me.
(when i was with him)
:'( i couldnt bear to, i dont want to.
it's very kind of him to request, but i refused to.
(not now)
i never thought i'd this fall, luckily i was not bleeding.
it still hurts now, hurts a lot.
bestie was sleeping when i called him and screamed my lungs out,
hah. i couldn't move any further, i thought i was some sort of
paralysed, i wished i was.
hasn't all this hard enough for me?
why do god not hears my prayers? why do god not let me off?
isn't it bad enough, mummy dumped me on th 10th to go to
the hospital for her soon-to-be-or never father-in-law.
good, i dont feel like moving around.
maybe i shall go find out where's sembwang park =.=
and just see if there's a playground there.
okay, im off earthlings!

beloved

2008-11-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

this post is for the following people:

#YEELIING (sweetheart)<33

hello sweetheart, yes it's been 2 months plus alr (:
i've been here for you almost everytime you need me.
i hope to continue to be with you thru ups and downs !
and i will remember you always.
*muahahah:D next i can be social worker
i love you baybehhh!
stay strong alritey?
remember all my words, you dont need to be friend with
all these people which you cant catch up with.
you dont have to be friends with all these people who can
afford to go trend after trends, creativity and yadayada.
just be you, people will love you for who you are (:
like i do!

#ena (sistarh)<333

muahahah(:
my one of a kind sistarh, always there for me.
know me inside out, supporting and encouraging me.
saw me fight and cry and all the other stupid emotion i have.
always sticking out tongues together.
gossiping, bitching and there for me.
always know how i felt without asking.
somehow i wonder if we got this telepathy kind of thing=.-
3 years of sistership, i treasure a lot.
never looked down on me, never kept those hurting
words to yourself(:
a friend always tells the truth.
i love you baybehhh!

#xuaniie (sistarh)<333

i've known you more than half of my lifetime.
i've seen you walked the path you chose.
i saw you regretting, have fun, get into troubles.
now, i'm picturing you walking down the aisle.
a soon-to-be mummehhy!
this time, i wont let you be alone.
i'll walk you down, i'll find the courage to hand your
hands over to the HIM.
i truefully wished you happiness, and i'll give you my blessings.
for as much as i object your marriage.
somehow, it's your choice.
i'll be there for you, hope you'll give birth to a fat,
cute and healthy baby!
ilove you sistarh!<3333

#micheal (my long lost friend)<33

for 3 years i've know you. for 2 years we've been apart.
now you're back, heard you've became HAWWTTTT!
like GOSH! (: somehow, your malay improved
tremendously. MUAHHAHA :D
bibik's boy ! somehow i really like your peranakan culture.
woohhhooooo!
thanks for that meal 3 years ago.
it's like a dream come true.
oh, and i admire you for your suaveness (:
yadayada, i enjoy your accompany !
thank you, hunk!<333

#ROYHAN (my angel, my hunk)<3333

okay angel, kiss my ass :D
jkjk.
so if you ever drop by my blog this is what i want
you to see (:
you've been there for me, watched me grow & yadayada.
(i hate that part when we reminisce the past and
you'll tell me how much i've grown taller and whatever)
BOO! anyway, at my most critical period you entertained me.
you said you're some sort of bloody fucked up angel sent from above.
oh, then you said as if im some kind of devil form hell -.=
anyway, i really appreciate all these you've done for me(:
oh, i still kept your letter and occasionally(rarely), i do read is okay!
(fyi: i've big box of letter from peoples)
so it's kinda hard for me to search for your letter, nonetheless i still.
good, im glad to hear my letter is sticking out on your butt in your wallet.
=.= (i bloody gna kill you)
but nvm, all these guys i've wrote letters to kept em in their wallet.
go on, keep missing me !
iloveyou hunk!<333

#arthur (bestie)<333

i've never thought i'll have this bestie,
im so glad after the breakup we're stil friend.
and that you're willing to treat me on the 24th(:
thanks for the breakfast the other day.
wooohhhooo!
all these memories kept in my heart, deep down.
untouchable, i promised.
nonetheless, i wont let history repeat.
idk if all these time i talked to you, if you still have feelings for me.
but im very thankful to you for letting me go and search
for my happiness (:
you've beena great encouragement to me.
all those msges you sent after the break ups about the thunkder uncle:D
i appreciate it alot. i never expect you to rmb how scared,
i'll get when there's thunder .
thank you for stil calling me baby and princess.
(like i dont deserve it)
i hope you know whats good and bad for you .
i'll still be here for you like i promised.

#RAID (my never meant to be lover)<333

i dont think you'll ever read my blog again,
but im still doing it for heaven sake.
i would like to dedicate a song to you : "superhuman"
go hear and find the lyrics(:
i really wished to meet you on the 10th, i've so much to say.
thank you for a week of beautiful love, you wanted it to stay
that way, you didnt wanted to continue.
i couldnt understand, somehow i felt that you thought
i've know you too less, less enough to fall for you.
and you didnt want to hurt me when i found out what you do,
in the future nor do you want to destroy this beautiful
impression of love you left in me :D
but i'ma let you know, im ready for all the outcomes on the monday.
i really hope you'll make an effort to come down.
if you hate me, tell me straight to my face(:
come on, i dont want to have to go in a relationship with you.
i'm happy and fine the way we are without having to hold
each other down and get tied.
im ready for this, its either we remain the same in the past
or we're lesser than friends (:
it's not treatening, i seriously dont see a need.
i dont know whats so hard.
anyone can do this, you dont have to love.
thus, you wont get hurt .
i'll be waiting.

thats all folks !
the others wil have to wait for the next post !

last night

2008-11-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

last night, went to work. boss's sick, thought they don't wna
open the stall but for me, they opened (:
caus they can't contact me so, my lady boss scared
i come & see nobody =.=
so worked for 2 hours only, instead of 3 yesterday.
i had to date many people out, on the same day.
i don't know what i should do.
i hafto meet him, i want to clarify things.
i dont know if i should bring all these people with me,
i don't want to break down infront of them, nor let them
feel so left out :(
i need this day to myself. i need to go see all these people,
individually. i've so much to say, so much to do.
3weeks later i still haf another date with my ex.
okay, darwin told me its not actually a "date".
caus date = dating. i beg to differ .
muahahah :D okay, i got no reason to laugh now.
please, i aint need another heartbreak,
caus baby the one before had my heart damaged (:
so stop coming to me and say "i love you"
dont tickle me you make my heart go lalala.
my heart's so shut for everyone else.
at this numbing period, i've no idea how im gna deal it.
this morning, got pranked by darwin's friend using his phone=.=
"i love you, how?"
oh nono, please dont do this to me :'(
i dont mind like, caus i like everyone else too (:
no love, dont love me, dont ever.
im not ready for this, i cant go on rejecting everyone else
like i used to.
maybe it's really a big disadvantage to be nice and kind.
all sort of people start falling in love with me:(
and when im not on my guard i fall in love with them too.
=.='''
had enough, my heart longed for him.
a him whom i cant afford to make mine, god knows why.
so please dont feel so dejected and yadayada.
i dont wanna continue to toy with people's feeling.
maybe its retribution, its karma.
in search of the guy in my dream
*those close to me will know what i mean (:
so earthlings, dont take it to heart !
iloveyooooooooo!

like a distant star

2008-11-06T22:59:00.000-08:00

this post is for YOU:
(pssssssst....you know who you are)

i said it once, i said it twice now im gonna say it again.
that 1 week passed so fast, fast enough for me to fall in love.
to you, i might be nothing.
to me, you're everything.
this musn't be happening but im missing
you dearly at this very minute.
we've been victims of love thus, we got hurt.
you decided it was enough for you.
but i still continued.
i lived in the past, i lived for you.
your sweet nothings was everything i desired.
your love was never what i wanted.
i never thought, i would fall for you nor for you to fall for me.
you were the sweetest thing, you were my daily dose.
i was your princess, i was supposed to be your future.
when you walked out on me, my whole world came crashing down.
hopes are dashed, dreams are drifting faraway.
you told me the harshest thing, i swallowed it.
now it seems tears are streaming down my face, reminiscing the past
that was once ours. a memory only we knew.
i'd wished to hold on forever, never to let go.
i've never wanted to move on, caus that means forgetting.
i would risk my life, to have just one more day with you.
i'd returned you all these memories, take them with you.
i would fulfill everything i promised, i'd do everything you said.
but baby, it doesn't pays. caus my love don't cost a things.
i wouldn't keep what wasn't meant to be mine.
i wouldn't hold on to this never started relationship.
i haven't got enough of you, you were a piece of me.
when you left, i just died a little more inside, caus you've
bring my heart with you.
to know you still love me is a blessing, but to know you'll
never be there, is heartbreaking.
you're too far, far like a distant star.
please grant my wish to celebrate your advanced birthday with you(:
i never wanted to change your mind, i ponder upon why.
why do you hafto leave, when we're happy tgt even when we've not started.
i just want us to be like the past.
now, we're not even in talking terms :( i do not know why.
but deep down, i still yearns for your return, secretly.

i'm trying

2008-11-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

i constantly wonder if other people's life without me,
will it ever makes a different?
i realise this world is truely round.
some people, life's still go on.
for some, perhaps they're too dependent on me.
some, they only need me when they need me.
maybe i could try forgetting those promises i made,
then it'll make life easier for me, much easier.
but i cant, i dont have the heart to.
i wont take back my words nor forget them.
but i would really appreaciate all these people to really
let me rest for a week(:
save all your thoughts, your problems and whatever not till next week.
i've already so less time to myself.
blame myself, for being borned a social butterfly.
i haven really got to mia, (except for 1 day).
thats not peaceful, either.
i mean, like i have my own problems too.if everyone's gna
turn to me, who am i gna turn to?
caring is my forte, i will wake up 4am in the morning and damn
reply your text if its urgent, like you need somebody to talk to
about your problems, im cool with that.
but 1 week, baybehh! please?
save it for a week later, thank you!
i swear i'll be there, please dont trigger my determination.
(: i love yoo people!

i've lost

2008-11-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

i've LOST in this game called "LIFE".
i didn't expect i would have this day.
i didn't expect to fall so hard, and still get knocked.
i didn't expect to climb up on my feet alone.
i didn't expect to climb and fall again.
i didn't expect the unexpected ones to be there.
i didn't expect the expected ones not to be there.
i never knew this real world's so tough and hard.
i never knew people protect me from the truth.
now i'm here bearing all responsibility, fullfilling all
the promises i made and those who made to me, but did
not fulfill it. i never knew i had to be the one.
fate is there, to bring me down.
i've lost everything, from my bestfriends, to girlfriends,
to friends, to money, to ability to write a poem, to ability to
dance, to ability to indulge, to feel happiness and everything else
to LIFE.
i do not want to turn back, i do not want to be haunted by memories.
i never expect all this.
i do not want those nightmares, i do not want to open my eyes.
i do not want to face to reality.
everytime i woke up, i asked why is this happening to me?
why do i have to wake up so early?
why didn't he came to my dream last night?
to my amazement, i fell in love with this guy in my dream.
this guy appeared 4 years ago.
he appeared 2 days ago(: during my naptime, twice.
he has very little hair (as in his hair so thin & short)
he had nice body (for me)
with his seenable veins on his hands, he's thin.
4years ago, i sat side by side with him, on a beach,
watching kids running after each other.
i didn't get to see his face, he was wearing a white shirt.
were sitting on a map, no talks no conversation.
2 days ago, i dreamt of someone i knew. someone i once loved.
he's so like my dream guy. same, we aint have any conversation.
we're clad in baju kurungs (:
first dream, daddy kept constantly appearing in my dream=.=
second dream, i couldn't remember.
i knew he took out a necklace from his pocket, he was about to
give it to me, when i bloody woke up by some calls and smses:(
what's this?
i miss him though, altho he just appears in my dreams.

noted

2008-11-03T23:26:00.000-08:00

note this please :
i'm MIA-ing caus i think i have a need to.
i'm not hiding, i'm not avoiding.
for all those msges, i'm really apprecaitive(:
those cheering me up and whats not, i've noted.
for those who called me or msged me yesterday,
i'm really sorry for those who got screamed the hell out of me,
those who got screwed by me :(
i'm really really very sorry.
firstly, i wasn't in the mood.
secondly, im bloody asleep yesterday.
the dream's too good to be disrupted.
i'm fine and good. those who really really needs me, you
know where to find me.
special thanks to: darwin, royhan & mic! (:
(LOVEEEEEEEES)
i'm off people, if you need me, you know i'll be there!
beep me,
kisses earthlings!

i dreamt about you yesterday,
you appeared in my dream 4 years ago.
i've waited a long time, could you really please
appear in my dream again?
and tell me your name, i'll do all means to find you.
(: caus baby,i'm in love with the guy in my dreams

a day to remember(:

2008-11-03T03:02:00.000-08:00

off people, im going off (:

mia-ing starting soon.

apologies, for the delay, try your luck,

contact me if you want.

i might reply you or pick up your phone calls.

TOODLES!

MIA

2008-10-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

MISSING IN ACTION

for 1 week or so...

take good care, my friends (:

3days

2008-10-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

;i don't need another heeeeeeeartbreak,
leave me alone (:

*this post shall be for the past 3 days

wednesday(29/10):
went to amk mrt to meet raid (:
we just somehow slack behind the mrt station.
staring at each other, gave him his present.
and he asked what i gave to him, i opened it up and show it
to him=.= (why was i supposed to even be opening it?)
he took it, turn the bracelet and asked:
"how to open?"
LOL. i said:
"i told you, it was stretchabel(& showed to him)"
he took it, and wore it on the spot.
i felt very awkward though, was puffing half the time.
staring at him, staring at people, staring at the mrt station,
staring at the grasses, staring at people who stared at us.
i couldn't really bring up a topic to talk.
i couldn't smile and act as nothing is happening.
i opened my wallet check my things.
asked if he wants me to throw his photo(laminated).
he asked me to keep, i gave him back 1 instead (:
then i threw my old photo with my ex into the drain,
he thought it was his photo=.=
he picked it up, asked why i threw?
i said, why cannot? it's not his photo anyway.
i pulled his braclet and let go, asked if it hurts.
he said no, then yes.
(: then i said "this way, you wont take it out"
he acts as if he's gna take it out though, but he didn't.
as said, we hugged and we took peekchas.
i don't think i look nice in it :(
wasn't in the mood to smile neither is my hair
tied properly=.=
then at 4pm we bid goodbye.
(shall not elaborate)
at night, was msging with Darwin(another primary schoolmate,
same school as Raid)
he said Raid was stupid to leave a sweet girl like me,
i told Raid though.. he said.
"i've my reason to leave a sweet gal like you"
=.=
then at a later part, darwin couldn't get to sleep.
he calls me "ADINDA KU TERSAYANG"=.=
he said there's this feeling in him, to want to know me more.
asked me my fav colour,number,shopping place and drink.
(i actually answered them all)
then asked him why, he repeated that he wants to know me more & closer.
i said, "you mean you want to know me more than Raid does?"
he said "yeah"
=.= he said he msged me only then he happy.
i said, isn't that the reason why people talks to me?
isn't that the reason why people love me?(right, royhan??)
LOL.
didn't knew he had got feelings for me till the later part.
i rejected him though.
i said "i told you from the very beginning of this conversation,
i wouldn't want to go into a relationship.and you knew i still
love him"
he said it is worth a try, and asked how i knew if he's gonna hurt me?
but i still stick to my answer NO.
i had no feelings for him, neither will i in the future.
i like my life this way, and thats THAT!

thursday(30/10):
was supposed to meet sakhai but postponed to friday instead.
because i do not know how to get there.
went for HISTORY remedial=.= 1 hour, slacked.
finished at 11am but choy keep delay, and im supposed to meet
sofea(SWEETFACE) and im so late.
so i just walked out the classroom and off to kfc to meet her.
then we walked around central to get my bag(:
then after, i send her to school's back gate while i went home.
changed and off to central again, with buchuk and yadayada.
ate kfc (:
darwin msged and said i said he could msged me 24/7
i tetap layan!
hey, i do what i says okay.
he knows it too.
met ena my sistarh, lol.
since we're already at kfc.
she gave us a box of pizza to bring home.
planned to go to the zoo on the 10th with her.
went home, i dyed my hair=.=
fucked up, some gold not gold, some brown not brown,
black not black=.=
midnight, then i use my grandpa's hair dye dye back my hair .
natural brown =.= but like black.
and not enough hair dye so my hair turns like shit =.=
HAHAHAHAHAHA
nevermind, i shall go dye again.
dye twice in 1 day, my hair turns like __

friday(31/10):
went to school for social studies, 6girls 1 guy =.=
slacked, my hp not silent, msged openly,hears mp3.
choy doesn't even bother.and we 4
(sofea, me,yuefeng,xinyi)
hair colourful siol.
we got arguement with rulin(battle of the sexes)
LOL.
didnt went to meet sakhai at sembawang though :(
last minute he had to go to work.
o.o nevermind, i had many plans.
then after that i went to meet my ex(arthur) at boon keng(bendemeer).
he treat me $5 breakfast, ate macspicy oi!
talked about bendemeer people, pathetic.
asked why, bendemeer ppl 1 by 1 all wan toh alr?
then he said, "bendemeer ppl wont toh wan!"
=.= tsktsk, why lead this kind of life.
so much things had happened ever since i didnt went
down alr. it's only 3 weeks.
found out that those who supposed to come out from prison
already come out, supposed to run from boys home & hostel
already run out,supposed to go into hiding already went,
supposed to go school already go, supposed to go work already go.
didn't manage to finish it up, after that went to meet pinky
at towner (st. george).
still couldn't believe all these, never thought they will go stab people
and yadayada. for those landed in hospital, really pities them.
keep asking arthur, is this the kind of life they wanted?
:( felt very very very distraught.
then we sat and slack, they told me something so funny.
but i didnt laugh though.
they said got new kind of cigg selling in 7-11:
(in hokkien) kah nuah, am kun nuah, cui nuah, baby nuah =.=
^^in sequence: leg spoil, neck spoil, mouth spoil, baby spoil =.=
sumth like that lah, didnt really understand at first.
then realised they're saying about the picture in front of all
pckets of ciggs=.=
lol. pinky's am kun nuah, mine's cui nuah.LOL
i asked for 1 cigg, he asked wann sushi nuah not?
he take out his sushi gve me:(
afterall, was fun with them.
got tricked and bluffed as usual.
arthur's playing the same old prank he did 8months ago.
then he pinched my cheek, i pull his hair,and we cross the road.
LOL. he expects me not to be angry though.
mummy just called, check things out(:
said if i ever need somebody to talked to just text her,
and she'll give me a call.
how comforting is that?
haha, told her i want to go to shatec (:
she said she'll find her way to make me go to shatec if i really
wanted tooooooooo!wooooohooo!
i wants to go get a bike license when im 18(:
cm'on baby! it's time to do your own things.

tata earthlings(:

(: one last day

2008-10-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

(: if today will be the last day,
i'll hug you with all my might ~

yesterday didn't meet RAID though, he can't make it:(
(changed to today 3pm)
well well, was entertaining 2 guys while 1 enetertained me(:
(on msn luh)
was chatting with sakhai, gabriel and royhan.
my 2 bros & 1 hunk.
o.o
royhan said although we've long not talked to each other but
we still can communictae well.
(isn't that everyone likes a bout me?)
LOL. i can communictae with almost all kind of people.
he was nagging(some sort), telling me its not right to do this
and yadayada. saying he's an angel from heaven, it's just that he've
forgotten to bring his ring above his head and his wing.
_!_ hahahaha. precisely, i was laughing.
so he meant i was a devil sent by hell.
i told him how life was, and how's life about trying out.
a little whiskey won't kill, it just sinful.
gabriel was telling me about relationship blahblah.
say why my feeling fade and he said:
"if you tell me my grandparents still have feelings, i'll laugh"
LOL. don't they?(he said, they're tgt for too long alr)
hello brother, time doesn't really kills feeling lah.
he said he's going to the movies today with his gf watching some
horror movies, i said it's okay as long as he dont
scream the hell out of people's mother & father.
(he love to say people mother father)
swee uh, gabriel say he not scare ppl beat him, ask them come nia.
ai zai uh,
anyway, work yesterday was better than first 2 day.
as in i get more friendlier more adapted.
:( my boss find out i smokes (summore is my granny friend)
luckily the couple is very understanding and they wont breathe a
word to granny :)
so now i still get my smoke break.
yesterday, altho 15mins to knock off, i really cant tahan.
nose was bloody stucked and im sneezing most of the time,
guess therefore they know i need my ciggs.
asked for permission and they say wich place can smoke, where
cant smoke (all my granny fren all around)
=.= so grateful,
saw nana laogong, dont think she saw me.
by the time i want to shout for her, she's gone.
today is my off day :D
i do not know what else to do after meeting RAID.
great, (: i'm bloody gna go home and cry.
LOL. no worries hunk! i'ma big girl now, remember?
ROYHAN HUNK said, he still keeps the letter i wrote to
him when he's gna graduate in his wallet :)
o.o and yesterady i read all my past comment.
saw what i wrote to him, being written back to me,
so i'll remember.
i NEVER THREW AWAY ALL THE LETTER anyone wrote to
me alright?
includes, hunk, sofea (& her sisters), syaz, adlin, xuan......
i miss lantern leis, wrote to him comment.
wonder when can meet up again, at temple.
LOL. so that i can sit his bike? and go rounding again.
the last time we did that was 1-2 years ago.
we went out at 7 came back past midnight(:
see how beautiful and peaceful hougang is.
so i stand behind his haro while he rides me.
(: i said anything happen, i help you chiong you just run.
hahahahahahaha.
typical me, always like that when im with anyone.
the rest of the time was me riding his haro while
he rides his daddy bike.
miss those time, run here and there.
but nahh, all mature liaos.
-.= yesterday my 2 boss talk to me many things,
and about marriage. i say " i dont want to marry"
:( i bloddy repeat that to many people yesterday liek hunk and yadayada.
i miss my mutalib sayang, oh come give baby a big hug!
wonder when can see him.
ohh, quan call me princess=.=
off now, gotta go dance my morning away

bitch

2008-10-27T22:38:00.000-07:00

[edited]

was planning with my bitch last night where to go on the 10th.
(its my 5th stick of the day;now)
well, well... continue...
suggestions by me:
sentosa- bikinis and sundress with a lovely bitch
(drown me please?)
botanical garden- picnic
(it's so far away, got no idea how to get there)
zoo- (idk what we can do there?camwhore?)
so since my bitch say she's fat and had no plan to put on a bikini,
we shall head to the zoo(:
finally, not shopping anymore, i'm fucking broke.
=.= but plans to go get a sandal tmr, and a bag perhaps.
somebody please buy me a RL bag? the gold one?
$90+++, :(
puhhhhhlease?
LOL.
tata, earthlings

dashed

2008-10-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

things so going wrong-

i didn't manage to wake up to go for the bloody conquer o.
tired sey~ yesterday was so worst, for work=.=
and those fucked up people who orders and don't bother
to finish it up. afterall, i still manage to joke around(:
and receive smiles from customers!
my pathetic brother came to picked me up, he was
fucking force to do so(pathetic!)
received a message from streetwave this morning,
apparently i've sent my CV for the post (sales promoter)
and i've to go down for interview this saturday, at 10am.
goodness sake, i've already got a job.
(i dont bloody know what to do)
well well, chatting with sakhai now. we're both too lazy
to go to school for the bloody conquer o(although school
is just a small road away from my home)
(: wansuey brother!
anyway, i've forgotten to say was talking to ahpig the other day.
he said he don't like me now, caus i've changed to my original self.
_!_ i don't give a damn uh brother.
i only know, you got problem, i sure go down(:
wansuey!
LOL. not forgetting my xuaniie uh. anybody touch her come try me
first uh, pcb. (sorry sis, that day at supermarket i not there)
wansuey!
sometimes, i really wonder is this the kind of life, i wanted?
for all these people, there for me thick & thin. thankyou uh.
i'm very blessed i guess?
i still remember ahgirl, when i ran away from home 3 years ago,
she took me in for 4 days(: we eat together, sleep together,
run together. i never forget this, then we got to fight each other.
i never knew this would happen, somehow we're still sisters again.
i guess, fighting really strengthen bonds (:
i fought with so many people, now we're good friends.
girls: ahgirl, xuaniie, huilian, jialin(:
guys: bangxuan,joshua(ahzhu), arthur & many more..
i treaure brother & sister hood.
during this period of time, i remember being so rude and unrespectful.
but i was very lucky they didn't really scream my heads off.
i saw how people indulge in drugs before my very own eye.
ice, ketamine, gum, ecstacy whatever lah, except for subutex.
LOL, im so glad i resisted. and i fucking regret going near them:(
especially ice, they left me with things i've to grow with.
those idk what you call them behind my back=.=
o.o enough of scaring people with my true life story.
yesterday, thunder & lightning struck so fiercely seyy.
thankfully arthur msged me;
he knew i'll be so terrified, he's here to comfort. he said,
even if the sky drop he as my best friend shall be my blanket and
cover me(:
(although, i wished so much the msg to be from someone else)
i just tried the whiskey i had at home, COOOOOOL!
i love it, i love it! better than the last time i tried at pinky's place.
i think it's nice but not as strong as martell luh.
i'm so excited for xuaniie to get her new house.
i'll go get some free drinks anytime i wanted to=.=
want try the one she bid for 347$ , our blk number.
whooooooo! BATOK 347 WANSUEY!
long time no say this, ever since carebear inside lo.
not as lively not as united as before.
i promised i'll wait for him, i promised.
if you're my friend, please fucking don't touch drug.
(: you wouldn't want to regret.

to arthur:

it's your first day of work today! please please,

do not get caught. and remember what i said,

the money is good but if you've made enough please leave.

have a life, have a brain of yours.

happy working though!

may god bless you.

if, maybe

2008-10-26T23:25:00.000-07:00

if we're given a chance, perhaps we won't fall in love.
we wouldn't give love an excuse to make a fool out of us.
what's more hasn't we gave or receive?
let be lost in our memory, drown myself in you.
you're just so far, like a distant star(:

my eating disorder is getting from worst to worser.
my hair starts to drop more than just a couple,
the sickening amino acids is burning a hole in my stomach.
>:( hmmmptf. i've no moolahs, bought another pack today.
2 days once, thats like idk what.
i've to save, save and save. somebody please put a note on my head
so i wouldn't forget. i'll be going out with baobei in 2 weeks time.
if i fucking don't save, i'm going to die =(
am watching forbidden kingdom now.
and oh, we haven watch that darn HSM3 .
it's holiday today, i dreads going to work.
soembody please kill me?

over

2008-10-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

:) yesterday at work, was i think the only day that's
worth them paying me. was busy, learnt new things and yadayada.
after work went to buy raid's advance birthday present,
thus meeting him tomorrow to pass him everything :D
good now, i don't know who i'm going to do this with.
everything's so over.
oh i didn't get to drink yesterday, i realised if you drink with an
empty stomach you'll tend to vomit.
& i havent tried that whiskey so i don't know if that works for me.
somebody, please save me?

freedom

2008-10-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

afterall, it's not about just you & me (:
*give me some time to edit the necessary of my blogskin

------------------------------------------------------------

well, i'm not sure how i'm going to do this.
i'm not sure, how i want to live my life.
if i ever ever ever going to pursue all my interest,
i swear i'll end up somewhere unpleasant.
THE LIST :

1) re-pierce my lip -should i?
2)to do a half back piece:) -it's sinful, & exp beb!
3)go shopping like nobody's business -i've no moolahs on me
4)find a NEW part time boyfriend -NO, i'm happy the way i am now
5)go sun-tanning w/o being tanned -got such thing meh?
6)gain 5kg -no appetite
7)go clubbing -UNDERAGE
8)kiss my bitches -RAYDIN CAN'T MAKE IT ON THE 10
9)to fight with someone -o.o, any volunteer?
10)tell mummy "iloveyou" -nonono, bad choice

all those things, i wanted to do with all the rest of the
protestion=.=
i was thinking of piercing when i looked into the mirror,
and saw my piercing mark still there:( regret taking it out.
uh, shit. then i thought of this tattoo i once dreamt of having.
a phoenix with the wing almost flapping, ready to fly :(
it's a sin lei, but i like~ if i know when im dying, i'll get it
1 day before i die=] i'll have no regrets then.
the rest uh, lazy want to explain.
anyway found out that beach dress or whatever is actually called
"sun dress". very pretty indeed, sheer romance has promotion:)
(i guess?)
i can't find my photos :( fuck the computer _!_
dumb fuck !
ish ish, everytime i walked home from work (pass 2 days),
i saw firdaus & clique. LOL.
i'm walking home alone today, hope i don't bumped onto them.
i don't know what i should say anymore.
i think my pay is pathetic, after buying bby's present,
im left with no moolahs. luckily is daily pay, so i still can buy my
ciggies tomorrow, if not i swear i'll die miserably.
i think my blog song is so saddening=.=
can somebody please like introduce a song which can makes you dance?
oh, i dont bother asking those around me, they're as sad as i am.
nevermind,
now, i see no point of being a gangster.
i used to detest them, i still do now.
"the more backing you have, the more hum ji you are"- ahzhu
phrase above from ahzhu.
i dont want people saying im "sumchuan po".
(AST GIRL)
i don't like people asking "eh, you where wan uh?"
i see no point in practising gangsterism.
definitely, there's a good and bad point.
if you know where you are, where you wanna stand definitely,
you're smart enough.
i'm very fortunate to leave without anything happening to me.
i wonder how it feels to be someone's wife :)
i bet i'll be a runaway bride in the future, im sure!
i know im very random =.=
anyway, my eating disorder is getting form bad to worse.
i do not know why.
i dont even feel like eating when im hungry.
the sight of food, turns me off.
but i still can drink water :]
hey, can somebody please sponsor me a bailey or a martell or a vodka pear?
:)i've this whiskey here at home, i think if i drink neat,
sure can last 2 days (slowly drink uh)
ohoh, i don't like drink mixture. well, it depends uh.
too bad xuaniie's pregnant uh, sis ?
if not can jio her come out drink, if not they sure kill me*
hey, i'm thinking of getting my naval pierce=p
i know my god-daddy sure bring me go pierce,
but i swear i'll have to get tortured by his never-ending nags
i shall end here, i'm going off to work in 2hrs 15mins time:)
when busu's home, perhaps we could start drinking.
cheers oi!

shopping

2008-10-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

well, i shall not stress myself about relationships:D
i think i need a great shopping spree, im going out with
my bitches on the 10th of november(my off day)
wonder where will be going, or perhaps raydin's not going.
i want to go to the beach! i want to tan myself, i want to
wear my long-long-no-touch bikini, sumwhere hiding
in my drawer :) shall i wear the brown or the blue one?
i think i shall wear the blue one, it's a gift from mummy though
from fox ladies ~
and it's the most expensive that i own $60.00+.
if raydin's going then we shall just go shopping!
wheeeee, i need to get myself a sandal, i need to get myself a
summer dress(beach dress) or whatever you call it.
i need to get myself a huge bag(beach bag).
i'm so obsessed with beach, it's so long since i've went to (tan)
at a beach.
i need to go out and socialise with people of my kind:)
o.o and im running out of money fast 1 pack of MM 2 days,
it's already like more 3/4 of my salary :(
=.= i need to seriously go to a buffet so i could stuff myself like a pig.
i need to go and play, o.o .
talking about play, maybe i could plan a picnic outing with my girls at
marina south or whatever you call that:D
we could go fly kite, we'll bring champagne, a picnic basket.
nonono, now i think botanical garden is more girly.
let's hope they'll whip out something yummmy.
oh, and am getting my phone back tomorrow instead :(
too much to repair.
today, we got this sick plan, to watch high school musical3.
o.o, i go for zac effron (whatever his name), sake!
ohoh, i miss drinking, somebody please please ask me out for a drink
but perhaps somewhere not so far :]
the only person i could think of is sugarhoney! but she's working:(
ohoh, i decided to go for my conquer o's class.
i know amazingly, i'll go for the sake of going.
i'll study for the sake of (not staying at home), way too boring.
it's been so long since i hit the town and take a stroll,
shopping and indulging and gossiping with my girls.
ermmmm, anybody knows where the botanical garden is?
=.=

one last chance

2008-10-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

just when i thought we're over when we haven even started,
just when i thought i have to accept the fact.
as much as i've longed you to stay, god hears my prayer.
you'd changed your mind, agree to my solution.
to give it a trial, i'm very honoured:)
BBY <3

-------------------------------------------------------------

today work, was slacking :D my new hobby!
i need to bring a book over to read i guess?
was sad at that point of time, still very nervous
(afterall it's my 2nd day of work)
no messages today though, except for bby wishing me "happy working"
caus i asked him too:X
did i mention last night, was working and 1 whole table of uncle
staring at me =.= ya, i know. they're not pervert lah,
they're all my granns friend, to look ater me so that nobody would
disturb or bully me when im working.
heard grann say they will bash up those ppl who bully me 0.o?
today, there's 2 big table, instead of 1 :(
i got so unhappy and uneasy i complained to grann.
so exaggerating call so many of her friends to watch me work
then, they only leave after i finished my work.
so, the MANAGER of the coffeeshop is so kind to help me out :D
haha, now i finally know how important it is to eat finish your food,
caus if not, you're troubling the person who collects em.
work was boring after 8pm, but today got more customer than yesterday.
i think caus i too cute already :X
well, its a fact okay? heard 1 customer said that to his friend:)
MUAHAHAHA.
well, im hungry now. i just got nagged by this pig.
shaddup pig, thank you!

bye earthlings !
i LOVE YOUUUUUUUU

if it's me that you want

2008-10-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

i thought i've saved myself, from a heartbreak.
is this part of karma and retribution?
is it me that you wanted?
is it me that you love?
i think, the way we are now is very comforting.
i seriously, think that way.
we wanted to take a step further, you pulled me down.
you said, you have to leave lest i suffer from a
serious heartbreak in the future.
is this what you want? we haven even started and we have to end it.
a week ago, we're just friend.
a day later we're buddy.
a moment ago, we're more than friend.
a minute ago, we've ended up in nowhere.
i've lost, terribly in this game call love.
has it ever occur to you, the feeling we share is love?
keeping a distance, does it work?
thank you, for your very kind intention and thoughts.
but the truth, i realise you're the reason i keep my roots upright.
hasn't it been for you, i didnt manage to breakaway.
hasn't it been for you, i'd never fall in love.
was it just those sweet-nothings?
tell me, if its me that you want.

i'd give my all

2008-10-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

♥I'm thinking of you

in my sleepless solitude tonight

if it's wrong to love you

then my heart won't let me be right

cause I'm drowned in you

and I won't pull through

without you by my side

I'd give my all to have

just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to feel your body next to mine

cause I can't let go on

living in the memory of your song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me

imagining I'm looking in your eyes

I can see you clearly

vividly emblazoned in my mind

and yet you're so far

like a distant star

I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have

just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to feel

your body next to mine

cause I can't let go on

living in the memory of your song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

I'd give my all to have

just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to have

your body next to mine

cause I can't let go on

living in the memory of your song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

give my all for your love tonight...

kau ingin ku miliki

2008-10-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

ku cuba nyatakan rasa cintaku hati masih terus keliru
andai kau fahami isi hatiku yang benar ingin memilikimu

well, oh well. work was very boring yesterday:X
sent the wrong food to the wrong person, luckily my boss didn't scold.
was msging half the time :) it's so boring yet im in my sleeping mode.
to all those who messaged me and encourage me for my first day of
work, thank you so much! "happy working" (LOL)
i found out, i got eating disorder yesterday.
first i thought i was suffering from aneroxia. but i realise,
aneroxia is self-inflict, isn't it? so thus, i came out with the conclusion that
i used to eat whenever i'm hungry (that is every 2 hours meal)
now, when im hungry, i don't bother to eat therfore when i eat,
i don't feel like eating instead i feel like puking.
bby asked me to go see a doctor, but i don't think there's a need.
so he asked me to swallow my vomit if i have to, and force myself to eat.
yesterday at work, keep looking at the time, messaged bby but he never reply.
i told him, i've prayed very hard for his victory and safety
(may god hears my prayers)
then he messaged: "raid accident.. nie kawan dier eh?"
means bby got accident, is this his friend?
__ ya i know. i knew it was fake, i knew it was him caus he typed like this.
actually, i feel like want to scold vulgarity to whoever it is.
then i didnt, i said in mean malay, "why is that so? no, im his princess"
LOL. in the end he admit, was him. nevermind, was angry not because of
the prank, was because he didn't msg me when his race start at a later time.
then i wasted so much of my msg :(
he called me when he reached home, thngs was fine already.
he tested me this mine testing game, told me it was about "mac"
so im supposed to pronounce the word he spell .
first was "m-a-c-c-h-i-c-k-e-n"
"mac-chicken"
"m-a-c-f-l-u-r-r-y"
"mac-flurry"
"m-a-c-n-u-g-g-et"
"macnugget"
"m-a-c-h-i-n-e"
"machine"
LOL. he thought, im dumb he said i laugh as
if im so happy.so i tested him.
"n-o-n-o"
"nono"
"n-e-n-e"
"nene"
"n-o-n-e"
"no-ne"
LOL. i told him it was "NONE".
:) gave him a riddle.
clue: replace all the "IT" with a (7 letter word)
(answer at the end of the post)

IT is greater than god

IT is more evil than the devil

the rich needs IT

the poor has IT

if you eat IT, you will die

:( he gave up.

hahha. was on the way to central at night when my brother keep disturb us

talking. so bby got so frustrated.

asked bby what was he thinking when he was racing,

he said "to win, and buy me my topup card"

haha, bby was too tired, that he went to sleep early.

saw daddy, i confided in him. told him i broke up with my ex,

and told him about bby. i said :

"he will only accept me if my whole family agrees to it"

(actually was the another way round:X)

well, daddy wished him luck! & he support him okay!

daddy said :

"tell him, if he wants my daughter he better plan his future,

even if he call down 5 lorry of ppl to whack me, i won't give him

my daughter if he doesn't plan his future"

daddy meant that he wants bby to plan his future well, what he wants to do,

he have to include me in the future, and of caus take very good care

of daddy's little princess :)

right bby, right right?

well, bby has not wake up :( im bored.

last night his gdnight message was the longest he ever sent me, im

very touched [but i found out a hidden meaning]

1 part was refering to my ex, coming back to remember about the past.

:( maybe i've forgotten to let him know a piece of good news and that

my ex has given up on me, therefore he gave us his blessing:D

(answer to riddle : NOTHING)

"setahun sudah ku menunggu dirimu.

akhirnya kau menjadi miliku. tapi sayang ke hadiran kekasih

lama mu datang kembali mengenang cinta dahulu.

mengapa ini semua harus berlaku.

apakah ini semua kerana diriku. sedangkan aku cuma watak

dalam percintaan. tak sanggup aku melepaskan mu.

selamat malam putri ku. engkau la satu satu putri yang ku sayang

dan cinta"

-bbyku <3

deleted

2008-10-23T23:51:00.000-07:00

i've deleted 1 of the post of you ever ever know.
caus i think it's very hurting.
furthermore, ARTHUR had sorted out his thinking
thanks to KERIN. yes, i'm very proud of him now.
at least, he won't have to die. see,i gain a best friend:D
even, if we cannot be couple, it's as good as being best friend.
furthermore we get to keep in contact, still chat and even
meet-up. stay strong, may god bless you.
thank you for sorting out your thinking and giving your
blessing for me & him .

thank you!~

kau ingin ku miliki

2008-10-23T22:34:00.001-07:00

Pertemuan yang tiada terduga
kini kita saling bermesra
masa berganti hati diubati
mekarnya cinta mula dirasai

BBY KU, KAU INGIN KU MILIKI :D

i just bathed, was msging with bby halfway when he went missing.
to think he went to eat & bath without telling me :D
got so worried, keep messaging and calling him.
he got a race today, hope he'll win safely(although i didn't tell him).
hahaha. he said he have to go, if not then how will he have the
money to top up for me. i don't want to end up with a broken hand or leg:X
so i'll pray very hard, right bby?
chatted on the phone with bby, my heart almost leaped out.
first time talking in malay okay?(in th phone with bby)
haha, then i keep saying he "BLUFF".
he say my topup card is my duit raye :)
oh nevermind, he's off to lavender with his friend. then we message.
told him, i'll be getting back my phone tmr, then will put his picture
as my wallpaper.LOL. he told me he already put as wallpaper.
his friend saw and say "i'm cute". =.=
bby told them i'm his putri cause he scared lest they steal me away from him.
i thought he purposely show his friend, then he say in malay..
he put my picture as wallpaper, if they cant see means they're blind.
:XX well, bby is too busy to entertain me, so im here blogging.
bby likes my blogskin, did it for him okay?
take up so much of my time:X well, since bby steal lyrics for
my gdnite msg, so did i :) i'm his copy-meow.
people think it's a good thing if im with him:p
caus, i get to learn MALAY & well many other things.
well well, i'm so looking forward to next year hari raya to celebrate with him.
HAHAHAHA. then i get duit raya from him again:X
LOL.

bby, i sayangkan u byk2 sey.

klau pape pun terjadi kepada u, i tetap akan

jage u sampai dunia kiamat:D

pissed off

2008-10-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

im darn pissed off with the way you conduct yourself when
im gone, i dont want to be reminded of the past.
i dont want to know what i said or what i've done.
i had enough, i thought you will let me off:(
for heaven sake, i think its very silly if you want to end your life.
you're not any teenager you're 18 years old.
you get to do what you want already, furthermore there's so many
girls out there. open your eyes big.
i already persuade you nicely, i told you what i wanted.
since you cant do all that in the past, why do you think i believe
you can do it in the future.i already told you, i do not have any hard
feelings for you neither do i lied to myself.
so thank you, if you want to die for me. i m very honoured.
but i can tell you i TOTALLY despise you, someone with no
mindset neither with any feelings for his loved ones.
i do not bother how many people you want them to scream the head
off me, but please do not always think of the bad side or the good side only.
i want to declare, i do not have any love for you.
this post is not to hurt you but just to let you know, and let the world
be my witness. i cant believe you're so selfish to want me back,
even though you know that i wont be happy even though you know
that my heart is not with you. confident does not means anything.
since you're so willing to try why not wait for another 10 years or so?
why not be successful first then come talk to me?
stop lying to yourself, and stop telling me that im lying to myself okay!
i know what i want. i do not want a guy to change totally because of me.
fate plays a big role, i dont think fate is on our side now.
stop thinking just because my grann approved us of our relationship
so therefore she will dissaprove my next one.
even if she do, i will not give up.
and i've already told everyone since i've chosen this path, i make
sure i walk down whether im happy or unhappy in the future has
nothing to do with anyone. i do not want to be a puppet.
i do not want someone to remind me of my past.
i think everything is too late

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(psssssst.... bby top up my prepaid for me)=.=
THE MOST TOUCHEST THING EVER!
well, was telling bby that i could not msg him much caus my prepaid
so damn bloody low.
he asked if im using M1?
then i say ya,why?
LOL. next moment he send me :
"putri nye pin **16 digit number**"
i thought it was so fake or perhaps he bought for me the
5$ top up card and am so suprised it was the 18$ one.
anyway, so honoured caus im not his gf :XX
haha, i asked why and he say:
"sebab i sayang putri"
TOUCHING LAH SEYYYY!
:) i syg bby too!